Proud to be a Virgin
Posted in Once I Was a Kansas Girl and tagged with Christianity, God, Singleness, Virginity on September 2, 2008I’ve had this post on my mind for several weeks, but many questions made me hesitant to post it. What if you reject me because I’m old-fashioned? What if the topic is simply too personal? What if I’m simply writing this out of pride? What if you think I’ll look down on you? What if the subject really should be taboo?
But with a little help from a bloggy friend, here it is. To be honest, the only reason why I’m going through with it today is because I told her to look for it today. I hope that it can be an encouragement to some.
What I’ve been wanting to say is this: I’m proud to be a virgin. There’s much about my past that is less than stellar, though it would do no good to dredge it up. There are many days I look back on and wish I could redo. But thanks be to God (and He’s really the only reason), through it all I knew I must keep my virginity. As I grew in my faith, the conviction to stay sexually pure moved beyond merely avoiding sexual intimacy outside of marriage to limiting other types of pre-sexual contact.
As you know, I’m single and have never been married. That means that my commitment to God to remain chaste until marriage has led me to remain a virgin. Though this behavior is not seen as “normal” (just take a look at most movies: you know the characters are in love because they get in bed together) and made fun of, I’m okay with being counter-cultural. Sadly, even among Christian circles virginity is a lost art (though anyone reading literature or studying history will see that while chastity among the unmarried and faithfuless in marriage is more rare today, it was not universally practiced in history, either).
I don’t know when/if I’ll be married. If I never marry, I realize my commitment to God’s standard will mean that I will die a virgin. Though I don’t want that, I’m okay with it. My Lord is more important than my own pleasure.
Though you’ve always been wonderful, I ask that today that you be particularly sensitive in your comments. This is not a subject that I feel I can discuss fully. If you ask any questions, I’d prefer to answer them via email, so make sure you have it in your profile, otherwise leave it in your comment. Feel free to email me as well (taleofakansasgirl (at) hotmail (dot) com). Thank you!
Related posts:
- The Cheeses Stand Alone For obvious reasons, I’ve been thinking about weddings a lot....
Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.
September 2nd, 2008 at 7:45 am
I respect and admire your decision to remain a virgin and the commitment to follow through on that decision. You should be very proud! I know that isn't common today, but look what IS common (unplanned pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases) and I think it becomes apparent that your way is the smart & responsible way. Congratulations to you!
September 2nd, 2008 at 7:54 am
I’m a friend of Jen (AKA Dust Bunny Hostage) and wanted to stop by and encourage you in your decision to remain a virgin. It may not be the popular choice, but is certainly the right choice! My young daughter has made a pledge of purity and I pray that she will stick to it like you have!
Be blessed!
September 2nd, 2008 at 8:31 am
I’m only here to cheer you on! In this day and age, you are a breed hard to find. Both my husband and myself saved ourselves for marriage and that was a gift! So keep running this race. It’s so very worth it.
September 2nd, 2008 at 8:41 am
I would be proud as a peacock if I were you! God’s timing is perfection, so when (and if) you find that mate designated for you, you will never have regrets. Congratulations on living your beliefs and not just believing them!
September 2nd, 2008 at 9:34 am
Ronnica,
Your Heavenly Father is well please! As a mother to a little girl I pray daily that she will grow to have to the same conviction and strength to choose virginity. As a woman that choose to live with my husband before we got married I worry that my daughter will say if it was ok for you then why can’t I live with whom ever. I really admire your decision. Kim
September 2nd, 2008 at 10:17 am
I am so proud of you.
Truly.
I will have my daughters read your post and discuss why what you are sharing about yourself is not as common as it once was. Your post will open the door for a heart to heart discussion that two preteens girls (sadly) need to have.
Your Sister in Christ,
Jen
September 2nd, 2008 at 1:40 pm
You go girl!
You probably have gathered that I was not a virgin when Peter and I married. He wasn’t even my first. And you know what? I wish he was. The other experiences…they were just meaningless. I didn’t love the other guy.
I sometimes wonder “why was I so stupid??”
September 2nd, 2008 at 6:12 pm
I have a friend, a guy, who is 34 and still a virgin. By choice, because of his religious beliefs. I think you are not as alone as you may think–many folks likely just don’t speak it out loud. I only know it because he’s a very good friend and we talk about things–many of his friends don’t know that about him.
I think you’re awesome. As is he.
September 2nd, 2008 at 9:17 pm
I say good for you for staying committed. I know that it’s a God Thing – because Virgin or not, you still have all the fleshly desires…you just choose not to cave into them…and well, since you are single and never have been married, it really does make sense.
I told my kids I didn’t want them dating until they were 18 – yeah, that didn’t go over too well. But I’m holding strong that it might!
September 2nd, 2008 at 9:58 pm
You go girl! I support you 100%! I frequently have talks with my boys about staying virgins until marriage! You are the kind of girl I tell them to wait for!
