Tag Archives: Boys

I Am Both Sisters

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I don’t think it’s a secret that I like a good Jane Austen book or movie. The other day, I was in the mood, so I popped in Sense and Sensibility (you know, the one with Hugh Grant).

Sense and Sensibility is both my favorite Jane Austen book and my favorite movie. I love Pride and Prejudice along with the best of us, but Sense and Sensibility resonates more with me, because I relate to both of the sisters.

I’m a lot like Elinor, the put-together, sensible, putting-others-first rock of the family. To those who don’t know me well, I can come across as stoic or unfeeling. I tend towards order and routine and tend to shy away from spontaneity and anything that upsets my order for things.

But I also am a lot like Marianne. I can be flighty and overly emotional. I cry quicker than anyone I know (though I still blame it on a physical abnormality…doncha know I have overactive tear ducts?). I have thought my world was falling apart when a suitor hasn’t appeared. I have interpreted my interactions with a man to make them into something they weren’t.

You see, I’m both sisters. I can be both sensible and overcome by sensibility.

And for the record, Colonel Brandon is by far my favorite of the Jane Austen’s heroes. A man who doesn’t arrogantly assume you think he’s all that, prefers you to be happy than to be with him (as much as it pains him), and is willing to quietly serve in whatever way possible? Yes, please!

With Prince Charming or Not

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One conversation from yesterday was special enough (in more than one sense) that it deserved its own post. I’m going to narrate it, as it just suits the story better.

A young girl I’ll call Maggie pulls out one of her Barbies. It’s one of the Disney Prince Charmings–a Prince Charming that has clearly been passed through the hands of most–if not all–of the 4 girls as he is balding (his black hair rubbed off near his forehead), missing a leg, and without his princely garments.

Maggie gives Prince Charming to me. “Here you go.”

“Uhh, thanks. Actually, I have been looking for a Prince Charming.”

“You wouldn’t care that he doesn’t have one of his legs?” Maggie asks, genuinely surprised.

“No, that wouldn’t bother me,” I respond truthfully.

“And naked?” she responds in disgust.

“Well, not until the wedding.”

I ask Maggie where my real prince charming is. She and her sisters proceed to offer up all the “available” men they can think of: several teenagers, a few married men, and their brother (I politely tell him that he can look me up in 20 years, causing him to blush).

When their list of eligible men was exhausted, I ask Maggie to look me in the eyes.

In a serious tone I tell her, “I do hope to get married some day, but even if I never do, I will continue to live each day happy.”

Her shock was obvious. At 6, she already is so ready to get married. “But that means you can’t have children!”

I fight back tears as I whisper, “I know.”

But her brain didn’t stop there, just like mine doesn’t. She delightfully gives her conclusion, “But if you had kids, you couldn’t watch us!”

I give Maggie a big hug. Yes, Maggie, I know.

FQF: Freedom and Growth

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1.  What is your favorite Bill of Rights right?

Freedom of religion.  Though I’m quite fond of the whole of the first amendment…thankful that I can believe what I believe, practice what I practice, and share it with others.

2.  If you could host a Reality TV show, which one would it be?

The Amazing Race would be cool because it’d be fun to go all the places they go without the stress of the race.  Plus, with all that traveling would come a lot of time to read! (Now the real reason I like to travel comes out…)

3. How would you describe your taste in the opposite sex?

Besides the obvious (that I’m looking for godly, single man), I’d definitely say I’m attracted to the nerdier type and guys that can make me laugh.  I want to be able to have intelligent discussions AND have fun.  I’m not picky physically, though I do tend to be intimidated by taller men.

4. What is your policy on book lending?

I love to do it.  While I’d like to say that I’ve gotten back every book I’ve lent, that’s not the case.  But I’ve been blessed with books, and if they’re good, I want to share!  If it’s not good, then I won’t even keep them.

5. In what way are you better than you were six months ago?

I’m stronger, I know.  I can swim longer than I have in years and faster than I ever have.  (The other day I was the fastest one in the pool, though that’s not saying much…there were only 5 others there, all older than me.)  I hope I’m godlier as well, but I feel like I have further to go than ever.

