Frankenstein and Rock ‘n’ Roll
Posted in Literature and tagged with Story, Words on April 7, 2009You all definitely pulled out all the stops when giving me your words! I’d like to think that I have a good vocabulary, so I’m not about to admit how many of your words I had to look up. The words given to me have been bolded and linked to the responsible party (scroll over and the name will pop up).
Oh, and when you kept giving me nerdy words, I had no choice but to make my characters nerds! Enjoy!
“Boink!” Frank said, hitting Nelson on the head with a plastic beaker.
“Why’d you do that for?” Nelson scowled, totally missing Frank’s unoriginal onomatopoeia.
“Why’d you eat my organic peaches after I just got made at you for eating my cupcake? I left them macerating in the fridge, not for you to eat when you got your afternoon munchies! Stop coughing on me…I’m already coming down with the flu!” Frank only ate organic, because he knew what a bunch of chemicals can do to an animal…his chickens were living proof. He also tended to be a bit of a hypochondriac, especially now in his latter years.
Nelson’s habit of eating Frank’s food only exacerbated the poor relations between them. Working fifty-hour weeks side-by-side, just the two of them and a dozen transgenic chickens, can do that. Everything about Nelson annoyed Frank: his greasy combover, his need to always have the last word on every “discussion” of Battlestar Galactica, the DeLorean he drove, the way he always smelled faintly of cotton candy. That said, he was the best research assistant he could hope for, as Nelson had both enough knowledge of genetically-altered lab animals and electric circuits. If he was ever going to find a way for chickens to generate usable electricity, it was going to be with Nelson’s help. And of course, there was that other thing.
“I’m sorry, Frank, but they just looked too scrumptious. Here, have the last…” Nelson didn’t get to finish placating his co-worker as the lab suddenly was filled with a splendiferous light.
“What…what…is…THAT?” Nelson managed to blubber out, entirely discombobulated. The light slowly faded until he, Frank, and presumedly the dozen lab chickens, were sitting in the dark.
Oh, no. It’s finally happened, though Frank. What a breakthrough! I can’t tell Nelson yet, though. “Uhh, uhh, maybe it’s a pterodactyl?”
“That’s not funny! What do you think this is, Jurassic Park? This is the real world, not a Michael Crichton novel!”
Nelson’s right, this isn’t funny. Something that close to home isn’t funny. Frank could hear Nelson snuffle in the dark, obviously scared. He’s got a good reason to be frightened…but he doesn’t know it yet.
Frank waited a few seconds more before switching on the breaker. Nelson ran around franctically, checking on each of his favorite chickens, for they were all indeed his favorites.
“Of course the chickens are fine, Nelson. This has nothing to do with the chickens.”
“What do you mean, this has nothing to do with the chickens? The only reason why we are here is to work with these chickens, and try to get them to generate electricity!”
Now is finally the time to tell him. “Uhh, Nelson? I have something to show you. I mean, someone.”
For once, Nelson was silent. He had been working in this underground lab in Oxnard, California for years, and he had never seen this serious look on Frank’s face, even when he was deep in thought.
Frank walked up to the wall, and perfunctorily pulled on the refridgerator. Much to Nelson’s amazement, the fridge moved out easily, allowing a glimpse into the next room. Not being able to hold himself back, Nelson rushed into it and took a look around. On one wall, there were chicken cages, just like there were in the lab he spent most of his time in. On the table sat a laptop, it’s screen filled with a plethora of numbers, tracking the hemoglobin counts of the various chickens, just like Nelson had just been doing. But the thing that surprised him most was the persnickety man in a lab coat and combover, checking on the chickens with care.
It was his doppelganger, dressed exactly as he was, with a nametag that read, “Nelson Daniels,” apparently performing the very same tasks that the original Nelson was in the other room. And this other man, Nelson’s double, looked just as shocked to see him.
Rushing into the room after Nelson, Frank wanted to explain to Nelson and Nelson what was going on. After all, they had been subjects of a scientific experiment since they were babies, so they had the right to know. Just as Frank had collected his nerves to speak, the first Nelson spoke up.
“Verily, you are my very image!”
” ‘Verily?’ You’re a little proud of your simple vocabulary, aren’t you? After all, you’re nothing but a plebian!”
“ME, a plebian? You’re just like me! Uber balding, callipygian [Dana]…”
“What does my butt have to do with anything? Do you want me to moon ya? Do you just like to throw out inconsequential, fancy words?”
“SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS!”
“Does that make you feel better?” the second Nelson questioned in disgust.
