One of my favorite things about reading books and watching movies is analyzing the worldview presented (yes, I’m one of those people).  Most are easily placed in their time period based on this alone (though I always cheat and look at the publication date because it helps to interpret what the author/director is saying).

And increasingly I’ve noticed books and movies point to the fact that our culture idolizes happiness.  Elizabeth Gilbert admits as much in Committed that she forsook her first wedding vows simply because she was unhappy.  And most people would not fault her for it.

But God would.  I don’t mean to bash Elizabeth Gilbert; God is the judge and she has obviously not the only one at fault for our happiness idol.  In fact, I’m more than willing to admit that I fall on the “guilty” side in this matter: way too often my decisions (both immediate and long-term: what to do next, what to eat, where to live, etc.) are ruled by what I want simply because it’s what I want.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not saying we should don hairshirts or polar bear swim in the Atlantic.  The answer is not to avoid happiness and pleasure as has been a historical Christian misinterpretation.  Rather, the answer is to put happiness in it’s place.

Happiness is good and a blessing.  But it’s not more important than loving God and loving others.

Thanks for reading this…I know that I needed this reminder once again.

Photo by CarbonNYC

I’m tired of going to bed alone.

I don’t mean that in a sexual sense, just that singleness seems synonymous with loneliness the most at bedtime.  I can fill the rest of my life with fulfilling relationships, but this is one area where that just won’t do.

The other night was one of those nights where I just can’t get myself to go to bed because it’s hard to remove all the distractions I use to keep from remembering I’m alone.  These nights aren’t that frequent, but when they happen, they’re overwhelming.

But Saturday I found hope in this:  These nights are numbered.  Of course, I’d like to think that they’re numbered because I’ll soon have a partner in life, but even if that’s not true (or never will be true), they are still numbered as my days on this earth are thankfully numbered.  One day, God will save me from this world (via His returning or my death) and there will be no more lonely nights, no more tears.

“And He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.” – Revelation 21:4, NASU

If you are a follower of Christ, you have the same hope.  Whatever misery you know or trial you are facing, these days are numbered.  That’s not the only hope…we also know that God will give us the grace to handle whatever situation we find ourselves in.  But sometimes, knowing that this too shall pass is a greater comfort.

If you’re not a believer in Jesus Christ, you are right to be hopeless.  I don’t mean that there isn’t any hope–God has/is offering you the same hope in Jesus Christ–but if you refuse this hope, life really is hopeless.

These nights will continue to be hard, but I’ll take heart in remembering that they are numbered.

Photo by Gord McKenna

“You don’t have to eat the entire turd to know that it’s not a crab cake.” – Bean in Shadow of the Hegemon by Orson Scott Card

“I realized that when everything is stripped away from you and you have nothing, you find out what you really are down deep inside.” – In the Presence of My Enemies by Gracia Burnham, p. 162

“I can’t believe she ran out of answers before I did.” – Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson, p. 14

“…you must also own Religion in his rags, as well as when in his silver slippers; and stand by him, too, when bound in irons, as well as when he walketh the streets with applause.” – Pilgrim’s Progress by John Bunyan, p. 92

“Human nature seems to find ways to justify its wrong doing, to move ahead with what serves its self-interest, and then to figure out an explanation so it doesn’t sound so bad.” – In the Presence of My Enemies by Gracia Burnham, p. 192

“The Cross is God’s answer to the question ‘Why don’t you do something about evil?’ ” – If God is Good by Randy Alcorn, p. 206

“It’s hard to believe the old saying that ‘things happen for a reason’ when the things happening to you are god-awful and you just want them to be over with.” – The Year We Disappeared by Cylin Busby and John Busby, p. 142

“…to my fellow Christians I feel compelled to say [about Islam]: We need to find ways to defuse the raging resentment and hatred that fuels ‘holy war’ and introduce a God who does more than demand rituals–he truly loves us.” – In the Presence of My Enemies by Gracia Burnham, p. 304

“And I’ve discovered that most people I’m afraid of are actually very friendly.” – When You Reach Me by Rebecca Stead, p. 26

What, a new post on the Ignorant Historian? I must admit, I never thought that the tax season would swallow me whole as it has.  I had those three days of much-needed relaxation, and then I’ve had three crazy days of taxes…and it’s just the beginning.  Until April 15th, I’ll have little free computer time.   Not that it’s a BAD thing…I love what I’m doing and I still have time for other priorities, but unfortunately blogging seems far down that list.

