My Dream Wedding
Posted in Mixed Bag and tagged with Clothing, Family, Friends, Wedding on September 10, 2009A couple of weeks ago, Caity blogged about ideas for personal blogs. Being a personal blog writer, I took note of several of her ideas. One of her ideas was to write about your dream wedding. Perfect follow up to yesterday’s pursuit of marriage, no?
Of course, the downside is that if a perspective husband reads my blog this week, I might come off as desperate. Yet, yesterday’s post was the outworking of my inner wrestling, and today’s is just for fun. I don’t spend much time thinking about that day, but of course I talk about it with my girlfriends from time to time. I’ve also been thinking about it a bit more now that Riley and Amanda are tying the knot.
Given the fact that only one half of the couple in today’s simulation is known, absolutely nothing is set in stone (except for that half of the couple…I’m still planning MY dream wedding).
So here are my thoughts on how I’d want it to go down (in no particular order):
Groom: I have a few ideas, but I’ll keep them to myself.
Dress: Something flattering? I guess that shouldn’t be a question. I do want something flattering. I think my bridesmaid dress is flattering, so maybe something like that. Which, umm, I’ve never shown you a picture of. So something like this (Amanda…isn’t this kinda like the other dress that I tried on?). Not so much bead work, though.
Ring: I guess this would be figured out before the rest (well, except the groom!), but I’m kinda going out of order here, anyway. Yellow gold, with a solitary diamond, maybe round. Nothing fancy, and preferably not overly expensive. Something that looks like this.
Bridesmaids: If I got married today (uh, late notice, huh?) I would have 5 bridesmaids. Scratch that…I wouldn’t, because they wouldn’t be able to all make it in time for me to get married today! Regardless, I think they know who they are. They’re some great ladies!
Their dresses would probably be lilac, because I’m obsessed with that color right now. I always have liked periwinkle, so that’s a strong possibility as well. For sure, it wouldn’t be a shade of orange or red, but anything else could be fair game, theoretically (which this all is!).
Flowers: I LOVE flowers, but I’m not a fan of them off the plant, for whatever reason. Probably, I’d keep this simple. My favorites are tulips, but they’re so seasonal, so unless I time things right (and really, I’m not going to worry about this one!) I’d probably do something like single gerber daisies for my bridesmaids and a cluster of 3 for me. Ooh, I can picture that…that’d be kinda cool!
Shoes: I’d strongly consider going barefoot. I love heels, but I also love being barefoot. Maybe my bridesmaids as well…but definitely not any of the men. Men’s feet are ugly!
Location: in a church. Though a marriage is a marriage no matter where the wedding ceremony, I like the symbolism of doing it under God’s roof, so to speak. Though this would quite possibly be an issue with my family, I’d want to get married in my church, here in North Carolina. Though I still consider Kansas home in many ways, I want my wedding vows witnessed by those who I’m asking to help me keep them. I’m thinking my brother getting married closer to home may have paved the way for me to do this, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there…
Vows: Write our own. Not trying to buck tradition for tradition’s sake, but I think that the vows I’ve heard at several friends’ weddings were scriptural and poignant, not trite.
Engagement: Short, unless providentially hindered. Three-six months would be nice.
Reception: I always joke that I don’t want to go to mine, but will leave after the ceremony. I can’t imagine what the backlash would be on that, though! Seriously though, I’d go for more casual than elegant, more like a party than a ball. No dancing. No way. (and no, it’s not b/c I go to a Baptist church…it’s because I can’t/won’t. Except in the privacy of my bedroom. Or the kitchen, when my roommate’s not home.) Food would also be casual…snacky stuff, but lots of it.
Cost: As cheap as possible. I know this is easier said than done, but there are few areas where I wouldn’t be willing to skimp.
Attendees: all of you! (Well, except you, creepy dude, who just stumbled onto this!) Children would be welcome, for both the ceremony and reception, though I might have childcare available for the littlest ones during the ceremony so that my new-mom friends won’t have to excuse themselves halfway through. I don’t plan on it being very long, though!
So, since this is all hypothetical, you don’t have to hold your tongue about the tacky decorations or the rap music I walked down to the aisle to (no, I wouldn’t). Seriously what do you think? If you’re married, what’s one thing that you would have changed, if anything?
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September 10th, 2009 at 7:21 am
I will probably post a bunch on this later, but my first thought is this:
Props to you for a 3-6 month engagement period!
