Ignorant Historian

This is a continuation of my series of pulling posts from Xanga, my pre-blogging days.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

[3/4 of this post was utterly boring so I cut it out] …I’m scared that I might make a C in Europe [history]…a 1000 level class in my major!  That’s why I’m stepping it up and studying 5x as much as I have for the last two tests…oh, yeah, I only studied a combined 3-4 hours on the last two tests combined.

Tuesday, May 3, 2005

…Sometime after I went back to sleep I had a crazy “nightmare.”  When I have scary dreams they are never about slashers or serial killers, but about not being able to get done what I am supposed to.  In this dream, I all of the sudden realized that I had done nothing for my ballet class all semester.  I had forgotten I even had it.  I had to try to find a way to get around having a big fat F in a class that was required so that I could still graduate next week.  This fear of failure continued to fill my thoughts until I was awake enough to realize that it was absolutely not true.  I mean, we don’t even have to have ballet to graduate. [No, I didn't take a ballet class, either.]

Friday, May 13, 2005

College is over! The exclamation point might indicate that I’m excited, but really I’m a little overwhelmed. It’s crazy how fast 4 YEARS can go by…it seems like yesterday when my parents dropped me off and I knew no one…now I’m having a hard time saying goodbye to the incredible friends that God has allowed me to know.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Well, I have to admit something that might make me look like a fool. I got my first C this semester. (that’s not the foolish part…it happens to the best of us) It’s just embarrassing what class I got the C in. HIST 1223. Yes, a 1000-level class, in my major, my last semester. O well. At least I only did 10 hours of work for the entire class. On a brighter note, I did as expected in my other classes and still ended up with a higher GPA than my dismal fall semester. [Now that my schooling career is over, I can tell you that that was my only C. Still embarrassed by what class it was in!]

“Well, I got a degree, but I’m not going to let it ruin my life.” – Sully, Bones episode “The Girl in the Gator”

“No one around may see the black, indelible spots I am covered with, but I know that I–a criminal–have no right to be among these frank wide-open faces.” – We by Yevgeny Zamyatin, p. 140

“I never want to run away from anything because it is considered cool or fun by the secular world.  I also never want [to] run toward anything because it is considered glam-worthy.” – Green Like God by Jonathan Merritt, p. 16

“I was born a seesaw, auntie, and nothing can ever prevent me from teetering.” – Philippa in Anne of the Island by Lucy Maud Montgomery

“It’s a shame,” he said, “you don’t learn more about the countries you f*** with.” – An Aussie to an American in His Illegal Self by Peter Carey

“Though God wants us to protect our land, we keep treating it like dirt.” – Green Like God by Jonathan Merritt, p. 106

“In 1995 the world spent less than US$250 million trying to extinguish the HIV epidemic. These days, Americans spend over eight times that amount, two billion dollars a year, just on Botox injections to extinguish their wrinkles.” – The Wisdom of Whores by Elizabeth Pisani, p. 20

“Exactly, just like children, we must always ask, ‘And what next?’ ” – We by Yevgeny Zamyatin, p. 175

“…it isn’t fair to fault Jesus for failing to offer answers to questions the culture wasn’t asking.” – Green Like God by Jonathan Merritt, p. 85

“How very odd, to believe God gave you life, and yet not think that life asks more of you than watching TV.” – An Abundance of Katherines by John Green, p. 33

“Psalm 19:10 says that Scripture is sweeter than honey, but you’d never know that judging by some believers. You see, there are three basic kinds of Bible students. There are the ‘castor oil’ types. To them the Word is bitter–Yech!–but it’s good for what ails them. Then there is the ‘shredded wheat’ kind. To them Scripture is nourishing but dry. It’s like eating a bail of hay. But the third kind is what I call the ‘strawberries-and-cream’ folks. They just can’t get enough of the stuff. How did they acquire that taste? By feasting on the Word.” – Living By the Book by Howard and William Hendricks, p. 19

“If everyone on Earth actually consumed resources the way Americans do, experts estimate that it would take several Planet Earths just to sustain life.” – Green Like God by Jonathan Merritt, p. 126

I’m starting a new series here at the Ignorant Historian.  As I’ve been talking lately about my starts in the blogging world, it occurred to me that there were a few, umm, “gems” from my Xanga-ing days that I don’t want to lose sight of.  I won’t be featuring everything, but just a few here and there that made me snicker.  I think you’ll come to realize I wasn’t always quite the eloquent blogger I am now (ha!).