I don’t WANT to quit this blog, but at this moment, I can’t think of what to say.  I prefer to hold to a if-you-don’t-have-anything-to-say-don’t-blog philosophy, but clearly this post goes against that idea.

I do have a couple ideas for meaningful posts rolling around in my head.  Hopefully, I’ll be able to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard, really) to share those posts with you in the next week(s).

Perhaps you could help me out, though…what would YOU want me to blog about?  I need some help to get back into a blogging mindset!

Thanks each and every one of you for taking the time to read this here blog.  Your comments have been encouraging even when I haven’t had the time to let you know that.

Oh my, this weekend was exactly what I needed after a crazy 3 months of travel, emotional highs and lows, sickness, and more work than I felt like I could handle at the time.

Start of the weekend: Friday was a good-busy day at work with an encouraging visit from a big boss and full of “snow day” excitement. That really doesn’t go away when you grow up, does it? Oh yeah, and did I mention, I got a raise? After work the day got better as I got to go HOME. As much as I love the people in my small group, I was craving time away from people.

Saturday we woke up to a blanket of snow, and the cold stuff still falling (actually, a lot of sleet later in the day). I do love snow…as long as it stays outside and I stay in. Still haven’t touched the stuff (though I’m going to have to make a run out to my car to get another can of Diet Dr Pepper this morning). Spent the day doing a little laundry and a lot of reading. Started The Help…so good!

Sunday church was cancelled and the city was just starting to wake up from the snow.  Five inches of snow may seem like nothing to others, but that’s a lot here in the South when we don’t have the capabilities to do much with it.  Another day of reading The Help, with a short break to watch Hairspray with the roommate.

And then today, the party continues.  Of course, I can’t quite neglect work like I have the last two days, but I really just need to make a few calls to cancel our appointments and handle any new emails/voice mails that come in.  All which can be handled here without leaving my comfy reading chair.

I will be going back to work tomorrow, possibly.  Though honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if they cancel school again (I don’t work in a school, but that’s how we determine if we’re open or closed for taxes).  Even if I have to go in to work, it’ll be at noon at our yet non-busy site.  Not bad!  When this is all over, I’ll be ready to be around people again.

A Three-Day Indoor Vacation? Please!

It’s weird having gone three weekdays without a word on the blog.  I just don’t have the energy to say anything and not much to say.  I’m looking forward to a slow weekend to rest from people.

I’ve slept about 9 hours every night this week, and I’m still exhausted.  I don’t think it’s from lack of sleep at this point, just an over-stimulus from people.  Weddings, traveling, and tax season are all full of people…a lot for this introvert.

We’re expected to get 5-7 inches of snow tonight and tomorrow.  I really hope it happens, because I want an excuse to never leave home.  Nobody is scheduling tax appointments for later this afternoon, just in case.

Tax season is going well.  As in the past, I’m loving it, even though it leaves me exhausted.

I hope you all have an excellent weekend…I hope to be back to myself come Monday!

As nasty as these things are, they seem to pass quickly, praise God.

Disposable ice buckets make excellent barf buckets.

Having a nurse for an aunt is incredibly handy.

Watching my brother make his wedding vows is incredibly surreal.

My brother’s friends don’t remain high schoolers forever.

Illness is a great distraction when I’m trying not to cry.

Just because he’s getting married doesn’t mean my brother will stop being a pest.

Being ill gets me out of talking to virtual strangers.

Though the thought of most food makes me want to barf when I have a stomach bug, wedding cake still sounds appealing.