Finally, Frank was able to make himself heard above the dueling technicians. He explained how the old Nelson and the new Nelson were identical twins split at birth, raised by two families as identical as can be, and taught the exact same things by the exact same tutors. After their schooling, they were placed in these identical labs, given the exact same task: to genetically alter chickens to be able to generate electricity.
“As you both have realized, you,”–Frank pointed to the new Nelson–”succeeded, while you,”–pointing to the original Nelson–”failed.”
Being the brilliant scientists that they were, the Nelsons questioned in sync, “Okay, then what was the variable?”
“The only variable was that one of you was only allowed to listen to classical music his whole life, while the other only rock ‘n’ roll.”
The original Nelson muttered under his breath, “I knew that music was rotting my brain…”
April 7th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
Love it!
April 7th, 2009 at 11:31 pm
Great putting all the words together!!
My favorite word is pshaw! And yes, I do use it!!!
April 7th, 2009 at 11:32 pm
Or kattywampus…I use that one too…even if I don’t know how to spell it!
April 8th, 2009 at 1:04 am
Round of applause for you! Nicely done, nicely done! =D
April 8th, 2009 at 1:26 am
That was marvelous! My favorite word right now is Whimsy. :0)
April 8th, 2009 at 3:27 am
that is awesome. That was fun to read!!!!
April 8th, 2009 at 5:44 am
Very nicely done! Hilarious!
April 8th, 2009 at 8:00 am
That was fantastic! Really funny!
April 8th, 2009 at 8:57 am
Howdy sitsta! Happy Wednesday. Checking in on Hump Day. Tonight begins Passover. Only 4 days until Easter. Celebrate!
Zen Cupcake
Twitter: TurtleMom23
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April 8th, 2009 at 9:30 am
Awesome!
April 8th, 2009 at 11:00 am
Loved this! What a great idea for your blog. If I hadn’t been so busy with Chemistry and Creative Writing I could have added a word!
April 8th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
Bravo! That was very cool, Ronnica. You definitely have a way with words.
April 8th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
cool!
April 8th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
Bravo! Bravo!! There were some most excellent words in there!!! My favorite? Discombobulated!!! I LOVE that word!!!!
Always glad to have you at The Glen Ronnica!
Jill
April 8th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
Silly me! I sould have given you “hilarious.” That perfectly sums up what you’ve done. You are quite the talent *deep bow*
April 8th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
WILD APPLAUSE!! You did awesome with this Ronnica. Even though you had the words to use, this had SO much imagination involved! I never would have thought of twins, chickens, and variables. It was well written and funny as all get out.
I stand amazed by your creative writing abilities.
April 8th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
Now THAT was a story! You’ll have me giggling all afternoon now. Thanks for making my day!
God bless
April 8th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
nice one. you’re my hero
April 8th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
That was quite a variety of words to fit into one story. But you did it and I wanted to keep reading to the end. Very fun!
♥
Joy
I wonder if they every played the r & r music backwards to see if there were messages imbedded in it. hmmmmmm
April 8th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
Impressive. Mighty, mighty impressive!!!!!! Great job Ronnica!
April 8th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
very good. Couldn’t do that myself!
April 8th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
Thanks, everyone. I had a ton of fun writing it, and truly appreciate your praise of this silly piece. I’m surprised none of you have asked…was it classical or rock ‘n’ roll that slowed the dude down?
April 8th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
That was awesome! You had me laughing out loud! You definitely used “transgenic” correctly! Loved the nerdy characters. Umm… so you think I’m a nerd because I work with trasgenic mice every day?! Just kidding. You did an amazing job! I would have had no idea where to start with all those crazy words! Very impressive!
April 9th, 2009 at 8:29 am
::applaud:: Well done! Well done. I snickered through the entire thing.
April 9th, 2009 at 10:58 am
I loved it!
April 9th, 2009 at 11:00 am
which music rotted the brain? had to be the rock and roll!
Twitter: One_Mom
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April 9th, 2009 at 11:01 am
(oops sorry, that last comment was from me, not my husband).
April 9th, 2009 at 11:19 am
This was my favorite line! “Do you just like to throw out inconsequential, fancy words?” And it had to be Classical, that is the only way to explain Wolfie Mozart’s erractic lifestyle.
April 10th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
That was great! I’m amazed at your creativity. You should do this more often. Or start a weekly/monthly meme where everyone who wants to play uses the same words (different words each time) to create stories.
April 11th, 2009 at 11:59 am
Well done!!