Here, with my first 3 Xanga posts in their entire, is my start in the weblogging world.  These are from the tail-end of my senior year at the University of Oklahoma.  I’m surprised anyone read these at all.

Friday, April 08, 2005
Okay, so it took me awhile to decide, but I figured I might as well start a xanga. I like hopping on the bandwagon as it starts to slow down. Actually, I generally like hopping. I should be researching for my 15-page research paper (due Tuesday). I suppose that was the final straw in my joining-xanga decision.

Saturday, April 09, 2005
So, an actual post. I’ve had a problem these last few days with my attire. The problem is, you see, that I have matched. Yesterday I matched (my nail polish and my shirt, of all things!) and Thursday I matched (my cute flip flops, my shirt, my bag, and my nails!). I’m having a major fashion crisis here! I am not cutesy enough to always match! That is why today, I am wearing a t-shirt.

I’m in the middle of writing my research paper over the constitution of Japan. It’s going fairly smoothly, but I would much rather be doing pretty much anything else.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005
I got found out.

Today at the Union, I tried to kick Mindy. However, my legs (being short, just ask Mindy) I have a very short radius on who I can kick so she quickly got out of harm’s way. However, I was caught. Brian snuck up from behind me and saw the whole thing. I publicly apologize for any harm I have caused.

Then, we went up the elevator. On the second floor the door opened, and there was a cart there. Mindy said, “Uh…I don’t know what to do…um…do I need to scoot over?” I just laughed and said, “Mindy, I don’t think the cart is going to come in on its own…”

Next, we went to Wendy’s where another “finding out” happened. I was publicly rebuked. I really can’t tell too much of the details, but if you are a girl, ask and I’ll tell you. Sarah, I thought we were better friends than this. I can’t help it if my shadow does everything I do.

In class today, I turned in my paper! I also gave a 5 minute presentation about my topic. I’m glad that’s over. I got to go second, which is awesome so I had the rest of the 2 hr. 50 min. class to sit there and zone out (I’m sorry, I tried to listen!) and do my best to comment on others’ presentations.

After class, Mindy and I went to Wal-mart, where we were promptly checked out (it’s not just me after all!) with my only purchase, Ocean’s 12! I only went about 20 feet and 2 minutes into the store; it was so nice.

Last, but certainly not least, I came home to my hall full of girls and was pleasantly greeted by the hottest member of the hall, Kerie. (she says Amen to that!)

A few weeks ago when I talked about the end of this decade, I mentioned how it didn’t have a name.  That got us talking about not only the name for the decade, but for my generation.  Names like “The Digital Generation,” “The Entitled Generation,” and “Generation Y” were thrown out.  While I had to agree with some of the things you were saying, they also hurt.  They were true, but not the whole truth.

One thing that I have always felt has defined my generation in part is the tragic cruelty of September 11.  Yes, this has affected all Americans, but for the younger generation, it defined our childhood, our teenage years, our early adulthood.  For me, the greatest act of terrorism on American soil happened three weeks after I went to college, moved out from my parents’ home, and started thinking seriously about what career I’d pursue.  If something that huge didn’t affect me and those of my generation, it’d be shocking.

And though the influence of that tragic day 8 years ago can’t be measured (after all, who’s can say what we might have been like otherwise?), I know that the influence is there.

I remember.  More importantly, we remember.

Photo by NJ Scott

Though I’m nerdy and fairly girly (in the hate-spiders-love-skirts-and-pink-and-flowers kinda way), I love college football.  Nothing new, I know, but it hasn’t always been that way.  I clearly remember thinking football was barbaric and nonsensical.

When offered season tickets prior to my freshman year at OU, I scoffed, thinking I’d never want to go to such things.  It was the year after our last national championship  (7 total, but who’s counting?) and we had a fab young coach, so our campus was all abuzz about the new season.  It seemed like everyone but me was into it, but I still thought it was stupid.

Fortunately, I had upperclassman friends who taught me the lay of the land, and besides teaching me that tests actually do require studying, they took me to a football game if only for the experience.  To be honest, I couldn’t even tell you who we were playing that first game, but it was some small team.  And you know what?  I liked it.

