The Poor Object of My Wrath
Posted in The Life of the Historian and tagged with Emotions, Frusteration, Sin, Work on June 26, 2009This morning has already been rather frusterating, as much so towards myself as to anyone else. It bugs me that I’m not able to separate my emotions from my work and from the times I have to deal with credit card companies, video rental stores and people not giving me the information I need. I suppose that’s not a bad thing, but I really can’t stand my emotions sometimes because I feel like I should be just a rational being, logically making my cases.
One example of how I let my emotions sinfully get in the way:
I received a call from the video store this morning saying that I have 3 movies still due. I know I returned them on Monday, when they were due. I know the store doesn’t open until 10, but I thought if there was an employee there to pick up the phone, it might be easier to do before it opens. I call at 9:15, and a man politely answers. I tell him the deal, and then…
Polite Video Store Dude: We don’t open until 10.
Me (rudely, if I do say so myself): I thought if you could answer the phone you could help me.
Polite Video Store Dude: It’d be rude not to pick up the phone.
Me: Not as rude as not helping me when you answer the phone. [Yikes...did I really say that???] Never mind, I’ll call back.
It’s not bad enough that I was rude to someone on the phone, I know this dude. The store is within walking distance of my house, and I’m always going there. I have rappor with the guys that work there. When I call back in a few minutes, he’s going to know it’s the same person, and I’m going to have to give him my name, so now he’ll know who was being rude to him.
He wasn’t even the problem. Though I don’t know why he would answer the phone if he couldn’t help someone, he wasn’t the one who didn’t check in my movies (okay maybe it was, but I don’t know that). He wasn’t the one who didn’t send me the right information to complete this grant application. He wasn’t the one who is not answering the phone when I call them (quite the opposite, actually). Yet I took out my frusteration on him.
Though my emotions were out of hand, that wasn’t the full problem. I allowed my emotions to rule me. They ain’t king, so why do I let them be? That doesn’t mean that my emotions should be ignored or suppressed, but they should be placed under self-control and in proper relationship to God.
Today’s verse: “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” – Psalm 46:1, NASU
Definitely helps me put things into perspective.
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June 26th, 2009 at 10:12 am
Just got off the phone with another guy there. Poor Polite Video Store Dude, he probably didn’t want to answer the phone again after the last time. Anyway, Polite Video Store Dude #2 checked and sure enough they have them. Problem solved…though it wasn’t such a big deal, was it? I guess it’s the whole whatever-you’re-looking-at-looks-huge kinda thing.
June 26th, 2009 at 11:17 am
Thank you for your candidness! I all too often let little things get blown out of proportion because of some other things I shouldn’t have let get blown out of proportion!! Unfortunately, the girls are usually the ones who take the brunt. Psalm 46:1 is a verse I’ve memorized for a while. Thanks for reminding me to use it!
June 26th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
@Elizabeth: Thanks. I felt like I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t share this, and besides, I didn’t have anything else to say, anyway. I AM human.
June 26th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Frustration is such a difficult emotion.
June 26th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
I wear my heart on my sleeve. I really don’t like that about me. What that means to normal people is that if I were Cool Video Store Chick answering the phone and you got snippy with me, I would take it personally and feel that I had affronted you in some way. I would then carry that sadness/anger/pity and I would let it ruin my whole day.
I, too, wish I could coral my emotions. Most men have no trouble doing this…or at the very least, don’t take it personally if they get reamed by another dude.
I definitely have a lot to learn…
June 26th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
I’ve always been very encouraged by your transparency and willingness to share your weaknesses. While you don’t wallow in those moments, you confess them and filter the experience through Scripture, so that God can change your attitudes and beliefs, rather than simply changing your behavior. I believe it encourages those around you too. To see that those who identify with Christ have their own issues but not content to remain in those failed patterns is an inspiration!
June 27th, 2009 at 8:08 am
I found out a long time ago…the hard way…that things don’t always go my way. I can look back now and laugh. Now when these things happen, I WAIT and say, Okay, LORD, what are you telling me here. I am content in knowing HE always knows what is the right way.
June 27th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
I don’t even think you sounded rude! You just sounded level headed to me.
June 27th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
I have a very hard time controlling my emotions. They get the better of me quite often. Something I struggle with on a daily basis.
June 27th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
[...] we headed to Sonic to enjoy one another’s company, and there I shared my story about Polite Video Store Dude. They definitely keyed in on the fact that it was a amicable guy that I was rude to. Yeah, [...]
June 29th, 2009 at 11:18 am
@Iva: Yeah, I hope that this guy isn’t like you and me. Or at least if he is, he was able to get a good laugh out of it!
@K-Lai: Thanks. I just want to make sure that I show that I am in fact human (something that people who know me in RL know all too well…)
@G. Zoe: It’s amazing how often I get mad/frusterated simply because I don’t have my own way. I see these patterns clearer in the children I work with, and try to help them see the sin in it and not just the injustice of it.
@Debbie: It’s hard to convey the tone of voice, but I certainly was rude. Nobody deserves to be talked to the way I talked to him.
@Pam: Me too!
June 30th, 2009 at 9:08 am
Ronnica, that’s great that you recognize all of that. I think when we feel like we are right, and someone accuses us of something that we know is not true, even if it is just turning in a video late, it’s tough to separate one’s emotions from the situation. I can’t say I wouldn’t have acted in the same way. This reminds me of the time I was late turning in a video, and they sent me a note saying if I turned it back in they would take away the charges and give me two free movie rentals. And I thought, why would anyone turn a video on time once they realize the policy. Anyways, it’s great to hear how God is working in you!
July 1st, 2009 at 1:05 am
I’m sorry that was frustrating for you, but it comes across pretty funny. A guy answers the phone because it’s rude not to, yet he pretty much won’t talk to the person on the line because the store isn’t open? Was his name Beavis, by chance?
July 2nd, 2009 at 8:47 am
We all have days like that. For me they come out of nowhere! And then I’m like.. whoa… did I just really say that with THAT tone???
I’d love to offer insight or advice, but it happens to me too. I have been working hard with self control (HORMONES!!!!), and I think there’s plenty of scripture regarding ‘tongue’ use. Unfortunately I’ve yet to memorize them word for word. Maybe it’s because then it would really cause me to be even more aware with no excuses?
July 3rd, 2009 at 12:19 am
Oh, wow, I’m so sorry….I had to laugh so hard at that conversation!! I’m glad the more important moral lesson came through, tho…even if it was something to laugh at for me. :)