That Second One Really Gets Me

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“You don’t want to give God the credit because you don’t think he exists.  But if you’re going to blame him for all the crap, kid, you got to give him credit for what grows from the fertilized soil.” – Shadow of the Giant by Orson Scott Card, p. 342

“It’s essential that you spend time reading and studying the Bible.  Trouble is, that advice sounds a lot like ‘Eat less and get more exercise.’ In one ear and out the other.  The difference is that fitness is good for life; God’s word is life.” – Get Married by Candice Watters, p. 73

“Will meeting God be like that?  Will I be disappointed with the real thing, because I prefer the substitute I made do with?” – Shadow of the Giant by Orson Scott Card, p. 341

“Consequence management.  That’s how we view sex – it’s why there’s so much emphasis on avoiding pregnancy and preventing STDs.  But condoms can’t protect your heart.” – Get Married by Candice Watters, p. 129

“Our friendship was delicate, like a bubble, and I was afraid it would pop if I asked the wrong question.  Where is this going? definitely felt like the wrong question.” – How to Say Goodbye in Robot by Natalie Standiford, p. 101

“Sometimes I feel doomed [because I'm single] to be less godly, less sanctified and vulnerable to the auto mechanic.” – Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? by Carolyn McCulley

“Men report that the number one reason they are choosing to marry later, if at all, is that sex without commitment is so widely available.” – Girls Gone Mild by Wendy Shalit, p. 15

“I’m willing to be obedient, as long as you order me to do what I was going to do anyway.” – Shadow of the Giant by Orson Scott Card, p. 345

“When plan B gets all the attention, it becomes plan A.”  - Get Married by Candice Watters, p. 139

“Any God worth believing in could make up a better plan than the mess the world was in now.” – Shadow of the Giant by Orson Scott Card, p. 39

That Last One’s a Thinker

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1.  How do you eat an Oreo?

I pull it apart, and eat the cookie with the least amount of icing on it first.  Then I lick off the icing, and eat the other cookie.  And repeat, of course.

2.  What turns you off about the opposite sex?

Unteachableness.  I don’t like a guy who always thinks he’s right and has nothing to learn. (And yes, I tend to be a bit like this, which is probably why it bugs me so much.)

3.  Do you scrunch or fold your toilet paper?

Definitely fold.

4.  How many kids do you want to have?

8.  Okay, I always say that, just to see the look on the other person’s face.  Seriously though, I would like to have a large family.  That said, I DON’T plan on birthing many of those 8 (or you know, 5 or 6).  I want to adopt (possibly older children or a sibling set) and am excited to see so many families in our church getting excited about it as well.

5.  Do they bury people with their braces on?

I sure hope so.  It seems like a waste to take the time to get them off just for a little scrap medal.  Or are you thinking they’ll reuse them?  Ick!

FQF: Injuries and Secret Weapons

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1.  Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

Probably always is.  Currently my pink water bottle is at my finger tips, my desk calendar as pink on it, and my lunch bag has pink stripes on it.

2.  When is the last time you went to the mall?

Before tax season, in order to eat at the food court.  As far as actually shopping in the mall, who knows.

3.  When was the last time you drove out of town?

A few weeks ago I went with a friend to Richmond to visit her mom in the hospital.  The last time I drove was for April’s wedding in Georgia, the second weekend in January.  I don’t go on too many road trips (most places I want to go require a couple of planes).

4.  What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

Nothing too bad.  I did fall down a complete set of concrete stairs one time (carrying a big bag of laundry and wearing heels).  Ended up with some scrapes and a couple of deep bruises, one on my hip where the seatbelt on a plane hits you (I was flying to Turkey for the first time 2 days later).

5.  What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?

Ha, ha, ha!  Whatever it is, it certainly isn’t working.

Why Edward is Not My Dream Man

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Okay, forgive me.  If you’re a Twilighter, you won’t like this post as I’ll be dissing Edward.  If you’re not a Twilighter, then you won’t like this post because I’m going to talk about Twilight.  So basically, you have to have the exact same opinion as me (And why wouldn’t you if you have been reading my blog, right? I’m incredibly persuasive.) to enjoy this post.

I do realize that this post is at least a few weeks late, if not years.  Still, I wrote it now.  Actually, I’m rather pleased that I wrote anything “real” this week at all.

I read Twilight a couple of months ago after the umpteenth suggestion.  Didn’t hate it, but didn’t like it, either.  Over Thanksgiving break, I significantly miscalculated the number of books I’d need (I guessed 3, but 2 were youth books, so bad call) so I needed something to read.  Knowing my mom had New Moon, I thought I might as well continue the series.

After reading these two tomes, I still don’t get what it is about Edward that people like. At all.  In the interest of full disclosure, my ideal man-in-a-book/movie is Edmund in Mansfield Park (the movie, not necessarily the book).

9 Reasons Why I Couldn’t Like Edward

1. He’s pale as all get out.  Sure, being pale isn’t necessarily a bad thing (though I must admit I like my guys darker), but I don’t see how it’s a good thing, either.

2.  He’s a stalker.  Sure, Bella eventually gave permission for Edward to watch her all-night (like that isn’t creepy itself), but he did it before without asking.

