Why Edward is Not My Dream Man
Posted in Entertainment and tagged with Boys, Lists, Reading, Twilight on December 3, 2009Okay, forgive me. If you’re a Twilighter, you won’t like this post as I’ll be dissing Edward. If you’re not a Twilighter, then you won’t like this post because I’m going to talk about Twilight. So basically, you have to have the exact same opinion as me (And why wouldn’t you if you have been reading my blog, right? I’m incredibly persuasive.) to enjoy this post.
I do realize that this post is at least a few weeks late, if not years. Still, I wrote it now. Actually, I’m rather pleased that I wrote anything “real” this week at all.
I read Twilight a couple of months ago after the umpteenth suggestion. Didn’t hate it, but didn’t like it, either. Over Thanksgiving break, I significantly miscalculated the number of books I’d need (I guessed 3, but 2 were youth books, so bad call) so I needed something to read. Knowing my mom had New Moon, I thought I might as well continue the series.
After reading these two tomes, I still don’t get what it is about Edward that people like. At all. In the interest of full disclosure, my ideal man-in-a-book/movie is Edmund in Mansfield Park (the movie, not necessarily the book).
9 Reasons Why I Couldn’t Like Edward
1. He’s pale as all get out. Sure, being pale isn’t necessarily a bad thing (though I must admit I like my guys darker), but I don’t see how it’s a good thing, either.
2. He’s a stalker. Sure, Bella eventually gave permission for Edward to watch her all-night (like that isn’t creepy itself), but he did it before without asking.
3. He sparkles. If someone is going to sparkle in a relationship, it better be me.
4. He’s mopey. Sure, we all can be sometimes, but he seems to be too much (Bella, you too).
5. He’s hard. How is that cuddly?
6. He doesn’t bother to check his facts before making a big decision (killing himself).
7. He likes Bella ’cause she smells good. That isn’t shallow…
8. Other than these things, what else do we know about him?
9. And then there’s something about being non-human…what was that again?
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December 3rd, 2009 at 12:31 am
Lol you are so right! I need to reread the books with this perspective now!
December 3rd, 2009 at 12:45 am
What else do we know about him? We know he’s HAWT, that’s what! lol, but I like my men sans sparkles, I’m quite pale so I can’t judge that-can’t be helped, and he’s not HARD so much as he’s STRONG. teehee. j/k I did happen to like the books. The first movie wasn’t all that great, second was better but dragged and just didn’t move fast enough for me. But I can’t hate the books or the movie..I was hooked. And I might have giggled out loud the first shot of Edward in New Moon. I know! I can’t believe I did that!
December 3rd, 2009 at 1:25 am
=D
December 3rd, 2009 at 1:37 am
I am so old it embarrasses me to admit that I dig him. Jacob too.
But I am a sucker for romance.
December 3rd, 2009 at 7:18 am
I am a HUGE Twilight Fan, but I agree with you, Edward is too much. I don’t like the obsessive/over-protective relationship between Edward and Bella. I do LOVE the Jacob character though. So, see a Twihard did not fall apart at your review/critique of Edward and actually agreed (except for the sparkly part….I like that twist.)
Cheers, Lisa
December 3rd, 2009 at 7:21 am
I don’t like Twilight but I loved this post haha.
December 3rd, 2009 at 7:22 am
WAIT…he KILLS himself???
December 3rd, 2009 at 7:23 am
I read all of the books and never once thought, “Hey, that Edward’s quite a catch.” If anything I was always Team Jacob. Now having seen the movies, I am even more un-Edward. Robert Pattinson is just NOT that good looking. I don’t get it.
December 3rd, 2009 at 8:20 am
I like Twilight but I still enjoyed your post immensely and actually cracked up over:
“He sparkles. If someone is going to sparkle in a relationship, it better be me.”
Too funny.
December 3rd, 2009 at 8:23 am
The one thing I liked about Edward was the whole idea that there was this inexplicable attraction that couldn’t be explained. But in reality the entire relationship is obsessive to a point of unhealthy self-destructive behaviour. Jacob would be a much healthier more nurturing relationship if Bella would just come out from under Edward’s spell.
December 3rd, 2009 at 8:30 am
I could really date myself and say “Who is Edward”…I do know…I just don’t care for that kind of stuff.
December 3rd, 2009 at 9:29 am
RhondaLue: I don’t know about his hotness factor (Meyer didn’t describe in a way that I’d think was hot, though Bella says that over and over again), but I will concede the strength. I forgot that one…it’s now 9 to 1.
Jennifer: Yeah, me and romance don’t get along. Just makes me gag.
LisaB: I do like Jacob!
Amanda: No, he doesn’t kill himself, he just plans to. His plan is thwarted when Bella reveals that she is in fact alive. It’s all Romeo and Juliet-esque, sorta.
Cara: Exactly. He’s not bad looking, but not great, either. Especially with the makeup they use for the movie.
December 3rd, 2009 at 10:59 am
all of your points are valid, but since when do people make lists before falling in love?
and i agree with others, it is romance, very romeo and juliet, it is not supposed to be logical. love is irrational.
and while i love the series, the writing is not incredible. but it is a lovely story, so that is why i love it.
December 3rd, 2009 at 11:56 am
Very funny! I’ve read Twilight but didn’ think it was good enough to go out and buy the others. I like the fact that he is sparkles – makes more sense than not being able to be outside at all in the sunlight.
December 3rd, 2009 at 5:45 pm
So glad you write this! I sort of hate “Twilight”. Not the books per se, but the hype around them. The twihards are just annoying. I don’t remember Harry Potter fans every acting like they do. And I totally agree, Edward could never be for me!
December 3rd, 2009 at 6:05 pm
Well, the guy who plays Edward is still HOTT…I’ll happily look at the “menu”…I do go for paler guys…
December 3rd, 2009 at 11:20 pm
I totally love Edward…in the books and the movies…but now I’m rethinking my judgment on this one? =) You make some convincing arguments.
December 4th, 2009 at 11:28 am
Love your points! lol My only major transgression is Edward, imo, has the precursors and trademarks for an abusive/territorial relationship. It’s certainly not the fantasy relationship I want my children to dream of.
December 4th, 2009 at 11:58 pm
Haha but you forgot to list all of the good things about Edward. Anytime you look for flaws, you’re going to find them. Just kidding, everyone has their own tastes in fictional characters :)
December 5th, 2009 at 8:08 am
Britni: ALL the good things? When I was making this list, I couldn’t think of ANY. RhondaLue reminded me of his strength, and just now I thought of his self-control. That’s all I can think of!
March 18th, 2010 at 12:17 pm
i love twilight. the books are way better but the movies are not that bad either. but i really hate the character of edward. he really is a stalker, he’s over-protective and veeeeery jealous. jacob black is especially on the new moon movie veeeery hot and i think a perfect guy.