Good for you. And realize that God will bless you for your patience. Really!!
September 2nd, 2008 at 11:11 pm
Hi Ronnica, you are a true testimony thru His grace of faithfulness and purity. I am so thankful my husband and I waited for marriage. My 21 yr old has chosen to wait, like you, for the best wedding gift! I’m proud that you spoke out, because as we all know, there’s so much pressure from everywhere to give in.
God bless,
Brenda :)
September 2nd, 2008 at 11:11 pm
Hi Ronnica, you are a true testimony thru His grace of faithfulness and purity. I am so thankful my husband and I waited for marriage. My 21 yr old has chosen to wait, like you, for the best wedding gift! I’m proud that you spoke out, because as we all know, there’s so much pressure from everywhere to give in.
God bless,
Brenda :)
September 3rd, 2008 at 6:32 pm
I am with everyone above! You go girl! I so wish I could have given this gift to my husband as he did me. My biggest life regret to date!!! I am proud of you and I know whom ever you marry will agree.
September 3rd, 2008 at 7:46 pm
I’m completely with you. I am so glad that my husband and I got to start things together and learn together. I definitely glad we both waited.
September 3rd, 2008 at 9:43 pm
beautiful choice!
:)
September 4th, 2008 at 2:13 am
I think while it must have been incredibly hard to post this that it is a great thing to see. You are a flower among weeds and I for one respect your decision. Too bad our society would look down on this when this is what should be promoted.
Wishing you luck with all you set out to do.
September 6th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
I found you through ‘Best Posts of the Week.’ You should be proud! You will never go wrong putting the will of God first in your life. Just trust his timing and his direction to bring the right person along. Great post!
September 6th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
Oh, I’m so glad you’re posting about this and are courageous enough to “out” yourself :) It’s sad that even in Christian circles virginity is becoming rare.
Being true to God before others is something we should all strive for. I know He’ll bless you for your devotion, whether it’s just a jewel in your heavenly crown or a wonderful man who’s so happy his wife waited for him.
This posts exictes me that there are still women out there who feel this way. I can only pray this over my two young daughters.
And thanks for submitting your post!
September 7th, 2008 at 12:43 am
Thanks for stopping by via BATW the other day, and for the compliments on my purple house and blog. :)
I love this post! How awesome are you! I too made a commitment to remain a virgin until I was married, which I did, and I believe God has blessed my marriage as a result.
September 7th, 2008 at 12:45 am
Oh, and I left the snake pictures off my latest post… just for you! (and, uh, everyone else that has complained about them) :)
September 7th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
I found you through BATW. I applaud you on sharing this with everyone! I also remained a virgin until I got married and I wish that you and I and the others who have left comments here were in the majority instead of the minority. I guarantee, your decision is one that you will always be proud of, and will always be proud to share with others.
September 7th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
Ronnica, you said it all!! Go Girl, you are to be congratulated for not falling prey to the things of this world. You are a shining example for so many others who are struggling with this decision. You are right. The world makes it OK, but God’s Word does not. Stay strong and pure in your faith and your body. You are awesome.
September 7th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
If I had a daughter I would have her read this. Since I do not, I can only pray that when my sons grow up they will be lucky enough to find a girl with your conviction.
September 8th, 2008 at 1:35 am
well, I’m glad I’m getting to comment on this when everyone else won’t be reading it. (and by the way–it was good to catch up on you! I’ve been on a blog-cation!)
I, too, remained a virgin till marriage. I married just before I was 20, so really there was only 4-5 “eligible” years in there. And then I had 13 great years of not having to be a virgin—and now I’m single again. And committed to remaining pure until marriage again. Only I’m terrified to even date anyone because a. I know what the end goal of intimacy is now, and how can I even walk that line? and b. I’m afraid of some jerk making a comment like—hey! you’ve got 4 kids, it’s not like you’ve never done it before!
Anyway, I just want you to know that you’ve got a fellow “warrior” walking by your side. I don’t know HOW I’m going to do it—I just know I AM!
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. You never know who you might reach, adn whose heart you might change!
September 8th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Good for you! I’m impressed and hope my children will be the same way. :)
September 8th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
Hi! I found your blog through BPOTW… I just wanted to tell you how wonderful I think your decision is. It’s difficult to make that decision in this day and age, but I applaud you for it!
September 9th, 2008 at 7:21 am
Wooooooooooooooooooooo, girl! I am loving this! You need to be on many magazine covers, news shows, radio programs…because the world needs to hear this. SERIOUSLY!
If the situation arises and I mention to a friend, "The first time Scott & I had sex was April 8, 2000–our wedding night!" I get a lot of strange, perplexed looks. And, what's even worse, is when a Christian remarks, "Wow…I don't know how you did it…I love the Lord and all, but we totally did it before our wedding–and God forgave us."
It makes me sad.