My brother can be kind and compassionate (to his sister!) when required.

My dad will always go to great lengths to care for his daughter.

When I’m ill, it’s always best to have my mommy around.

I hadn’t planned on blogging this weekend.  I had thought I’d come back Monday with a cutesy “it all went well, and they’re married” post, but it seems that further developments require me to share the story with you prematurely.  At least if someone laughs at the situation, then I can feel like there’s some good from it!

So, last night after the rehearsal, I got ready for bed late.  Two of my Seattle cousins were sharing a hotel room with me, and I was doing my best to be quiet as I finished packing and showering while they slept.  As I lay under the covers, I felt unusually tense.  I assumed it was stress and/or the bed, but I found out otherwise shortly.

About an hour later, I woke up extremely hot.  I took measures to be cooler (including sitting on the cold toilet seat!), and was eventually able to cool off enough to get back to sleep.  Which lasted about 30 minutes.

At which time I knew I had an imminent date with that cold toilet, but didn’t quite make it.

Is now the time where I should say you might not want to read this if you’re queasy?  Or is it too late?

Yes, in the hotel room that I was sharing with the cousins I haven’t seen in 3 years, I threw up on the floor.  It’s a bad habit of mine; not making it to the bathroom (not that I throw up often).

At that point, I knew something was up.  I knew the tenseness and hot flashes I was feeling were not stress, but something far yuckier.

Not having any reasonable medicine, I woke up my cousins to ask if they did (they did not).  I found out later that they weren’t able to go back to sleep right away…I felt so bad!  I don’t want others to be miserable simply because I am.

Then I went down to my parents’ room and cried for help. That’s what parents are for, right?  My dad was able to find a 24-hour gas station in this 2,500-person town, and bought me a bottle of Pepto.  The color of which I promptly saw in the toilet bowl several more times in the middle of the night.

Scared to go back to bed, I slept on the recliner in my parents’ room.  I was able to sleep for about 45-minute stretches in between bathroom runs, so I certainly didn’t get much sleep.

When it was time for me to start getting ready to go to the church (5:30 AM), we knew we had a real problem on our hands.  I hoped it would have gone away, so that I wouldn’t even have to tell the bride, Amanda.  Unfortunately, there was no hiding it from her.

As an aside, Riley and Amanda were both incredibly gracious to me, carrying more for my health than my ability to participate.  She even texted me on their wedding evening to check in on me!  I’m so happy to be able to officially call her my sister.

So I went to church late (7 AM), with just enough time to get my hair and makeup done before picture.  I had one more bathroom run, but thanks to some medicine from my nurse aunt and her warning to eat and drink NOTHING, that was the last of it (I hope I didn’t jinx it…I’m not in the clear, yet)!

I was feeling better by pictures, and was able to fully participate.  But, as the time drug on and the drowsiness of the medicine started to kick in, it was obvious to all that I wasn’t all right (I’ve heard I was anything from pale or gray to green from various sources).  Thanks to some fast acting, I was made to lay down on a back pew until it was time for me again.  Without those naps between pictures and the wedding, I wouldn’t have made it!

Praise God, I was able to stick out the wedding, and look normal while doing it.  It was funny how many people whispered “Are you sure you’re okay?” to me as I walked down the aisle to take my place as maid of honor.  I actually think my sickness kept me for tearing up as I likely otherwise would have.  About 5 minutes from the end, I knew that I was on my last legs, but I made it…and promptly took a 2-hour nap during the reception.  At this point I was able to slowly introduce water back into my system, of which I was very grateful.

I also slept through the clean-up (I promise that I didn’t fake it to get out of work!) before we made the hour-and-a-half ride back to my parents house.  I’m thankful to be in some borrowed pajamas and resting with the TV to distract me (I have a hard time concentrating on reading at the moment).  I hope to take a nice bath shortly and hope into bed.  Here’s hoping for a must-needed good night’s sleep!

And that’s how NOT to spend your brother’s wedding.