Tag Archives: Boys

Of Eggs and Men

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Today my care group from church went to a local food bank to help out.  Our task?

Putting over a 1,000 dozen eggs in cartons.

It was a lot of fun, and actually didn’t take as long to do since there were so many of us.  I personally probably packed up several dozen cartons of eggs.  We had to make sure they were clean and uncracked…I don’t think I’ll look at an egg the same way again.

Afterwards we headed to Sonic to enjoy one another’s company, and there I shared my story about Polite Video Store Dude.  They definitely keyed in on the fact that it was a amicable guy that I was rude to.  Yeah, they know me (and my issues) too well…

Greener Grass Right Here

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grass-toesDon’t look now, but I think I want to be single.

I feel like I talk my singleness to death on this here ole blog, but it’s something that I deal with on a daily basis, so I guess it’s something you, dear reader, have to hear about.  The tenor of these blog posts on my marital status tends to be: “I wish I was dating/married/a mother, but I want to be content where I am.”  Rest assured, this post won’t be anything of the sort.

Just last week I was contemplating my life.  Not the how-do-I-live-moment-to-moment or even the do-I-have-a-purpose type of contemplation, but the I-want-to-live-this-day-over-and-over-again kind of contemplation.  I like singleness: the flexibility, the alone time, the choosing what I want to eat and when, the extra time I get to dedicate to my favorite pastimes.

If I marry and/or have kids, these things will necessarily change.

I’m not saying that my motives are all right in this (I’m working on that one), but there’s some good in it.  First of all, I’m spending more time dwelling on the life God has given me than on the life that I want.  Secondly, one of the major motivations for remaining single is that I have more time/energy/resources to minister to others in and out of the church.  I could still do this if I was married, but a greater part of those resources would have to be spent on my family.

Of course, most of this is feeling-based, and as we all know, feelings change (over and over again).  While I was to the point of tears only a few weeks ago with an extreme desire for a husband and children, now I’m reveling it up in my current life.  If I were to remain single the rest of my life, I’d want my feelings to stay as they are, but I doubt that’s going to happen.  Actually, I know that’s not going to happen, because I’m still not immune to crushes.

Watch out, I think I might be seeing some green grass growing in between my toes.

Photo by  *sean

30 Questions

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1. Where was the very last place you went besides your house?

Church, where I had a lot of fun playing with a bunch of preteen girls.  I’m going to miss those girls.

2. What are you doing tonight?

Chillaxing in front of the TV…does that make me seem more real?  See, I don’t spend all my free time in books.

3. Who last texted you?

Jen.

4. Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?

Yes.

5. Do you get mad easily?

Not really, but sometimes if I’m stressed.

6. Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?

HIDE.  But I have done better in recent years of processing them through journaling. 

7. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

Give me 100-degree dry heat any day over 32 and snowy.

8. Who was the last person you were in a car with?

Jen, going to Blockbuster.

9. What color are your eyes?

They once were described as poopy brown but a particularly unkind guy friend.  They are pretty light for brown eyes, with speaks of green and yellow in them.

10. Have you ever given up on someone but then went back to them later?

Oh yeah, story of my high school relationships.

11. Have you ever thrown your cell phone in anger?

Nah, I’m not really one to throw/punch/kick.  I DO clench up and tear up. 

12. Has anyone told you a secret lately that you aren’t allowed to tell anyone?

A few preteens, haha. 

13. Honestly, if you could go back six months and change something, would you?

I can’t think of anything, so no.

14. Are you wearing any clothes that don’t belong to you?

Nope.

15. Do you have a lot on your mind at the moment?

Not really.  As far as seasons of life go, I’m in a pretty stable one.  Of course, that could change any day.

16. What side of the bed do you sleep on?

I have a twin, and believe it or not, I prefer it.  I like to always be touching at least one edge of the bed.  It’s not like I’m going to be inviting anyone into my bed anytime soon, anyway.

17. What is your favorite thing to shop for?

Books.  Or maybe shoes.  Hmm, I would love a big shopping spree at a book/shoe store.

18. Who knows you better than you know yourself?

There’s a few people that might, I’m not sure.

19. What are you doing this summer?

Nothing different.  No trips at all planned, due to lack of cash and vacation days (saving them up for November).  I do plan on keeping up the building of good habits that I’ve been trying to do lately.  And watch SYTYCD.  It’s really the only show that I’ll watch that you have a hard time missing a week on.

20. Do you miss your past?

I’ve liked every stage of life I’ve been in, each one more than the last.

21. Did you ever have tea parties when you were younger?

Not really, though I did have a ceramic tea set that sat on my nightstand for years.

22. What is your favorite line from a movie?

If I were to cheat, it would be part of the Ocean’s 11 Danny/Tess conversation, but if we’re talking about one line, I’d have to say the Pirates quote I mentioned the other day, “She’s safe, just like I promised. She’s all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we’re all men of our word, really. Except Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman.”   I don’t know what it is about it.

