Ignorant Historian

I mentioned in last week’s thankful post that I was thankful for my small group at church, my second family. But I’m also thankful for my church as a whole.

When I moved to North Carolina, I had only planned on staying here for school. I’m not a southern girl at heart, so this would not be my first choice of places to settle. But I have settled, almost entirely because of my church.

My church certainly has it’s flaws (it’s made up of sinners!), but I believe the trend is that we’re growing closer to Christ in word and deed. The elders and staff are great models and encouragers. They don’t allow us to get away with being superficial in our faith any more than they would settle to do so themselves.

In my church is where I started to learn what real ministry entails. It’s where I’ve learned to say, “I don’t know.” It’s where I’ve learned to love God and others more (though I have a long way to go).

I feel for those Christians who try to go it alone. What gifts and opportunities for sharpening their missing!

I read Justin Lee’s answers on Rachel Held Evans’ blog, and I’ve been chewing on it for a few days. To better understand what I’m going to say here, read that post. Justin’s words didn’t necessarily change my views on homosexuality, but it did refine how I express them a bit.

For the record, I don’t understand how Justin makes the leap to the idea that marriage can between two individuals of the same sex. Like in all issues, I believe the burden of proof in a Christian debate belongs to the one who is going against traditional Christian understanding. Not saying the Christian status quo is always right, but to go against what has been handed down to us through history, you should be able to provide reasonable proofs for that breakaway. I haven’t seen that from Justin, though to be fair, he says he will be addressing that more.

But is it wrong to be “gay?”

Yeah, I put “gay” in quotes, because I think that there is already a worldview assumption by labeling someone “gay” or “straight,” and that is that our sexual attractions are a defining characteristic. I don’t believe that’s the case.

I do believe people when they say that they were born with desires for the same sex. I was born with addictive tendencies, but that doesn’t excuse my addictive thoughts (“I have to have some ice cream”) and behavior. So I’m not opposed to the idea that someone is “born this way,” as long as they’re not using that an excuse for their sinful thoughts and behavior.

But I don’t think it’s right to say “God made me like this,” because God has better plans for your life than for you to be marred with sinful desires. Unfortunately, you are born with a sinful heritage and aren’t perfectly how God created you. But if you trust that He did the work to pay for your sins, you can be born anew. God doesn’t usually remove our sinful desires, but He can use them to mold us more into the person He wants us to be.

So then, is it wrong to be attracted to someone of the same sex?

Yes, and no. It is wrong to look lustfully at anyone other than your spouse, no matter their sex. But I don’t think it’s wrong if you look at someone and think, “Wow, they’re attractive.” But we rarely leave it at that, do we? Most of the time we continue to look, dwell on the thought, and play with it in our imaginations.

Sexual sin is rampant in our culture. Even among the most sexually conservative, it’s usually believed to be okay to look, but not touch. But this is not the standard that the Bible gives us (see Matthew 5:27-28).

God sets a hard standard for us. One so high that I believe it’s impossible to live by apart from the grace of God.

Ah, and that’s the sweetness. Regardless of our history and regardless of our desires, God offers us His mercy through His Son and his grace through His Holy Spirit.

While I don’t like the term “gay Christian,” I think it’s possible to be saved by the grace of the God and still struggle with homosexual desires. These desires can be frusterating, I’m sure, because there’ s no lawful (speaking of God’s law) fulfillment of these desires.

But all our desires will ultimately be eclipsed by God and great goodness and blessings.

So what is a Christian who struggles with same-sex desires to do?

First of all, they need to share their struggle with a couple trusted, mature friends. Hopefully, you’re already in a church family so that makes the choice easier. Your small group leader, a pastor or their wives would be good people to ask to come alongside you.

You may never be attracted to someone of the opposite sex, which means you may never get married. In that case, you’ll be given grace from God (day by day!) to live a celibate life. Will that be easy? Absolutely not. I know this because at least to this point, I’ve been called to live a celibate life.

I’ve already gone on longer than I usually do, but I don’t want to end before I encourage my fellow Christians to share the compassion and grace of Christ. That means we don’t joke about homosexuality or fear those who have homosexual desires.

Did you read that post (linked above)? What are your thoughts? You’re always great, but remember to be civil in the comments.