Twitter: MissusSmith
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September 10th, 2009 at 7:41 am
In a lot of ways, your dream things resemble my actual wedding, many years ago (15 in January, whoa!). Your picture of the engagement ring is *exactly* what my engagement ring is! :) We also did things simply; we had the reception at my younger sisters’ high school cafeteria (which was a lovely space – the room is shaped like a capital D and the curved wall is floor-ceiling windows). We were married in the winter, so we used poinsettias for centerpieces and borrowed a bunch of ficus trees from various friends and relations that we strung with clear, white Christmas lights and placed around the room. (I wanted the Christmasy-est wedding possible! :D ) My family did all the decorating for the reception, and we used the ladies of our church’s auxiliary to decorate the sanctuary.
We got engaged in April and were married the first Saturday of that following January, so our engagement was ………eight months and one week long.
One thing that I was very obsessed with – or that I took a LOT of care with – was choosing the music and readings for the wedding service. I have lots of musician friends, and asked them to play during the service, which was a nice way of including more people, as well as having some friends do readings.
Oh – one thing where we differed; my bridesmaids wore a shade of red. (Dark burgundy velvet dresses; it was a winter wedding after all!)
All in all, our wedding and reception (which we had wanted to be small, like 60 people, but being the first wedding in my family, my parents blew up the guest list hugely – they were footing the bill so it was their final say…) was 328 invited (told you it was huge – my dad’s mom was one of 13 kids so he has TONS of cousins that all got invited!) and 280 that attended. We had a sit-down dinner and dancing (a DJ) and it was a LOT of fun. And yes, we even did the “Chicken Dance” because it is one of my dad’s favorites! People of all ages were on the dance floor from the youngest kids (age 3) up through my great aunt and uncle, who were in their early 90s!
Ahhhh, weddings….. someday my kiddo will have hers, and I will try not to be as bossy about hers as my folks were about mine! :D
Twitter: MissusSmith
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September 10th, 2009 at 7:46 am
One other thing – we used primarily the traditional United Methodist wedding service wordings, except the traditional service starts with the pastor saying “Friends, we are gathered here today…” and I had my heart set on the pastor saying “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…” so I specifically requested that. Everyone looked at me like I was a bit nuts when I spoke up on that during the rehearsal, but I really, really wanted to hear “Dearly beloved” so the pastor said it. If I were doing it over again now, I think I’d be fine with “Friends” though, LOL!
Also, I wanted my dad to give me away, and that isn’t “done” as much in this day and age, so we had to tweak the wording of that part so my dad wound up saying “Her mother and I do” in response to “Who gives this woman to be married to this man?” which the pastors weren’t thrilled about saying. I guess it was a little too “old fashioned” for the 90s…
Okay, I’ll stop filling up your comments now! :D
Twitter: MissusSmith
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September 10th, 2009 at 7:48 am
Oh one last thing, meant to say my parents spent about $8,000 total on EVERYTHING from the service to the flowers to the limos to the reception to the honeymoon (which they gave us as a present). My wedding dress was “out of season” having been a style from the previous year, so I got it for just $320, and my parents paid for both of my sisters’ bridesmaid dresses too. Not too bad for that many people!
Really stopping the comments now – you know how wordy I am, but I do have to get Kiddo on the school bus! :D
September 10th, 2009 at 8:24 am
I LOVE the dress. My husband actually had a hand in picking mine out. I was wearing it for him as much for me so I didn’t mind him helping out.
3-6 months…not a whole lot of time to plan! But when you’ve got it all figured out before hand I’m sure it makes it easier. I was one of the few women who never planned out or thought about their wedding before the last minute decisions were having to be made. I will encourage my girls to at least think about options for their weddings so they’re not as clueless as I was… ha!
September 10th, 2009 at 8:29 am
FGD…I’ll make the mints.
September 10th, 2009 at 9:12 am
I forgot…I also think it would be cool to have a non-traditional ring. I love my birthstone (blue topaz) and think it would be neat to have a ring with it instead of a diamond! Maybe something like this without the cutsy heart thing going on there (gag me). http://applesofgold.com/SPR8097BT.html?SSAID=84402
Amanda: I know, don’t you wish that you had that about now?
Heather: I love that your comments are the standard length of one of my posts. =)
I probably wouldn’t want a Christmas wedding, for the mere fact that my birthday is near Christmas as well, and I’ve had Christmas-themed birthday parties. Then again, your birthday is around then too, so it obv. didn’t bother you!
Vicki: I don’t really feel the need to plan, even if I didn’t have an idea of what I want. I mean, I DO like to plan, but in the end, what matters is the fact that we’re getting married, not all the fluff that I talk about in this post.
