Ignorant Historian

Several times lately my commute to work has been hampered, thanks to immigrants hanging out in the road.

I didn’t stop and ask them, but you can just tell they snuck over the border illegally.

I don’t know what they’re thinking.  I mean, I know they’re coming here for a better life, but I don’t think that the better life is found on the side of the road (or worse, in it).  My tax dollars pay for those roads, is it too much to expect to be able to use them?  What have they done to help this country?

Oh, well, I guess I just have to deal with them.  All attempts at communication have been met with blank stares and unintelligible bellowing.

Oh yeah, did I mention I’m talking about Canada geese?

*Obviously, this photo was not taking here in Raleigh, NC.  It’s dangerous to try to take a picture and drive (especially with geese in the road)!  They do like to hang out on the exit ramp I take for work.

*Xenophobia is no joke.  I hope no one was offended by this post.

Photo by Fujin

Snippets from posts about the summer I moved from Oklahoma to North Carolina:

Saturday, July 16, 2005

I went to the mall today and actually ran into people I know.  I wasn’t expecting to do that this quickly!

Tuesday, July 25, 2005

I need to lay off the Pepper. I don’t feel good after drinking it…but it tastes so good!

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

I’m excited for classes to get started. Can I start this Thursday instead of next Thursday?

[And now, the story you want to hear:]

Friday, August 12, 2005

Sorry I’ve been posting so much recently, but this story I really can’t pass up. I don’t want to draw attention away from the more serious elements of my blog (wherever they exist) but I really got a kick out of this. One fact that might help you understand the story is that I really don’t like being around animals of any kind, though in high school I did do nature events where we had to identify different species and stuff.

Yesterday, as I was going out to my car (I park in a parking garage) from a glance at a distance I saw something in front of my car. I thought, “great, a cat. I don’t like cats.” Well, it wasn’t a cat. Guess what it was? When I asked that to a couple of friends, I got various responses including a beaver and a dead body, both wrong. A turtle! Okay, so that’s not that exciting necessarily, but this was a particularly clever turtle, and rather large too, about 10 inches in diameter.

So, as I contemplated this turtle, I thought about what turtles are known for: their cowardice. Okay, so if I start backing out, the turtle is just going to go inside his shell, so if I can just stradle him with my tires, I’ll be okay. Not that big of a problem, since he was about halfway between the tires. So I back up just enough to where he would almost be under my car, and got out to look to make sure that he didn’t move to where I would run over him. Like a turtle, he hadn’t moved. Well, I just didn’t feel comfortable with trying not to hit that little sucker, so I decided to try to move him. “Be brave, Ronnica!” I thought. So I tried to grab the turtle to move him to safer spot with my bare hand. I wasn’t about to touch him anywhere except on his shell, but with one hand I couldn’t lift him like that because he was too big. However, I did scare him so he started running away (pretty fast for a turtle)…right under my car. He’s smart too, he went right in the middle where I couldn’t get him and couldn’t scare him out the front (which I can only assume he thought I planned on eating him: turtle soup anyone?). So, knowing that he now was deathly afraid of me I got in my car quickly (in case my moves turned him into a fighter) and drove out of the parking space successfully without the slightest crunch.

1.  Are there any animals you refuse to touch?

I’ll touch anything, assuming a trainer is holding it, blah, blah, blah.  But will I hold any animals? Not really (the occasional small dog or cat, sure).

2.  Would you like to know the precise date of your future death?

Yes, I would.  But as soon as you told me, I wouldn’t.  The building anticipation in the years, months, and weeks before that date would be awful.

3.  What is made for kids but you love it anyway?

Lip Smacker lip gloss.  Hopelessly addicted to them.  Go through a “party pack” every couple of months.