I know I’ve shared how much I love my church on multiple occasions, but that love continues to grow. This past weekend my ABF group (Adult Bible Fellowship) went to the NC mountains. There were 14 adults, 7 teens, and 10 kids. We stayed in a bunkhouse with a huge common room, an industrial kitchen, and 16 rooms with 2 bunks each.

I love these people. If anything, the weekend seemed to go by too quickly. I’m sorry I don’t have any pictures of the beautiful property (the kids loved the horses, ducks, and kittens as well as a swinging bridge) or people, but since my cell had no reception, I turned it off immediately and didn’t carry it with me anywhere. Which also meant I didn’t have a camera, watch, or alarm clock.

As if I’d need an alarm clock when there were young ones running around…

One of the best parts of the weekend happened when we were leaving on Sunday. My friend Penny and I were the last to leave, as we were finishing up the clean up. When Penny put her key in the car to start it, the battery was dead.

Thankfully, her family lives in a nearby town, so we were able to get a jump from her brother so we could get into town and get the battery replaced. I’m glad that we got that extra time to talk, as at one point near the end of our 4-hour drive, tears were streaming down my face. She thought it was something she said, but really, it was just brokenness over my own sin. More on that later.

You can tell how much I enjoyed the company by how little I read. I only read 6 chapters of the Bible and maybe 15 pages of another book. Unheard of for me on a trip!

I’m very thankful for the refreshing, entertaining, and encouraging weekend. I have renewed my motivation to do what I need to do.

Thursday before Labor Day…our last challenge for the summer! Here goes…

“That you see Biblical guidelines for what is appropriate and inappropriate for men and women in relation to each other not as arbitrary constraints on freedom but as wise and gracious prescriptions for how to discover the true freedom of God’s ideal of complementarity. That you not measure your potential by the few roles withheld but by the countless roles offered. That you turn off the TV and Radio and think about…” (see the challenge for the huge list of what to think about!)

I need to work on turning off the TV. It’s easy to turn to, especially when I get tired and work gets busy. I don’t think it’s evil, but I don’t need to b e watching every night, let alone several hours every night.

As far as gender roles in the Bible go, the “few roles withheld” become the sole focus of discussion, it seems. But it’s true that there are many more things that I can and should do than what I shouldn’t or what it wouldn’t be wise for me to do. Don’t believe me? Look at the list. And consider who has had the most influence on you. I’d guess that by and large, those people haven’t been in the big public teaching and preaching roles.

A whole lot more can be said on the subject and I know I haven’t provide any justification here for mine or John Piper’s (though I wouldn’t try to defend someone else’s beliefs) views on women in the church. Some of that I’ve said here.

Other Posts in This Series:

A Summer of Growth

Peace, Joy, and Strength

Daily Acts of Love

Women of the Book

Women of Prayer

Deep Thinkin’

No More Frittering

Exploiting Not Paralyzing

Fearless Tranquility

Keeping Me Honest

To Be God’s Free Agent

Finite Life

Wartime Mentality

Style and Demeanor

Second to last challenge! I’ve loved taking the time to think through these things…I need challenging.

“That in all your relationships with men you seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit in applying the Biblical vision of manhood and womanhood; that you develop a style and demeanor that does justice to the unique role God has given to man to feel responsible for gracious leadership in relation to women—a leadership which involves elements of protection and care and initiative. That you think creatively and with cultural sensitivity (just as he must do) in shaping the style and setting the tone of your interaction with men.”

And…this is a hard one.

I think what makes this one so difficult is that we’re so incredibly influenced by our messed-up culture. How men and women relate to one another have been one area where there is a lot of confusion, even in the church.

I’ve taken classes at seminary on gender issues. They were incredibly helpful, but I’m far from having everything figured out. I’m closer to understanding the theory than I am the practice.

Books and courses have been great, but I think the biggest place I’ve learned how to be a women a treat men like men is from the examples of those in my church. You can learn a lot by being invited (or wedging your way in!) into the lives and homes of those more mature and farther along than you.

Especially as a single woman, this is an area that I have to be humble and open to correction. I don’t have a husband to run ideas by or ask questions of. But there are people in my life that I hope feel comfortable to confront or correct me when needed.