September 10th, 2009 at 9:13 am
G. Zoe: Thanks. =)
September 10th, 2009 at 9:47 am
I love the idea of barefoot!!!!
September 10th, 2009 at 10:22 am
I want a wedding but I don’t want to be married! Can’t there be a single gal version of a day where everyone gets dressed up, gives you presents, and clebrates YOU?? Maybe that is the point of birthdays but it seems like no one makes a fuss of them anymore :(
September 10th, 2009 at 11:08 am
Camile: There is something like that in China, or at least there was. I don’t really want a wedding to be about ME, but I get your point!
September 10th, 2009 at 11:18 am
Fun ideas! I planned my wedding out probably half a dozen times, but when I started planning it with my fiance it’s all very different! I wanted to go barefoot, but he’s about a foot taller than I am, so I decided I’d stick with heels. I want to at least be close to his eye level!
Stopping by from SITS!
September 10th, 2009 at 11:59 am
I never had thought about what I wanted my wedding to be like and I was a bit overwhelmed. But I was a very casual bride. There are things I would definitely change now, and I LOVE throwing parties and paying attention to details now, so I wish I had been that way when I got married.
September 10th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
I always wanted to run away to the West Indies and get married in the sunset. In the end, I got married in The Royal Pavilion in Brighton in the UK and had a lovely party in my friends’ huge garden. (They also did all the catering and made a wonderful beach and sea cake!
September 10th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
I like you ideas.
I think the only thing I would change about my own wedding was the date. We got married in October and it was wonderful, but the original date I wanted was 1/1/00. No one else like the idea, but I loved it.
September 10th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
I love this, Ronnica. :) I can say there are many things I would do differently, but I was a different person 12 years ago. I was 24, I had different tastes, all my friends were getting married at the same time and I was picking and choosing from things they had done. So while I might do it differently TODAY, I cannot imagine doing it differently back then. Our wedding was great and it served its purpose–we got married! (although I still hold to my opinion that the fun factor at weddings is way higher as a bridesmaid than as a bride…well, except the fact that as a bride you get to go home with the groom!!). I liked lilac, too, but my love for my bridesmaids caused me to choose a darker purple. I paid for my wedding dress, veil, crinoline, etc. (back when Belks had a bridal dept!!)–about $600 total. I paid for the invitations, the photography (admittedly the most expensive part…and I wish I had had an Angey Price back then!), the napkins, etc. A friend of my dad’s that I did not even know offered to make my cake. The reception was at the Elks Lodge where my dad is a member. We got the reception hall for free in trade for some painting work my dad did for them, so he only had to pay for the food (finger food…not heavy, not light). I’d say altogether I paid about $2500 for my part, and my dad picked up $700-$1000. It was a nice, pretty, but cost-effective wedding! The one thing I wish I could have had was a sit-down dinner and a DJ. Only because that tends to get people to stay longer and enjoy your day with you. But I did not want to go into debt for it and we were fine without it. I also wish I knew how to handle my MIL with more grace and dignity back then, but hey-you win some, you lose some. ;o) Sorry for the book…
September 10th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Forgot to add! My coworker’s hubby worked at a florist and he gifted us the corsages and men’s flowers (will not even attempt to spell the official name for those!). Another coworker made silk flower (aka fake!) boquets for my bridesmaids and me. They were lovely, and she only charged me for materials. Think about how many people you know with fabulous talents you can tap into that will cost you less than the average!
September 10th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
I would have relaxed. I would have realized late flowers are not the end of the world. I would have tried to be more present – though that’s REALLY hard. I would have invited more people I liked and less people I HAD to, though THAT’s easier said than done. Your wedding sounds lovely. I hope Mr. Right turns up soon!
September 10th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
I love that Vicki’s husband helped her pick out the dress because it’s as much for him as for her. That’s really cool!
I had to laugh when you excluded creepy guy from your attendees.
Sounds like you know what you want! :)
September 10th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
You have to have dancing! We had dancing – lots of it. Crazy silly dancing – singing too (karaoke). Party all night long. Way fun.
September 10th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
The main thing I’d change if we got married again is the guest list. In the past almost 17 years we’ve made lots more close friends that I really wish could have been part of our big day.
Also, while I don’t regret inviting any of the guests that were there at the time, there are certainly many that have, through various reasons, drifted out of our lives.
