I think that most everything we do is to be done in balance. I’m always trying to walk the fence between legalism and lawlessness, work and rest, trusting in God’s sovereignty and taking responsibility for my part in the world.
As a single girl (I should probably say “lady” or “woman” but I like “girl” better), one such area of balance is in the pursuit (sorta) of a husband.
On one hand, I want to do everything I can do get him. I’d love to pursue the man I’m interested in whole-heartedly. If I thought it’d work, I’d reveal my interest to him and ask him what he wanted to do about it.
But on the other hand (cue the Randy Travis song in my head), I want to do absolutely nothing. Instead, I want to trust completely in God’s sovereignty, leaving no room for my work. If God has a husband for me, He’s perfectly capable of bringing Him into my life, creating interest in me, all at the proper time.
But really, my position lies somewhere in the middle. I want both, cake and all (actually this whole not-a-diet diet thing has cut out my interest in cake…but not ice cream). I want to reveal my interest (or at least my opennness) to him, opening the door for him to pursue me. I also want to trust in God’s sovereignty, knowing that missed chances don’t mean that I’m missing out on the life I’m supposed to have. Though it’s a topic for another day, I don’t believe in “The One.”
I definitely have fallen pretty far on both sides of the fence I’m walking…but I’ll keep on.
Photo by fotographix
Hmmm. I think it’s ok to show your interest in a guy if the opportunity presents itself. You don’t want to seem forward, but sometimes, guys are oblivious. This doesn’t mean he’s not the one for you or that he’s not interested. It just means I think a lot of times a guy will not approach a girl unless he thinks she’s interested because they’re just as afraid of rejection as girls are! Does that make sense? So maybe you could pray for opportunities to show your interest in this guy and just find out if the feelings are mutual! :-)
And I totally walk that line of balance too…sometimes I fall further to one side or the other…lots of times actually. It’s kind of like overcorrection in a car. when I find myself to far to one side, I tend to jerk further over to the other side than I should be.
This is such a tricky balance! Even books and opinions I’d consider invaluable in this arena are divided. I just read 5 Paths to the Love of Your Life, and I’d highly recommend it to you and/or a small group, because there are some great gems for discussion.
And I love that you use the term “girl.” That’s my preference too. Let me repeat, I’m convinced that if we lived nearer, we’d be good friends.
I wouldn’t advise taking yourself too out of the “hunt”. God helps those who help themselves (I’m taking liberties with the verse), and He’ll provide as long as you don’t expect Him to do all the work. At the same time, it may be His will that you remain single. If it’s not though, you have to be willing to look while waiting on God.
Does all that make sense or did I confuse you as I confused myself? I’ve gotta stop getting up so ding dang early. :)
As a semi-single gal (as in not-married but I have a boyfriend) I will definitely say that the line can sometimes be precarious. Way back when I was single, my current BF was one of my best friends. One of the things that helped me was getting involved. I took Salsa lessons and began going out with my friends from class (my current BF included). I joined Junior League, agreed to sponsor a club at work… the point is that I focused on my life and living it to the fullest…. and then I fell in love. Funny how that happens.
Anyway, to all us single gals *toast*!
Definitely a tricky balance, but as we continue to try to balance, I know God will be working it out. :)
Just so you know, if I hadn’t said hello to Grizzly first and asked him a question, our ships would have passed in the night cause it was NEVER gonna happen from his end. That was 23 years ago. I didn’t propose or anything but it gave him the opportunity to know I was alive. But I definitely know what you mean about walking that fine line between God’s sovereignty and our own involvement. I try to look at Biblical examples and find that God usually works through verbs as well as nouns. Rarely did he have an assignment for someone that didn’t involve action on their part. We definitely want God to lead us in our walk but we should be on wheels, not cement blocks. :)
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Elizabeth: I’m going to think through how I might do that…though I don’t know that I have the guts!
Bethany: The next best thing would be for you to blog, too!
Smoochiefrog: I always have at least one eye open. ;)
Camile: I am trying to live my life to the full. I’m doing things now that I never thought I’d do, both in ministry and in my personal life. But I love it…I don’t know how long I’ll be single, but I’m going to enjoy every minute I have!
Katy: Exactly. Is it ironic that I’m listening to Britney while I read these comments?
Robynn: I do try to talk to guys, really…