Look Me in the Eyes
Posted in Once I Was a Kansas Girl and tagged with Communication, Dating, Fear, Friends, Me, Relationships on July 11, 2008Last night I babysat for two young kids. Right after I took off the girl’s diaper for her to get in the bath, she prompted peed on the floor. I’ve had several boys pee at inopportune times, but this was the first time that girl has for me. Further evidence that I’ll just take my kids already potty-trained, thankyouverymuch.
I’ve already mentioned before how I’m trying to be more open. I think a key to this is showing that I’m open to communication. And by that I mean with my face and body.
I have had people tell me on more than one occasion after we became friends that they had thought that I didn’t like them when we first met. In none of these cases was it ever true. While some people have rubbed me the wrong way the first time I met them (yes, I’m talking about you, Cindy), this is the rare exception. The problem is, I’m not showing them I’m open.
The other night I was hurrying into my apartment because it was about to storm. All of the sudden, I heard a “hello” coming from the balcony of a neighbor I have never met. It scared me, and it was pretty obvious on my face. The friend that was with me assumed that he must have been a creep and that’s why I gave him that look. Further evidence that I need to work on my facial expressions!
I’ve decided that the best place to start with improving my body language and facial expressions is with eye contact. I really don’t like looking people in the eyes. I prefer to have a heart-to-heart conversation side-by-side not facing the other person. But I’m going to work on it. Not just in personal conversations, but when meeting people and seeing them from across the room, etc. I’m going to use my eyes to show that I’m available to talk rather than averting my gaze to signify I’d rather be alone. Though that might be true. But perhaps it’s not.
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July 11th, 2008 at 9:35 am
I identify a lot with you, Ronnica. I give off a weird vibe to people, or at least I used to. I have been told that people can’t tell what I’m thinking because I have a blank look I give. It takes me time to warm up to people, so I guard myself immediately.
Looking people in the eye? Oh my, has that been a hard thing to learn! I do it more now, but I still often have to consciously choose to do it.
I think it comes from a confidence in my relationship with Christ, if that makes any sense.
July 11th, 2008 at 11:24 am
I am a total social butterfly, so I have no problem being open and friendly with people. But if I do not like someone, then they have doubt about it!
But yes, girl….you need to loosen up! ;-)
July 11th, 2008 at 7:46 pm
If it is any consolation, you seem very open and friendly here! So you have that going for you. :)
(I’m feeling much better tonight and I wanted to say thanks for stopping by and leaving such kind comments!)
July 12th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
I am a social person (not a surprise to anyone I know) but eye contact is a hard thing for me as well. Good luck on that.
July 14th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
I’m still sorry by the way.