4.  Ever been addicted to a video/computer game? Which one(s)?

Only once.  Sims 2, senior year of college.  After playing it more and more over a couple of months at the end of my first semester, I realized I had to give it up.  Thankfully, it was a friend’s game on her computer, so I didn’t have easy access to it.  I think I really liked it because I got to control a world.  It was basically the techie version of what I did as a child: make up names, ages, traits, etc of my many imaginary children.

5.  __ is life. The rest is just details. Fill in the blank.

Jesus.

You know, I’ve never been under the influence of alcohol or drugs, but I think that this might be what it feels like. Getting 241 comments in one day is so heady!

So, I thought I’d give you the tallies as to the verdicts in the cases Mikey vs. Ronnica and Ronnica vs. The Bubble Dude. The frog has yet to file suit.

In the case of Mikey vs. Ronnica, the jury of my peers (that’d be you all) believed me to be in the right by a vote of 39 to 6. Twenty-seven people abstained and just told me how funny I am. I’m cool with that, too. =)

A few of the post-trial jury interviews revealed the true feelings of the jurors:

“This is the ghost of Mikey and it’s NOT okay!!” – Mrs. Mouthy

Whoa, whoa. Who let a ghost on the jury? Particularly of his own case?

“And this is Mikey’s Mom and I AM GOING TO COME AND GET YOU!!!! That is the way it is with us bugs, we stick together!!” – Felicia Eis

Who SCREENED this jury???

“I will think twice before killing a spider next time. I cant get the picture of that little guy holding on for dear life before finally losing his grip. Poor thing!” – Never a Dull Moment

But he crossed the LINE!

“You were nice enough to let hime live for a while in your corner! I could not have done that.” – Kelly Deneen

That’s what I’m talking about.

“I’ve had extra company in the shower before, he and Mikey must be cut from the same egg sac.” – Becky

Ah, sympathy. Or maybe this is a conspiracy?

“I hope you didn’t hit a nerve with Mr. Spider…or shall I say a “spider vein”?” - Emma

I’m sure I did.

“You aren’t alone. I’m afraid I would have done the same thing. I pay the mortgage and don’t tolerate intruders.” – Peggy

Yeah! I don’t see him chipping in his share of the rent. Moving on…

——————————————————————————–

In the case of Ronnica vs. The Bubble Dude, the jury of my peers found The Bubble Dude to be off his rocker by a vote of 26 to 21. Four jurors were out blowing bubbles themselves and forgot to weigh in.

Our interviews with the jurors revealed the tension of the close decision:

“That is a little odd… but bubbles do make everyone happy – right?” – Kimmie0270

But does that make it right? Should somethings be done in the privacy of your own home?

“My mom used to carry the phone reciever, complete with cord, in her purse. (this was before cell phones!) At stop lights she would “answer” it and tell the person next to her “its for you” while stretching phone..cord and all…out of the window. Some people are just trying to share smiles!” - Never A Dull Moment

That explains your blog title!

“There’s no accounting for guys ~ they are a very strange species, indeed! Maybe the bubble-blower just felt a little quirky that day? :)” - Bebe

“Hmmm. There must be something wrong with me. That actually sounds like fun. In fact, as I read it, I started thinking that I needed to get some bubbles in my car, too. I may still… but really it’s for fun not for freak. I promise.” – Michelle

Maybe the Bubble Dude is really a girl?

“My first thought was drugs.Then flirting.Then maybe I was thinking he is just trying to quit smoking. Maybe he needs to replace his smoking with something else. hehe!” – Kelly Deneen

That’s a reasonable explanation, I suppose. It is NC. Everyone is quitting smoking.

“With people pointing guns at one another in traffic, I’d say bubbles are a welcomed change. If he tried to get out of his car though, I would’ve gunned it.” - Mrs. Bear

Gunned it? Or gunned him? Maybe there needs to be another trial…

“Maybe he is a professional clown and was heading to a party and needed to warm up his bubble blowing muscles!! :)” – Michelle

I need to stretch my bubble-blowing muscles right now…

“I used to drive around wearing a duck bill, blowing bubbles…” - Hot Tub Lizzy

No WONDER he got sympathy from the jury. It’s made up of a bunch of crazies! =)

“I remember reading once that thugs tend to avoid crazy people themselves, though, so you might want to go get your own bottle of bubbles…” – Mrs. Mouthy

Ah, good point, good point. Let me put that on my grocery list.