Other Posts in This Series:

A Summer of Growth

Peace, Joy, and Strength

Daily Acts of Love

Women of the Book

Women of Prayer

Deep Thinkin’

No More Frittering

Exploiting Not Paralyzing

Fearless Tranquility

Keeping Me Honest

To Be God’s Free Agent

Finite Life

Wartime Mentality

This month, the Faith and Fiction Roundtable and briefly discussed the recently released Small Town Sinners. It is the story of a teenage girl and her struggle with what it real and true as she participates in her church’s “hell house.”

If you’ve never heard of the concept, a hell house is an outreach that attempts to draw in audiences—often young people—to a haunted house type production that presents the afterlife consequences of poor choices. The point, to put it bluntly, is to scare people towards Christ. For the record, I’ve never been to, participated in, or endorsed a hell house, and seriously doubt I ever will. They might be a great tool to move the emotions of the attendees, but I don’t think they’re necessarily a great tool to really get to their hearts, though God can use any means to draw someone to Him.

Lacey, the main character, is a pastor’s daughter and is very enthusiastic about the hell house, desiring to play the part of “abortion girl,” the girl who chooses to abort her baby in a bloody and dramatic scene. Other scenes in the hell house also play towards typical right-wing-decried sins like gay marriage.

Through the help of a cute and mysterious boy with bitterness of his own toward the church, Lacey comes to doubt the church’s response to sin among its own. Actually, her doubt seems to be the theme of the book, and it’s an issue that’s not resolved.

Yes, that bugged me.

I think doubt it healthy. I wouldn’t want any of the children and young adults I work with at church to take what their parents, the pastors, or I have said to them without examining and considering it. I don’t want them to become mini-me’s…I want them to become strong followers of Christ of their own, and that doesn’t come from blindly believing what you’ve been told.

However, I do think there are answers in life. Some questions won’t be answered in this life, and we have to be okay with that. But I do think God has given us many answers and a great perspective with which to interpret the unknowns. I’m currently reading the book of Job, a book which is great to study when wondering the big questions of life.

Disclaimer: I received a free copy of Small Town Sinners for discussion purposes.

Other Faith and Fiction Roundtable Participants:

Amy
Brooks
Carrie
Florinda
Hannah
Heather
Jennifer
Julie
Liz
Nicole
Sheila
Sherry
Thomas
Tina

I’m not a John Piper fanatic, but lately, some of the things I’ve been reading of his have really “clicked.”  I mentioned last week that I really enjoyed his chapter in Voices of the True Woman Movement. In particular, there was one section where I highlighted almost the whole thing. Appropriately enough, it was addressed to single women.

Piper lists 3 things that illustrated by me (and other single women) by being single, that wouldn’t be if I was married. I’ve never really thought about it before, and it was very encouraging to see my singleness not as a lack, but as a gain. Those three things are:

“A life of Christ-exalting singleness bears witness that the family of God grows not by propagation through sexual intercourse, but by regeneration through faith in Christ.”

I love the large families in our church, but sometimes I wonder if people get the wrong idea when they see large biological families. Do they think that we think we grow the church through popping out babies? Just one of the many random thoughts that run through my head…

“A life of Christ-exalting singleness bears witness that relationships in Christ are more permanent, and more precious, than relationships in families.”

I love my family (hi, Mom!), but this is very true. My closest relationships are those within my church. These are the people that I turn to with the good and the bad things. When I found out I’d need to move with short notice, they jumped right in, helping me find a place, gather everything I needed, and making the move smooth and simple. I was so encouraged by the fact I didn’t even have to ask for the help.

“A life of Christ-exalting singleness bears witness that marriage is temporary, and finally gives way to the relationship to which it was pointing all along: Christ and the church—the way a picture is no longer needed when you see face-to-face.”

It’s hard on this earth to think about marriage being temporary. Everyone’s doing it; when will it be my turn?

But it’s not about my marital status. IT’S NOT ABOUT MY MARITAL STATUS. Sorry, just have to beat that into me sometimes.