23. Would you rather be the opposite sex?

Boys are yucky.

24. What would you never name one of your children?

If it weren’t for Gone with the Wind, I think Scarlet would be a neat name, but I’d hate her to turn out to be a spoiled brat.  If it weren’t for a high school boyfriend, I would love the name Grant.  So yeah, not those names.

25. What is the coolest restaurant you’ve ever been to?

I don’t know about cool, as I don’t tend to like fancier places.  My favorite restaurant though, is a steakhouse in Kansas called Timberline.  Their salads, cheese fries, honey mustard, and mashed potatoes are the best I’ve ever had.

26. Where do you go when you want to get a really good sub sandwich?

If I’m going for a good sub, I prefer Quizno’s, but I frequent Subway because they’re cheaper and healthier (at least what I get).

27. What style of house would you like to live in?

I don’t know the names of the style, but ideally it would have a garden, a good sized living area, and a library.

28. Do you flip the channel when commercials come on?

Rarely.  I don’t like to watch commercials though (I still think commercials can’t be healthy), so I’m usually doing something else.

29. Have you seen any of the Saw movies?

Have I ever seen any horror movie?  Yeah right.  Just today, someone scared me by walking around the side of the building while I was watering my flowers.

30. What was your favorite book as a child?

I’m not sure about favorite, but I really like the Boxcar Children, the Betsy books, and the Babysitter’s Club books.

(Found this on Ministry So Fabulous.)

It Was a Set-Up

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I’m surprised when I wrote my story last week about blind dating (or the spoiling thereof) that no one asked me if it was based on a true experience.  No, it really wasn’t, but given my solo status, I thought it might cross some readers’ minds.  I have, however, met plenty of guys like Jason…no thanks.

One time, though, a friend tried to set me up with a teacher at her son’s school.  It was New Year’s Day 2006, and she was hosting a traditional Southern New Year’s meal, something I had never experienced before.

My friend told me before hand that she wanted to meet him, that he was really nice and taught at a conservative Christian school.  I was uncomfortable, but I agreed to show up and at least meet the guy because she told me she did not tell the guy she wanted us to meet (based on his reaction to me, I’m almost positive she did).  New Year’s was on a Sunday, so after church, I headed over to her house, dressed in my typical winter Sunday dress of a nice shirt and slacks.

After a while, the rest of the guests conveniently left us alone in the dining room as they sought out dessert.  He was nice, that was true, but he was a bit on the effeminate side and shy, to boot.  We really didn’t have a lot to talk about, but I suppose it wasn’t too awful, considering how experiences like this usually go.

After a while, I had to go because I was meeting friends to see Chronicles of Narnia.  I appreciated having the convenient out, and left.  Later, my friend told me he had a good time, and asked if she could give him my number, and she said he was sure to call.  She did, and I never heard from him.

After a little investigating, I figured out why.  My friend had told me where he went to college, and my roommate was from that area and knew it was ultra-conservative.  Sure enough, as I looked up their policies, a few things stood out to me:

Women aren’t supposed to wear pants (and I definitely was wearing them that day…hello, it was winter)

No one is to go to the movies (and I had mentioned that’s where I was heading)

Sunday as Sabbath was strictly enforced (which made my pant-wearing and movie-going all the worse)

Perhaps he didn’t buy into these teachings, but at the very least he was used to being around girls that did (okay, he probably wasn’t that used to being around girls at all).

He didn’t call me because I was too liberal for him.

That was a first, and I do believe it will be a last, as I thought I was about as liberal as they come.

My Hopes: the Dreamy Version

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This post is really part 1 of 2.  Back when I sought suggestions for celebrating my upcoming 3rd blogiversary, OneMom suggested I talk about my future dreams for 1 years, 5 years, and 10 years.  I thought it was a great idea, so here goes.

When people ask me this type of question, I never really know what to say.  There’s really two sets of answers: one with a husband and kids, and one without.  Today, I’ll give the first, and tomorrow the later.

Ever since I can remember, I’ve wanted to be a mother.  I remember creating elaborate pretend families with my friends, where we would talk about our half a dozen kids (each) and their names.  No husbands were involved in our fantasy worlds, though.  They had all been killed delivering pizzas (we must have heard about something of the kind on the news, as we certainly weren’t inclined to dark thoughts), and we were happily raising the kids ourselves.

As I got older, those dreams evolved.  Yes, I still want children, but I do want a husband.  Indeed, I believe I was created, as a woman, to be a wife.  I don’t buy into the philosophy that I must be married to be complete, but I do want to live life with someone.

With these dreams in mind, here’s my hopes for the future:

In 1 year, I would love to be dating and/or engaged to the man I would marry.  To be honest, I wouldn’t mind being married before a year is up, if it was right.  I’d also like to be completed with my first novel.  (While I’m dreaming, I’d also like to drop 20 pounds.)

