When I was a more regular blogger, I would blog semi-frequently about being single. Makes sense: a person’s relationship status is one of the most basic facts about them.
But a comment I would sometimes get from older never-been-married women is “just wait until you’re 30.” At the time, I doubted it would be much different at 30 than it was at 27.
And that has proven to be mostly true.
So what has changed since I wrote posts like this at 27?
Well, I’m much more settled. So much so, that I actually don’t mind being single. Sure, I’d love the intimacy of a relationship above all other early ones, but the desire is less acute than it used to be.
With the settling, I spend less time looking out for a husband, so I have more energy to spend getting to know those that God has placed in my life, regardless of who they are.
Another thing that has changed is that I’m actively planning for a future alone. Until last month, I had never purposefully chosen to save for retirement (a previous job had done so on my behalf, but that’s it).
In my 20s, I assumed that some day I would marry, and my husband would take care of retirement. While that’s still a possibility (and a welcomed one), I recognize that waiting for an earthly knight is not a viable retirement plan.
While I am building a financial plan based on being “just me,” plans change, and I’m okay with that. If I do get married next year (or 10 years from now), I hope my husband will be blessed with my financial shrewdness (and not burdened by my debt).
A final thing that has seemed to change since turning 30 is how others seem to perceive me as a single woman. Whatever they may have been actually thinking, when I was in my 20s it always felt like others were playing matchmaker in their head. They were acting on the same assumption I was: that marriage was just around the corner for me.
Now, others seem to see my marital state as more than a passing phase, and that seems to allow them to see past it and notice me as something more than a bride-to-be.
Yes, being single at 30 is different than it was at 27. But the basics haven’t changed: I still have a loving Father who cares for the husbandless, one who calls all of us (regardless of relationship status) to forsake all else and follow Him.
And that’s where I want my focus to be.