September 10th, 2009 at 9:24 pm
What’s great about your wedding is that it is YOUR day and you can make it whatever you want. My wedding was exactly what I always dreamed it would be, pretty much down to the nitty gritty. I spent plenty of time dreaming about it beforehand, too. Long before I met my groom, in fact. Not a thing wrong with that.
September 10th, 2009 at 10:43 pm
Sounds like a very pretty wedding!
What would I change about mine? Not the groom! :) Since my color choices have changed a lot over time I would definitely pick different colors, plus I don’t really have any idea what flowers were in my bouquet. Since we got married when we were 19 y.o. between our freshman and sophomore years of college, our wedding cost very little money by necessity.
I love your idea of gerbera daisies, and I would pick fuschia and orange ones as my color choice now. I would have that as a band around my dress maybe, which would be very simple with no beading probably. Maybe even an empire waistline.
I think I would also write out some or all of the ceremony/vows, and also pick different music. My cousin walked down the aisle to a beautiful instrumental version of ‘Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee’ instead of the traditional wedding march and it was just beautiful.
September 10th, 2009 at 11:38 pm
My thoughts:
1. Grooms come in handy. At least mine is. He’s been an absolute godsend!
2. Dress–purty! I swore up and down I’d never get a strapless wedding gown…here I am staring at one. Go fig.
3. Ring: I wouldn’t trade mine for anything, especially since I didn’t think I’d even be getting one. When we talked about getting engaged, I “said” I didn’t want a ring (reality: I did), and Riley is a little on the cheap side, so I thought one wasn’t coming. I’m thrilled to have a beautiful white gold ring!
4. Bridesmaids: ooo ooo pick me!
5. Flowers: are expensive.
6. Location: Good call on the church, but you had better hope that when you get married your sister in law isn’t nine months pregnant. Then she AND your brother would not be able to go, and instead would be looking up “labor poetry.”
7. Vows: I wanted to write our own, but we aren’t for two reasons. One, the vows we write wouldn’t do justice to what we are wanting to promise each other, and two, there’s something awesome about repeating the same words countless other couples have used.
8. Engagement: Short engagements are ideal, but not always practical. I cannot imagine planning a shindig in less than a year. Wouldn’t happen.
9. Reception: I’m really balking at dancing, too. Riley’s insistent, however. Thus, we will have a first dance.
10. Cost: We are managing to do ours for under 5 grand. That’s a feat in and of itself.
11. Attendees: Plan on about a bajillion more people than you thought. If you want a “small intimate affair”, elope. That’s what we wanted…our guest list now tops over 400.
Go fig. Weddings are such a contradiction: they stink to put on, but you can’t wait for them to happen!
September 11th, 2009 at 12:03 am
That sounds simple and sweet–the kind of wedding people will walk away from saying, “Those two did it RIGHT!” I think any groom would be lucky to fit into this dream!
September 12th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
Sounds like you have put a lot of thought into this–that’s a GOOD thing! Just give us enough time to get our dresses and get our nails done!
September 14th, 2009 at 10:19 pm
Meant to also say I love that you want yellow gold for your ring. That is what I have and you don’t see it on new brides much anymore. :)
September 15th, 2009 at 12:40 am
I’ll consider myself invited!
September 15th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
I’m not offended that you won’t invite me. One less girly, romance-and-roses event to attend. ;)
On the 3-6 month engagement period: I think I would want a long engagement, preceded by a long dating period/courtship, preceded by a long friendship (and all followed by a long marriage). The way I see it, every phase has its own advantages, and I would want to fully enjoy each step in the process. A long engagement would allow me and Miss Perfect to continue to hang out, have fun, learn each other, work on the things we need to work on, and prepare for married life, but without the stress of wondering whether he-will-ask/she-will-say-yes or how to afford the wedding/married life and so on. Being young and single, but engaged, is something most people will only go through once.
However, it seems that most girls are usually a lot more rushed about tying the knot than the guys. I’m not sure if this is the whole biological-clock thing, or a result of the female fixation with weddings, or if I’m just misreading the situation.
And for the record, I’m not really that creepy. Just a friend of a friend of a friend that followed blog links to get here. I just don’t feel like working on work right now…
September 15th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
Creepy Dude (can I call you CD?): You have a good point, but I still like the idea of a short engagement. If I know I’m going to marry him, I don’t see why I would want to put it off, assuming we had already started putting our ducks in a row prior to engagement. (And yes, the biological-clock thing might have something to do with it.)
January 13th, 2010 at 12:27 am
[...] obvious reasons, I’ve been thinking about weddings a lot. Not about my own dream wedding, but about making that type of commitment to one man, for the rest of my [...]