After that, I got tickets for the OU-K-State game.  Being from Kansas, I never liked those purple cats, so I was excited to see us beat them (that was when they were good, too).  That sealed it…I absolutely loved being a part of Oklahoma Sooner football.

Though another national championship wasn’t going to happen that year (or the next, or the next…maybe THIS year is our year?), I fell in love.  When we lost to Nebraska late in the season, it was my first experience at disappointment (which I’ve experienced many times since).

So, with that in mind, I’m excited for another year of Sooner football, my 9th as a fan (which means it’s the 9th season since our last national championship!).  Boomer Sooner!

I’m back.  After time in Chicago, IL, Wichita, KS, and Denison, TX, I’m back in good ole Raleigh, NC.  I love to travel, but really enjoy coming home, too.  Now if everything would just unpack itself…

The return trip was rather uneventful.  Neither of my flights were particularly full.  In fact, I had no one sitting next to me either way.  I have a knack for sitting next to no one, even on a almost-full flight, but it has been a while since I’ve been on a flight that was less than full.  As I was waiting to leave Wichita, I realized that it was incredibly quiet in the terminal, even though there were other people around.  Even the gate agents were whispering to each other.  It was so much different in Chicago!

I could go into the details about everything that I did over the last 10 days, but I don’t want to bore you.  My time at my parents’ primarily consisted of putting together puzzles, sleeping, eating, and watching movies.  My time in Texas consisted of playing with a little girl and getting some good time talking with Dana.  I sure do miss living with her, even though we haven’t in over 3 years.  We would regularly stay up until 2 in the morning talking in our beds.  As much as I did enjoy that time, I don’t think I would ever want to go back to a dorm setting.  I enjoy the quiet of my own bedroom with only one other person in the apartment!

If I continued this post, it would just get rambly.  Actually, it’s already gotten rambly, so I’m going to end it here.  Don’t forget to enter the $50 Target gift card giveaway if you haven’t done so already!

To read the first part of this story, check out my first day of college.

The next morning, I woke up just a couple hours after my roommate had come home. I was shocked by how late she stayed out. 5 AM…really? What in the world do you do until 5 AM? I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.

I got to work finishing putting together my things and going to the bookstore to buy my books for my classes. I enjoyed looking through the books for the semester, but after that I didn’t have much to do.

For lunch, I went to the cafeteria alone. I wasn’t the only one there alone, but I didn’t reach out to anybody. I pretended like I needed no friends and was perfectly content being there by myself, but inside I was humiliated and aching for a friend. Even in new situations like this I never had a problem making new friends, but here it seemed like everyone else knew people. After all, most OU students come from Oklahoma or north Texas, and they come there with their high school friends.

That afternoon as I sat in my room with my roommate, each of us on our computers, two upperclassmen knocked on our door. We invited them in, and they told us about a pizza party that was to be held that night. It was on the other side of campus, and all we had to do to get there was to meet downstairs beforehand and we could walk over with them. My roommate and I both said we would go, and they left. I found out later that those ladies never thought I would come, but thought my roommate would (the opposite happened).

When the appointed hour came, I went downstairs incredibly excited to have a chance to meet new people. I knew that there would be friendly people there, because I had already met some. Not only were the two girls who came by my room there, but so were the friendly upperclassmen that helped me move in the day before. They were all a part of the Baptist Student Union, and they made it a part of their goal to connect with the freshmen and make them feel at home.

So we walked across campus, being shown where the important buildings were, and finally made it to our destination. After pizza, we went out bowling which was also a lot of fun. I was excited to finally be in a group of people that I was comfortable with and that were truly interested in getting to know me and helping me get my bearings on that big college campus.

That day several friendships began that still last. Not only were those upperclassman girls to become mentors to me, but I met my future roommate and best friend, Dana, at the Baptist Student Union sometime in those early weeks. The Baptist Student Union was also where I learned how to grow in my faith in Christ, helping to mold me into who I am today.

Other School Day Memories:

Kindergarten and 1st Grade: Kisses and Skunks
2nd and 3rd grade: Spitwads
3rd grade: Laundry Chutes and Floppy Disks
4th grade: Watching Whales
5th grade: Bad Grammar
7th Grade: Teacher Review
8th Grade: 100 Marble Pick Up
9th Grade: Science Nerd
10th Grade: Playing in the Rain
11th Grade: Pink
12th Grade: Sleepovers on a School Night
College Freshman Year: My First Day of College
College Junior Year: Kidnapping and Frozen Custard
College Senior Year: Why Procrastination Might Not Be My Thing

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I’m thankful for all those friends I met at the BSU and what they all mean to me. God’s used them more than they’ll probably ever know.

