The Cheeses Stand Alone
Posted in Solo Historian and tagged with Friends, Loneliness, Roommate, Singleness, Wedding on January 13, 2010
For obvious reasons, I’ve been thinking about weddings a lot. Not about my own dream wedding, but about making that type of commitment to one man, for the rest of my life.
A former roommate (and current blog reader), Cindy, would have phrase she’d say when she’d come home from yet another of her friends’ weddings. “The cheese stands alone.” You know, from “Farmer in the Dell?” Everyone else gets picked, but the cheese stands alone.
As much as there is joy and happiness in seeing a good friend get married, there is some loneliness in being left behind. We’re social creatures, and I believe that we’re designed for marriage. That desire within me is good and right…as long as marriage stays in its place, not taking the throne of my heart.
I often say that I’m okay with being single, as long as I’m not the only one. When I take the time to count my blessings instead of crying over my losses, I do realize that I have a sweet life now. Many of my favorite things about my life would be changed if I were no longer single. It seems like I have to remind myself over and over to enjoy them now while I have them.
But yet part of me worries about being the last one married (or never married at all). What if all my friends get married? They all want to be married, so of course I want that for them as well. But selfishly, I want at least a couple of them to stay unmarried at least for as long as I am.
As my roommate rode with me on our way back from Georgia and heard me tell the story of what Cindy would say. Her response?
“The cheeseS stand alone.”
Indeed. Why do I worry about the possibility of being the only one of my friends still single? That’s not where God has me yet, and may never have me. And if that’s where He wants me, He’ll give me the grace to endure it.
So maybe the cheese doesn’t stand alone after all.
Photo by orangeacid
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January 13th, 2010 at 3:26 am
and sometimes the cheese runs off with the farmer, and realizes (after the farmer runs off with the nurse) that the farmer is a joke. then the cheese just feels rotten and used and betrayed… and used and moldy. i hate being moldy cheese. so – go and enjoy those things!!! I don’t really listen or watch Dr Phil, but i do remember once he said it is better to be healthy (including mentally, spiritually, physically) and single than to be “sick” and married. I learned this the hard way – during and after a toxic relationship. I never got married to get divorced. Unfortunately, my former spouse lost sight of our vows, his devotion and he allowed Satan’s grasp to take hold. Sad, really. So… here’s to being CHEESY!!! :)
January 13th, 2010 at 7:19 am
The cheese gets to read to her hearts content as well. I’m realizing that there’s no way I’m going to be able to read as much as I want to this year. There are just too many other things demanding my attention. And I pray, that if you stop being cheesy that he reads as much as you do :)
January 13th, 2010 at 7:53 am
I know it is easy for the married lady to say, but I am happy that you are realizing there is goodness in your life to enjoy now. Would that be contentment?
January 13th, 2010 at 9:09 am
Ahhhh. Good post, Ronnica. Good post. P.S. I agree with the comment about reading until your heart’s content. Do it NOW! :)
January 13th, 2010 at 9:13 am
Oh my, could I comment on this…I was also/am a cheesey person. How do I put this correctly. I have never been happier than I have in the last part of my life..from 42 on…I got to do things I never dreamed of…gone places…and all this was not only after I was alone…also after I accepted the LORD. You can be married and be very, very lonely. The LORD is always with me…so thankful for that. Let’s hear it for the CHEESES…
January 13th, 2010 at 9:55 am
Ugh I totally get you. Nearly all my friends are married and I fear I may never find someone! I guess we all do things in our own time so we just have to remember to be patient.
January 13th, 2010 at 11:16 am
I’m sure you are aware of the fact that there are many married women out there who are envious of the life you lead now. For example, as a couple of people have already mentioned: enjoy the reading you get to do right now. I have to squeeze in writing/reading time right now…maybe that will change after the wedding…and maybe it won’t…
One of my aunts has never gotten married and is in her mid-fifties. Her remark has always been this: “Sure, sometimes I’m lonely and wish I had someone to share my life with. But then I realize I’d have to share EVERYTHING with that person, including my time. There’s no way I could vaccuum at 3am when I can’t sleep if I were married!” Did I mention she’s a neat freak as well? Haha…hang in there m’dear. Sounds like you’re doing just fine.
January 13th, 2010 at 1:47 pm
You are so right. You don’t have to be married to be happy. The problem is that we innately want to be part of the crowd – whatever that entails.
January 13th, 2010 at 11:09 pm
“The Cheese stands alone”… that’s is a fun way to describe being single. It sounds sassy.