But you make me HAPPY! God's gonna bless you and honor this decision, Ronnica. Oh but yes, He is!
September 24th, 2008 at 1:36 am
*high five*
Good for you!!!
http://www.gombojav.blogspot.com
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:49 am
HI! I found your blog through SITS!!!
I just turned 34 a few weeks ago and I am still single, never been married…and guess what? Still a virgin!!! In fact, I’ve never kissed a guy.
Thank you for being honest and up front about it in such a public setting as your blog…more people need to know the mandates God has set before us and know that virginity is not a disease but a gift to be given only to your spouse!!
Hope you know there are “more” of us out here and that you are an encouragement to others.
Blessings
Rachel
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:21 am
Good for you!! This is nothing to be ashamed of, but proud of. I currently work with a program in a local high school called STATS (Straight Talk About Tough Stuff.) They give presentations to middle schoolers about the importance of abstaining from drugs, alcohol, tobacco and sex (until marriage.) There are too many STDs that you risk contracting. You also are able to avoid the giult if/when the relationship ends. Know that your Heavenly Father is pleased and you only have an audiene of One to live for – and it’s not society.
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:11 pm
You should be so proud of yourself! What an amazing show of your commitment to your faith and God. I wish I hadn’t given up on my commitment to do the same. I suffered from depression for years that I believe could have been avoided had I been strong and confident enough to stick to my commitment. I know it’s not highly likely, but I hope that my girls (all three of them) can remain virgins until they are married. They are very involved in our church and its youth group, and I hope that will help them to strengthen their faith and commitment to God. Hopefully, my girls can learn from my experience, too, that the decision to lose your virginity is one that shouldn’t be taken lightly and can have major repurcussions on your future.
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:28 pm
I am applauding you! Thanks for sharing.
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:05 pm
You are to be commended! I know in this day and age how difficult it can be to remain pure, but I know the rewards will be great for you in the end.
One of my life’s greatest regrets is not waiting. I feel terribly that I did and that I wasn’t able to give my husband that gift. My hope is that I can teach my daughter that painful lesson and pray that she will learn from my mistakes and remain pure for her future husband.
Thanks for sharing and keep strong! You won’t regret it.
October 9th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
so glad to see that there are more people out there like me. i also liked rachel ann’s comment that she’s never kissed a guy. it’s good to not even put ourselves in the situations where we can get into trouble. the first guy i ever kissed on the lips was my husband. lost my virginity on our wedding night. i love that we are both disease free and that neither one of us had high expectations for the other. also, since i know that he controlled himself with me, i don’t have to worry that he’s running around on me.
October 14th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Beautifully said! I’m going to have to forward your post to my teenage daughters. Just bought them the new devotion book by Rebecca St. James called Pure. Maybe you might like it too!
October 15th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Thank you for this post! When I taught high school, I wrote an editorial for the school paper about the fact that I was a virgin when I got married. I wanted to encourage kids that they weren’t alone, and I hoped that seeing that a young, sort-of-hip teacher could remain a virgin until marriage would make them want to explore “Why?” and questions of faith.
November 1st, 2008 at 1:28 pm
I’ve recently discovered your blog via BPOTW and I’m loving it :) Excellent post, and to just “ditto” what everyone else already said – you are to be commended for sure!
December 13th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Shalom
I am your Grandma Gzoe’s neighbor!
What a great JOY to see your decision to remain a virgin until marriage! I was delighted to hear you are going into ministry. I was ordained in 2002 – non-denomination.
I am an internet pastor. Long story.
May GOD richly bless you!
My own Chatroom
http://www.starchat.net/chat/index.php?chan=bible
I am not always there
December 27th, 2008 at 11:36 am
i think that is wonderful and nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about! i hope that my children will be pure when they get married. what a special gift to give your future spouse – if/when you marry.
(stopping by from bpotw)
December 29th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
My sister is 27 years old and hasn’t even been kissed. I am SO proud of her. And you should be proud of you too!!!!!!
December 30th, 2008 at 4:10 am
Its not a choice of right over wrong or to be same as the crowd in my place, but I am a virgin by my desire, my choice. It has nothing to do with being pure to God coz i know myown sins, but its still a nice feeling to hold sonmething of you closed for you in real !! Thanks for the courage to write this post !! You rock !!
December 30th, 2008 at 11:40 pm
That is AWESOME!!! I wish more people felt about this topic the way that you clearly do. Congratulations on your convictions, and strength in continuing to keep to them!!
May 25th, 2009 at 12:05 am
[...] it or not, I prefer it. I like to always be touching at least one edge of the bed. It’s not like I’m going to be inviting anyone into my bed anytime soon, [...]
July 30th, 2009 at 12:32 am
[...] it or not, life’s not about sex. I’m sure sex is great and all (don’t confuse being a virgin with being asexual), but it’s not the end-all be-all even in it’s proper context, [...]