Comments on: Man Up Already

By: Ronnica

Ronnica — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 15:12:52 +0000

@Mrs. Mouthy: I’m just about to start up on my back-to-school ad campaign… ;) Seriously though, I’m definitely open to a lot at this point!

@Irish Coffeehouse: I do sometimes hang out with a larger group of singles.

@Dddiva: Oh definitely! I’m thankful for “missed” opportunities in the past. I won’t be the type (and I’m making my friends keep me accountable on this one) to marry a guy simply because he’s the only one I see. I don’t see any good coming from settling. I do try to be open. Sometime this fall I hope to co-host a gathering of other singles with a friend!

@Vicki: I don’t buy into the fact that a girl has to agree to the choosing, but I already struggle with not dominating relationships, if I were to pursue that would make it all the harder!

By: Vicki

Vicki — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 01:39:31 +0000

I didn’t read through all the responses (there are a lot, this must have hit a chord!) but I don’t think it’s a problem to pursue a guy. I don’t see anything in the Bible where it says “and the man will choose the woman and then they will leave their parents and cleave to each other and he will become the head of the household”. It is a fine and decent option to have, but if you are an outgoing person then why not pursue first? I definitely don’t mean go after any man in hopes that one will be the right one, but if you’re interested… Maybe it can be equated with the scenario where the man was on the roof during a flood asking the Lord to save him. A boat came by, a helicopter came by, etc and each time he turned down the help because God was going to save Him. I don’t know, but I’d say don’t rule it out.

By: Dddiva

Dddiva — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 03:30:35 +0000

I know you probably won’t want to hear this, but it is better to be alone than with someone who isn’t the one.
It is hard to wait, but the best thing you can do is get happy with who and where you are in life- that attracts people to you, which will one way or another lead to the right person.
It is hard for guys sometimes, some are shy or whatever. Without asking them out specifically you can show your interest- hey I got a couple of tickets to whatever or a bunch of us were going to go out for coffee or I’m having a few people over would you like to come. Doing something like that lets them know you are interested and they can pursue it or not.
Just an idea. Hope you find the one sooner rather than later.

By: bettyl

bettyl — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 00:16:00 +0000

I understand your feelings. Really, I do. I was single (divorced) for over 20 years, knowing that I loved being married and that was my purpose in life. It was a struggle to be content in the ‘now’ that God gave me until I embraced it and gave it totally to Him to do with as He wanted.

By: Irish Coffeehouse

Irish Coffeehouse — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 19:31:55 +0000

I think, a bit offtopic here, no matter what there still has to be the loneliness factor. Of course a guy can hang with his best buds, but women offer that buddy factor, but more than that too- talking about dreams, futures, aspirations, etc.

I don’t know why guys don’t pursue more often. But I will say this, when discussing something with my husband I discovered men are like this: they pursue AND ONLY MOVE FORWARD if they know success will be achieved. I’ve taken note and I find this to be accurate. Accurate of ‘wholesome’ (not the best word, but you’ll understand) men who aren’t out to hook up with the next cute blonde/brunette.

At your church… have any of you considered a group date? All the single girls with all the single guys- no one paired up, simply a group date? Seriously.

By: mrsmouthy

mrsmouthy — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 23:35:55 +0000

I think you should just keep putting the word out there that you’re single and looking, be open to guys you wouldn’t normally consider, and just have fun!

By: Caity

Caity — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 22:33:26 +0000

Wow that is a deep topic. I don’t really know what to think about it. As far as relationships go, I really think that it has to come from both people equally. Initiative can come from either side nowadays and I am glad that I took the initiative to talk to my husband and tell him how I felt when we first met. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t know the amazing person that I am married to today. I think a lot of people are hesitant to pursue relationships because they’ve been hurt badly in the past or have seen others be hurt badly, but when it comes down to it, someone has to make the first move.

By: Meaghan

Meaghan — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 21:04:44 +0000

Saw that you are involved in non profits so I thought you might be interested in learning about ours, Spirit Jump

Stopping by from SITS to say hi & invite u to our Jewelry Giveaway. We are a small charity made up of many men/women/kids who send cards to those battling cancer.

Get in on our Giveaway and maybe even join our program:)We have many ways people can be involved… it’s such a fun project & helps others at the same time…can’t get better than that.

http://www.spiritjump.org

Thanks!!

By: Ronnica

Ronnica — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 14:44:39 +0000

Thank you, thank you, thank you for this discussion! I really think I must have the best readers…you’re so engaging!

@Iva: Yeah, it’s serious stuff…for both.

@Jenny: Other than Starbucks, that sounds good. We DO overanalyze things, don’t we? I’m not sure about the whoel chemistry thing…THAT’d be an interesting discussion to have.

@Crystal: They are hard to find, but they’re not extinct yet! Now I just sound like a hunter…

@Lady Fi: That’s true that many do. I didn’t, though I did. I’m ready to move on, but happy where I am, too.

@Jennifer: So true! I’m definitely not looking for the perfect man, but one who’s faults/quirks are ones I’m willing to handle. That said, it’d take quite the man to put up with mine!

@Elizabeth: I’m probably not as prepared as I think that I am…

@Lynda: “Stay the course – the intersection could be right in front of you.” I LOVE that.

@TRS: I do remember reading your post on the subject.

@Rachel: I do/don’t want that. While I would want to know him for a while before marriage (say a year before dating), I’d hate to think he was right there all along.

@Jacki: Yeah, I should factor in the intimidating factor. I really shouldn’t be, but I have a bit of a spiny exterior.

@Joy: Yes, the guys I know are grown-up and for the most part fully responsible adults. That is a problem though, with boys not being raised to become men.

@Blunt Delivery: I wouldn’t know (about relationships being overrated). I AM content by and large where I am, though.

@Cara: I know that if this happens, it will be in a way I wasn’t expecting it too. Things always do. I am working on being more friendly, especially if I’m potentially interested in a guy. Only makes sense.

Emma: Everywhere I’ve lived it’s been like that. I think that’s in part because we’ve feminized the church with emotional language and the like. I don’t by into the “God helps those who help themselves” argument, but I do believe in personal responsibility. God desires active waiting, not passive.

By: emmap

emmap — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 06:02:40 +0000

wow. you’ve sparked quite the conversation-starter here. Well, i don’t know about anyone else, but for some reason I have noticed in a few of the states I’ve lived in, that at church there are always more single “godly” women than single “godly” men. Of course, I’ve only really noticed this in the 35 and under crowd, since that’s the age group I fit in. But part of me wonders if the whole “men maturing” later has something to do with this. i dont know. but I DO believe that it is ok to ask a guy out. I want to be married. I want to love and be loved. And I know what I want in a man. I figure I can pray… but that God also helps those who help themselves. For me, I view “helping myself” as becoming my best-self and in some cases, initiating a conversation with a guy and if he DOESNT get my hints (placard or not) then I will ask if he wants to go out sometime. I was a nervous wreck each time… but it does get easier…