“There is that fine line. Between good old fashioned fun. And creepy.”There is that fine line. Between good old fashioned fun. And creepy.“ – Kat

I think that’s what we’ve shown here today. Have a good weekend, everyone!

Sunday’s sermon was out of the end of Hebrews 11. Certainly not a fluffy message, but neither is the gospel.

“Women received back their dead by resurrection; and others were tortured, not accepting their release, so that they might obtain a better resurrection; and others experienced mockings and scourgings, yes, also chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were tempted, they were put to death with the sword; they went about in sheepskins, in goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, ill-treated (men of whom the world was not worthy), wandering in deserts and mountains and caves and holes in the ground. And all these, having gained approval through their faith, did not receive what was promised, because God had provided something better for us, so that apart from us they would not be made perfect.” – Hebrews 11:35-40, NASU

Though this was written over 1900 years ago, these things are still happening to Christians throughout the world today. Can I be frank enough to admit my first thought was to condemn liberals as hypocrites? They fight for the “rights” to homosexual marriage, abortion, and equal treatment of animals, yet they aren’t fighting for the rights of these people to live and practice their faith without persecution.

Then God gently reminded me that I’m a hypocrite too. What do I do on behalf of these people?
Honestly, the persecuted church isn’t something I think about very much. Who wants to be reminded of the horrors done to others when they can live their comfortable life in ignorance?

There’s not a lot that I can do to these people that suffer. Oh, but the most important thing: pray. I need to pray for those that are put through torture, imprisonment, and more. I can pray that God will provide them with the strength and perseverence that they most desperately need to live, and may their lives be a witness to the truthfulness of their message.

Most of all, Lord, come quickly.

Is it already that time again? At this rate, the semester is going to blow right past me! I can’t figure out if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

Today I’m going to go back to 4th grade. Seems reasonable enough. I think my biggest memory from that year was my teacher’s love of whales (aside from all the trolls the teacher next door had. They lined the top of the cabinets throughout the rooms. Oh trolls, where have you been?). For a good chunk of the year (what seemed like all year), our “science” lesson consisted of watching videos about whales and coloring a book about whales. I remember one series of vidoes was not so much about the whales themselves but a sort of story about the marine biologists themselves.

I had to do a project in that class where I recorded all the TV I watched in a week. Aside from watching Beauty and the Beast one night with my family, the only thing I watched was videos at school. I watched more movies in class than out of class! That is just sad.

The funny thing is, I think this is where my dislike of large underwater animals comes from. When we were in Florida last summer, I told my dad I’d be okay with snorkeling, as long as it wasn’t with any creatures larger than I am. So no manatees, no dolphins. Certainly no sharks, but I doubt that was an option. It’s not that I think that these animals will do me any harm–I’m smarter than that–but they still creep me out when I see them under the water.

Watching videos like the ones that we watched back in 4th grade creeps me out. Those PacificLife commercials with the humpback whales? I don’t like the shots with the whales underwater (incidently, seeing the whales out of the water was my favorite part of my San Francisco trip this summer). I think videos of killer whales are the hardest to watch.

Anyone care to analyze why this bugs me? I think it might have something to do with how powerful these creatures are. Out of the water they aren’t any more powerful than I am, but they’re quite mighty in that water, their territory.

Other school day memories:

Kindergarten and First Grade: Kisses and Skunks
3rd grade: Childhood Games and Railroad Ties Don’t Mix (posted a while back, but one of my favorite memories)
7th Grade: Teacher Review
8th Grade: 100 Marble Pick Up
College Senior Year: Why Procrastination Might Not Be My Thing