Like the new look? So do I! The pink was starting to really get on my nerves. Thanks, Summer! Holiday blog makeovers are 25% off her already reasonable prices.

I’m surprised I’ve never told this memory, but it’s a very formative one for me. It is my first day at college. In high school I wanted to be a meteorologist, so I decided to go to the University of Oklahoma because they had a good program. OU isn’t very far from where I grew up, just 3 hours, but it’s not a common school for people from my high school to go to (only 1 went the year before, and he wasn’t someone I was close to).

All summer long, I was excited about going to college. Why wouldn’t I be? I just knew it would be the best days of my life. Shopping and packing were exciting to me. I tried to pretend to be sad to leave my family for their sake, but really, I was excited to go. I always planned on leaving the state for college, and that dream was coming true.

The day I was to move into my freshman dorm, a Thursday, was a busy one. That very day was also my mom’s first day of school (she was a teacher), my dad’s last day of school (he was a master’s student and had a presentation that night), and my grandparents were flying back from visiting my cousins. My dad and brother were able to get away to take me to Oklahoma, but had to leave early so my dad could get back for his evening class.

Moving into the dorm was exciting. Sure the hallways had a strange odor, but I could get over that. Yeah, the closet had a layer of dust, but that’s easily fixed. Of course, there were strange stains on the ceiling above my bunk bed, but that’s nothing that a few more glow-in-the-dark stars couldn’t cover. Here I was living out my dream.

It took us most of the morning to get all my things in. There were some helpful upperclassman that helped us out and would say “hi” to me by name as they would pass me. But once everthing was unloaded and we went to lunch, it was time for my dad and brother to head out, and I went up, alone, to my room. As they drove away it hit me for the very first time that I was completely alone in a foreign place.

I sat in my room completely stunned. I worked on getting my computer put together and hooked up to the Internet, so at least I had something to do. I wasn’t expecting my roommate to come in until later that evening. I hadn’t even met her, but I was hoping she would become a good friend.

My roommate did come back and we got to talking some. She didn’t seem like she’d be a bad roommate, but she was loud and outgoing, and she already knew most of the girls on my hall plus all her friends from high school living in other dorms. She invited me to come with her and her friends to a frat party. I’ve never been a partier, so I made some lame excuse of being too tired from moving to get out of going. (I didn’t yet have the guts to say a flat-out “no.”)

That night I lay in bed, staring at those stains and wishing Monday would come. On Monday classes would start, giving me something to do and a chance to meet someone who didn’t already have a huge group of friends. Yes, college was something I was looking forward to, but I was dreaming of the days where I would already have a group of friends, not those first days where I knew no soul.

No, the story doesn’t end there, but that’s all I’m going to tell for now. I know, I’m a tease. Come back next Saturday and I’ll continue the story!

Other School Day Memories:

Kindergarten and 1st Grade: Kisses and Skunks
2nd and 3rd grade: Spitwads
3rd grade: Laundry Chutes and Floppy Disks
4th grade: Watching Whales
5th grade: Bad Grammar
7th Grade: Teacher Review
8th Grade: 100 Marble Pick Up
9th Grade: Science Nerd
10th Grade: Playing in the Rain
11th Grade: Pink
12th Grade: Sleepovers on a School Night
College Junior Year: Kidnapping and Frozen Custard
College Senior Year: Why Procrastination Might Not Be My Thing

——————————————————————————-

I’m thankful that God led me to the University of Oklahoma. Though I never did get a degree in meteorlogy, it was exactly where I was supposed to be.

**I apologize ahead of time for anyone who isn’t a football fan. Feel free to skip this post. Since I like to present the whole me on the blog, from time to time you’ll come across something that you and I don’t share in common. No problem. I, however, do not apologize for the views actually held in this post. The Sooners are my team, and you cannot convince me otherwise.**

Okay, so today isn’t actually a holiday. Or at least not one I’m aware of. But it IS the first day of the Oklahoma Sooner football season.

You may have thought from past posts that I am a KU Jayhawk fan through and through. Not true. Oh, it’s true enough come basketball season, but my football season love (no split loyalties here!) is the Oklahoma Sooners. OU is where I grew to like football; OU is where I grew to love football. One of my biggest regrets was never going to an OU-Texas game when I had a chance.