Photo by Mr. T in DC

The next selection the Faith and Fiction Roundtable was the science fiction book Canticle for Liebowitz by Walter M. Miller, Jr. The book is in 3 parts, each part being 600 years further in the future than the last. The first section takes place 600 years from now, with some sort of nuclear holocaust happening in our time. Canticle takes place in a Catholic monastery built with the desire to preserve Western scientific knowledge as much as possible through the new dark age.

The setting of Canticle for Liebowitz had me thinking a lot about the place of the Church (as a whole, not specifically the Catholic Church) in changing times. The members of the monastery in this book were much more concerned with preserving their sacred texts than in saving the people, many of whom were suffering greatly due to the consequences of scientific advancement. The Church—or as much as we  are shown in the book—seems to have no answer for this suffering.

So what should be the Church’s answer in troubling times? While we no longer have the cloud of the Cold War over our heads as it was when this book was written, we still live in a time of uncertainty. The amount of physical destruction I’ve seen with my own eyes this spring has sobered me and taking away the joy I once had in watching storm clouds rolling in.

I believe that the Church–and thus individual Christians—has no greater task in times like these than to point people to Christ. While there is a place for meeting physical needs—a practicality that should not be overlooked—this can’t be the only outreach to hurting people. At the same time, preaching to spiritual needs while disregarding physical needs will fall on deaf ears. Both must go hand in hand.

But the chief task of both word and action is pointing to the hope found in Christ. There is great peace to be found at the foot of the Cross, and we do others a disservice when we downplay it.

Other Faith and Fiction Roundtable Participants:

Amy
Brooks
Carrie
Florinda
Hannah
Heather
Julie
Liz
Nicole
Sherry
Thomas
Tina

Their dog decided to "help" by offering me a ball to throw.

Yesterday was one of my favorite days in recent memory.

There was nothing particularly special about the day, nothing that someone else would look at and say, “Wow, she has a blessed life.”

But I absolutely do.

The best part of the day was the afternoon. I was invited over to a friend’s house for lunch with her family. We had lunch, sure, but it was much more. It was simply being together, living their typical Sunday afternoon. It was everything that I miss being single.

I’m convinced that that’s how we’re created to live. It’s only in our individualistic modern times where most people live alone or in small family units.

Sans dog...a success!

I don’t like it. As an introvert, I enjoy my alone time, sure. But as a person designed to live in community, I hate coming home to an empty house day after day.

It’s such a blessing to get to be a part of someone else’s family life.

I know I’ve said it before, but if you have a family, reach out to someone single and invite them into your life. Perfect hospitality not necessary, or really desired. It’s good to see family life more like it really is, not the façade we like to put up for “company.” While it’s nice to be treated like a guest sometimes, more often I prefer just to be one of the family.

I hope you had a good weekend as well!

I must admit that when I first heard of this book I didn’t like it. I can’t quite remember now what my misgivings were, but it had something to do with the idea of “ambition” having anything good about it, or something.

Whatever my amorphous distaste about ambition I may have had, I don’t anymore, which is why it’s hard for me to recall them. I’m always like that…I rarely remember what my position used to have been…it’s like I’m my own Ministry of Truth (think 1984) rewriting history to always reflect the better understanding of today.

Anyway…

Reading Rescuing Ambition definitely changed my mind. Dave Harvey wrote this to two kinds of people: people who are ambitious for their own goals and people who aren’t ambitious at all. I’m definitely more of the former…we’re all basically one or the other.

While much of Christianity may seem to stifle ambition, that’s not what we’re supposed to do. We’re not supposed to simply “let go and let God.” We are to be ambitious, but for God’s glory, not our own.

So instead of  trying to squash those ambitious desires, we should give them over to God and pursue the things He’s laid out in Scripture. Perhaps God does want me to be a famous blogger and novelist (I doubt it!), but regardless of how God wants to use me, He wants me to trust Him and take opportunities to share God with others.

My favorite chapter of the book was the one about being ambitious in the church. I have such a great respect for the local church (and specifically, my local church), so I appreciated this emphasis. God has chosen to organize His followers into churches, local bodies of Christ. In order for us to do the work that God has given us, we must work together, not trying to promote ourselves but each doing our parts in a harmonious way.

I’m afraid I’m not telling the essence of this book very elegantly…just read it!

I recommend this book.