In 5 years, I would love to married with a kid or two.  Ideally, I would be living here or overseas.  Either way, I would want to be serving Christ by being a supportive wife, a loving mother, and an active church member.  Of course, I want to be blogging still, catching up with you all who will be old friends by then.

In 10 years, I’d love to be married with a couple more kids; maybe 4 total.  I would be actively involved in the training and education of these children, whether or not that would include homeschooling, I don’t know.  I would still like to be actively involved in my church, whatever my role might look like then.

Tomorrow I’ll share my Plan B, otherwise known as my goals if Prince Charming doesn’t show.

Final Questions

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Elizabeth asked, “Have you ever considered taking a risk (or more than one risk) or doing something risky? Or do you always play it safe?”

Ooh, you really know me, don’tcha?  Of course, you have the benefit of real life conversations like the one we had about dancing (nope, still haven’t had to go!).  Yeah, I do play it safe a lot.  But certainly not all the time.  I have made two moves without knowing anyone, except for one or two acquaintances (first to Oklahoma, then to North Carolina).  I force myself to do things that I don’t want to at first, like going to a party, trying a new food, or joining a book club.  I travel, and am willing to travel, and put myself in situations that aren’t ideal for greater causes.

Is there a certain risk you think I should take?  And don’t tell me it’s about boys… (those are the hardest kind!).

Jen asked, “How DO you (or anyone for that matter) go about making your life more interesting? How do you get out of a rut?

This is a funny question to follow the last one, doesn’t it?  Personally, I don’t really worry about making life more interesting…it seems pretty interesting in and of itself.  No matter how much I try to get into patterns and schedules and routines, life throws wrenches and everything changes.

As far as getting out of rut, I like to remind myself that each day is a new day.  Fresh, new.  Doesn’t matter if tomorrow was blah or tomorrow is certain to be the same, today is a gift of God and I’m going to seek to enjoy it and make the most of it.  Of course, this is the attitude I would like to have, not necessarily the one that I do have, especially since I’m not a morning person!  I hope you get out of your slump soon, Jen!

Liz asked, “When it comes to friendships, are you are more apt to have many close friends that you are very open with, or do you tend to only have a couple close friends who are your special confidantes?”

I do tend to have a few close friends, but that said, I do tend to be open very quickly and easily.  I think I’ve closed off more as I’ve grown up, though those might not necessarily be linked, as it seems like I meet less people than I did in my school days, thereby insuring I don’t have as many opportunities to make new friends.  I just told one of my good friends who my crush is–or really, let her guess–(it had been bugging her, because I knew some of her guy stuff, and she knew that I did have a crush), but it took me quite some time to open up about that.

I so wish I could share boy stuff with you, my lovely bloggy buddies, but I can’t be certain who will read this or what conclusions they might jump to!  I’ll stick to my promise though, and will share info if anything juicy ever happens (and believe me, it hasn’t).  Besides, I couldn’t have you all thinking I’m just as vapid boy-chaser, could I?

K-Lai asked, “What, in your opinion, makes up a great friendship?”

Selflessness, openness, honesty, and being grounded in the truth. 

“Is there a fine line between love and hate?”

Probably not true love and pure hate, but between like and dislike.  My house was once TPed, and I thought my ex might have done it, but when I asked him, he said something like, “I don’t like you, and I don’t hate you.  If I did either of those, maybe I would have done it.”

“If you had to write a personal statement for winning the Nobel Prize (you pick which category), what would it include?”

Ooh, could it please be in literature?  Pretty please?  I think that would be so cool! (You would think that the future winner of the Nobel Prize in literature could come up with a more descriptive sentence than that!)  I would hope to be witty and funny, but when it comes down to it, I hope to give a clear presentation of the gospel.

“Do you have a recipe for lasagna? If so, what is it?”

Umm, I really don’t like lasagna, so no recipes here.  The one time I ”made” it, for a church small group function, it was just the Stouffer’s frozen kind.  In fact, it’s an issue of much teasing in my family as lasagna points back to the days when my hormone levels were a bit more volatile.

It Just Ain’t about That

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Something clicked for me in the last week or so, that has never made sense to me before.  I’m not sure how I didn’t get it, it’s not something difficult to understand.  Certainly I’ve seen/heard the lesson in a dozen places, but it never registered.  The lesson?

My life isn’t about my marital status.

Really, that should be obvious, right?  Over and over the Bible says, “Trust in the Lord,” “fear the Lord,” “seek the Lord,” and “keep His commandments.”  None of these require me to be married.