Being a Sooner fan on the east coast most certainly can be challenging. I don’t get to see as many games as I would like to (though I try to arrange to babysit for people with cable TV or satellite on key game nights) nor do I get to talk Sooner football with anyone. It’s kinda like celebrating an American holiday overseas.

My OU football self has never really clashed with my KU basketball self (which is the way I was raised) until this past football season. I distinctly remember a night over Christmas break duking it out with my parents and my brother about whether OU or KU were better in football that year. It was before the bowl games (where we were defeated by a team of the conference that I all too quickly discredited and KU won heartily) otherwise I might not have argued as strongly that OU was better.

I don’t expect there to be any question this year of which team was better. When we meet on the field, October 18, Oklahoma will prove that they are better.

So, enjoy this first day of real football and get on that couch!

A college friend is in town visiting me this weekend, so I thought today’s School Day Memory would be from college. My last semester of college, in fact. College isn’t particularly ripe with school memories, as most memories occured then outside the class setting. But there are two major memories of my last semester at OU that are definitely worth sharing.

I’m not a procrastinator. I panic if I have only a few days left to do a paper. I’m much more calm if I simply stretch out the work over a longer period of time, allowing myself to get things done at least a day ahead of the deadline.

My roommate in college wasn’t like that (though she has since reformed her ways). Neither was my other good friend, Mindy, who was like a roommate to us. They each would tend to write papers the night before they were due.

Towards the end of my college career, I realized I had never pulled an all-nighter. Not for a test, not for a paper. I simply wouldn’t do it; it’s not my style. But I realized that this was a part of the college experience, so I chose a minor paper in an easy class that was due the same day as one of Mindy’s papers and saved it until the night before (See, I didn’t even act like a procrastinator about it…I planned to write it that last night!).

Mindy and I went to the computer lab around 10 or 11 to start our paper. Even now those are very productive hours for me. I sat down and started sorting through the research I had for the short paper (I think it was 2 or 3 pages). After about 15 minutes I realized that pulling an all-nighter isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. Thankfully, I finished writing sometime around 1 or 2 and called it a night. I can promise you that I’ll never be doing that again! I turned what would usually be a mildly unpleasant experience into several hours of agony and torture.

The second memory from that last semester of college happened the night before my very last final. The final was in a freshman-level European history class. If you’re keeping score, you’ll realize that this is a subject I’m familiar with as I was a history major. Here I was in my last year, taking a general overview of European history something I had studied much more specifically in a couple other classes. Should be a piece of cake.

I was told beforehand not to take the professor. It was his last semester teaching and his method was simply to lecture. That’s not unusual for a college class, but there were no papers and no assigned reading (though we did have textbooks). He would simply expect us to process what we got from his lecture and be able to show our understanding (not just recall) of the material on the three essay tests.

I’ve never been much of an essay tester. Give me multiple-choice any day. After 2 or 3 hours of studying, I got a B on the first test. No problem, I’ll do better on the next one. After about the same amount of studying on the second test (after all, this go around we were studying the Protestant Reformation…that’s easy!), I got a C. Uh oh. That’s no good, but that doesn’t matter. The professor grades progressively, so if I show improvement on the final, I’ll easily get a B or even an A.

The night before the final, I was rather snippy with my roommate. She noticed that I wasn’t myself and asked me what was wrong. I hadn’t realized how I had been bottling up my feelings inside of me about moving out, moving away from my best friends, and finishing college (wow, this seems to be a theme on my blog!), and they exploded right there in our dorm room. The night I had planned on studying got derailed by out-of-control emotions. Instead of trying to learn all the important facts about the French Revolution, I simply watched Moulin Rouge and downed Mr. Pibb (a very poor substitute for Dr. Pepper, but sadly that was the closest I could get on OU’s campus) and chocolate. I think I was able to study a little by the time the night was through, but needless to say, I didn’t put in the effort needed to swing anything but a C in the class.

You’re probably thinking, “A C? So what?” And you’re right. It mattered nothing. I put maybe 7 hours of work into the class all semester which is the least of any class I’ve ever taken. The C didn’t change my GPA or keep me from graduating, but that was my first (and hopefully only!) C. The fact that it was in a freshman-level course in my major when I was a senior just makes it embarrassing.