3.  He sparkles.  If someone is going to sparkle in a relationship, it better be me.

4.  He’s mopey.  Sure, we all can be sometimes, but he seems to be too much (Bella, you too).

5.  He’s hard. How is that cuddly?

6.  He doesn’t bother to check his facts before making a big decision (killing himself).

7.  He likes Bella ’cause she smells good. That isn’t shallow…

8.  Other than these things, what else do we know about him?

9.  And then there’s something about being non-human…what was that again?

A Lonely Life

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girl_alone

I wrote this post last week, and it’s not really where I’m at right now.  I had a wonderful time with my ABF class at church on Saturday which was exactly what I needed.  Still, I wanted to share what I’ve been through because I know there are others who are still there or will be there.

In the past week or so, I’ve felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness.  Not only is there the usual ache of walking alone on a path built for two, but there has been added emphasis on how alone I truly am through several unrelated incidents.

Perhaps it’s silly, but hearing from others about their loneliness makes me lonely.  Perhaps it’s what happens when you’re truly sharing one another’s burdens, you feel what they feel.  I’m glad to do it for friends, old or new.

Another thing that can (and has) made me lonely is to know that a crush won’t work out.  Not that I necessarily assume it will, but hopes disappointed always hurt, don’t they?

Then there’s the disappointments that can come from friendships.  Being sinful creatures, we’re bound to let each other down, aren’t we?

So, I just wanted to share that I’ve been lonely.  I know that I’m not the only one, so perhaps hearing my story will help someone else feel less lonely.  There is comfort in the loneliness, and for that I’m incredibly grateful.  I have friends and family who love me through this time.  But most of all, though, the comfort comes in the fact that this world won’t last forever.

And I can’t wait until the next.

Photo by JuriaYoshikawa

Balance

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bride and groomI think that most everything we do is to be done in balance.  I’m always trying to walk the fence between legalism and lawlessness, work and rest, trusting in God’s sovereignty and taking responsibility for my part in the world.

As a single girl (I should probably say “lady” or “woman” but I like “girl” better),  one such area of balance is in the pursuit (sorta) of a husband.

On one hand, I want to do everything I can do get him.  I’d love to pursue the man I’m interested in whole-heartedly.  If I thought it’d work, I’d reveal my interest to him and ask him what he wanted to do about it.

But on the other hand (cue the Randy Travis song in my head), I want to do absolutely nothing.  Instead, I want to trust completely in God’s sovereignty, leaving no room for my work.  If God has a husband for me, He’s perfectly capable of bringing Him into my life, creating interest in me, all at the proper time.

But really, my position lies somewhere in the middle.  I want both, cake and all (actually this whole not-a-diet diet thing has cut out my interest in cake…but not ice cream).  I want to reveal my interest (or at least my opennness) to him, opening the door for him to pursue me.  I also want to trust in God’s sovereignty, knowing that missed chances don’t mean that I’m missing out on the life I’m supposed to have.  Though it’s a topic for another day, I don’t believe in “The One.”

I definitely have fallen pretty far on both sides of the fence I’m walking…but I’ll keep on.

Photo by fotographix

Man Up Already

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girl on swingIt’s been a month, and I still feel fairly content in my singleness. Still working through all of the issues behind it (okay, I really always am), but I’m glad that I at least made it a month.  It might only last a month and a day, but at least it did, right?

I was having a conversation the other day with another single friend (I’ll call her “Friend”), and we were talking about single guys and single girls we know.  While there are more single girls in our church than guys, there still are single guys that for all we know have not pursued any of the many attractive, godly women that we know.

Friend made the statement, “If I was a guy, I’d be married by now.”

What she means is, that if she was a guy, she would have manned up and pursued a relationship.  I know that many of my readers don’t have the same understanding on relationships, but for Friend and me, we want husbands that will take the lead.  Don’t mistake me: we’re not talking husbands that will lord over us. (I realize that this is a big topic in and of itself, but I’m going to leave it at that, for now.)

If I or Friend were to pursue a relationship with any of these guys we know, we’re setting ourselves up for failure for the type of relationships we feel the Bible warrants and we desire.  Doesn’t mean that I don’t have issues to clear up in order to not let my own cold shoulder or poisonous tongue to drive men to way though, it just means that I’m not going to follow the world’s advice and ask a guy I was interested in out, and I’m certainly wouldn’t be taking him home with me, either.

So, why have these men not done anything?  Perhaps, they like being single (if I like it, they could too).  Or maybe they have pursued someone(s) and been turned down, and that turns them off.  Maybe they’re waiting to be financially stable or out of school (not necessarily bad, but we’re really not hung up on the guy not being able to bring money bags to the table to prove his worth…it’s enough to be a wise spender, be willing to work hard, and to rely on God for provision).

What do you think?

Photo by Riot Jane