So all this time I’ve been longing for a boyfriend, my desires have been misplaced.  It’s not that marriage isn’t a good desire, it’s just that it’s not where my focus should be.  Instead of spending so much time thinking about the ring that’s not on my finger and the man who I can’t call mine, I should be pursuing God and His righteousness.  Instead of trying to make myself dateable, I should be seeking to be a holy woman of God.

Of all the characteristics that God clearly wants His followers to be marked by, “married” just isn’t on that list.  It’s not that He doesn’t care about marriage; it’s just that He desires my holiness more.  I should seek wisdom, instead of just how to become a wife.

Though I know most of my readers are married, I wanted to share this with you anyway.  Just as it has occured to me that life isn’t about my marital status, life is not about the money we make, the job/title we have, what others think of us, or how well we keep our houses clean and in running order.

Random Should Be a Noun

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A few randoms on this Monday morning:

1.  The more I hang out with preteen girls, the more I realize that they’re not all that much different than me and my friends.  We all love to sit around, laugh, talk about boys, watch movies, and eat junk food.

2.  It’s amazing how much one little conversation can throw you off emotionally.  And just when the pendulum about hit equilibrium…I guess I learned nothing from physics.

3.  Stretching and working out definitely has taken away my back pain.  If only I had known that earlier.

4.  As far as I have come in my walk with God (and only that by His grace), I have so much farther to go.

5.  I crave ice cream when it’s cold, but it’s more enjoyable when it’s warmer.

6.  There’s so much suffering in this world, and I’ve seen almost none of it.

My Big Valentine’s Day Plans

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I’m not a moper (okay, not most of the time, anyway).  I won’t be spending this couple-y holiday whining about not having a man.  To be honest, I think that I won’t really like Valentine’s Day as much when/if I’m in a relationship.  What’s the fun of cards and prettiness if you are expecting it?

No, I won’t be doing that this weekend, but I don’t have big plans, either.  The last few Valentine’s Days I’ve been babysitting, which is a fun/productive way to spend the holiday.  Probably because of the economy, I don’t have a gig for tomorrow night, but I’m glad.  This week has been so incredibly exhausting at work, that I’m looking forward to spending time at home catching up on reading (you know I have a schedule for my fun personal reading, right?).  It’ll be a fun evening, but I’m going to make myself clean my room and bathroom first because they really need it.  Then I can really enjoy the rest of the day.

Whatever your plans are, I hope that it will be enjoyable and that you’ll remember that God loves you more than anyone else can!  Happy Valentine’s Day!

Are You out There?

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In the interest of the promised disclosure in this area, I should probably let you know that I think I might be going on a date some time soon.

With a millionaire.  I aim big, ya know?

I saw an ad on facebook advertising, “Meet single verified millionaire men who are looking to date classy women.  Join MeetingMillionaires for free.  Date a 10!”

I can’t wait.  I mean, why mess with someone who works hard for his piddling paychecks when I can have a certified millionaire?

Seriously though, I don’t know what his checking account balance has to do with being  a “10.”  They’re both numbers, but that’s about the only correlation I can see.

I saw a similar “what I’m looking for in a guy” list on Emma’s blog, so I thought I’d share mine.  The bulk of this is from 2005 (I haven’t needed to update it much since).

Characteristics in a Mate

1.  Knows the Word (Psalm 1:2)
spends time in it daily
actively pursuing a life in accordance with it
seeks to memorize and meditate on it

2. Honest/has integrity (Titus 2:7-8)
seeks to tell the truth even when it is not easy or convenient

3. Leader in ministry, invests in others (Proverbs 31:23, Titus 1:9)
others look up to him
he seeks to invest and encourage younger believers
not afraid to take charge when needed

4. Teachable
seeks to learn even from unlikely situations
feels he can learn from younger believers too

5. Has a servant heart
humble
places others’ interest above his own
observant of how he can help others

6. Seeks counsel (Proverbs 20:18)
Meets with older men on a semi-regular basis
Seeks counsel and help making decisions
Seeks godly counsel

7. Has a heart for the lost
Has non-Christian friends
Seeks to show them Christ

8. Strong in prayer
Prays for himself, me, others around him, non-Christians, the world
Seeks God in prayer first

9. Hard worker
Overcomes laziness
Does more than his “fair share”

10. Intelligent
Can have an intelligent, thought-provoking conversation with me

11. Likes kids
Plays with them
Wants some of his own someday
Would consider adoption

12. Willing to devote his life to ministry overseas or in the states

13. Willing and able to correct me in love

14. Seeking to become more godly: holy, righteous, self-controlled (Galatians 5:22-23, Titus 1:7-8)

Obviously, no one is perfect in all of these areas, least of all me. But these are the characteristics I want to see growing in my future husband before I say, “yes.” Oh, and there are a few things I call “icing” that would be nice to have, but not deal breakers:

Likes sports

Likes to read

Plays an instrument

Likes to play games

Likes to travel

So, I want to know…are you out there, oh mystery man who fits the bill?