Tag Archives: Control

Pride and Power Camp (repost)

Posted on by
Reply

I’m polished, organized, and in control. I am smart and funny, and have something to add to any conversation. I can handle any situation that comes up with poise and wit. Everything in my life is structured and follows according to my plan. I always know the right thing to say and do.

Or at least that’s how I want to come across. Lately though, God has been showing me that this is a matter of pride. Through teaching at church both Sunday morning and night and in personal time in God’s Word, the Bible, this has been the overarching theme that God has been making very clear to me. I need Him every moment of everyday, because I truthfully do not know what to say and do in every circumstance. Any “natural” ability I may have was already given by my Creator, and He is constantly providing me with spiritual help where I lack. I need His grace to handle every minute in a way that is honoring to Him.

This week I’m helping out with Power Camp, a sports camp put together by the FCA and my church. I’m responsible for leading the devotions for a group of about 15 children entering the 4th-7th grades, almost exclusively from the community. Because of work, I am only with the kids for the second half of camp, so I was quite frazzled yesterday as I tried to figure out how to handle it. This is certainly a situation where I need to rely on God for wisdom and patience, strength and boldness.

Please pray for these children that God would be working in their hearts. They have a great opportunity to hear the Gospel, study the Word, and interact personally with believers. There’s a good chance that some of these children have never been able to do any of those things before. I would also appreciate prayers for me that God would give me the words to say and the patience to show Christ’s love for them.

Originally posted 6-26-2007

Oh, For the Grace

Posted on by
3

Thanks for understanding about my break. The week went quickly, but it allowed me to get my feet underneath me as far as this blog goes.

As I know I’ve made abundantly clear on this blog, I love to set goals for myself and do them (well, I don’t always love doing them, but I love getting them done).

It’s very easy for me to think about my life as a follower of Christ in these terms. God wants me to read my Bible, check. God wants me to do kind things to others, check. God wants me to go to church, check.

The problem is that too often my life really is a series or checks.

That’s not how I should live or how I want to live.

More and more God has been showing me how much I do depend on Him for everything even when I don’t admit it or don’t let it show.

How humbling that is.

He’ll allow me to play like I have control over my world for a little while, but not forever.

And the more I recognize who really has control and power, the better I can serve Him and not myself.

Photo by Matt Carman

Under Control

Posted on by
6

This post is to all of my faithful readers who were itching for me to tackle a controversial subject again. I think this time I’ve definitely stepped in it!

This post is not intended to point fingers at anyone in particular but to share a troubling trend I’ve noticed. I’ve already shared how I struggle with trying to control every aspect of my life. So understand that I write this post knowing I share in the guilt, a guilt that should be no less troubling just because it’s common to many.

It amazes me how incredibly arrogant we modern Americans are. We think that we have the right to control our bodies, from removing wrinkles or adding curves to determining exactly when we conceive and with how many babies.

It’s not uncommon for a couple to spend years using birth control pills then turn around and use fertility drugs to conceive, something that their bodies may have been able to do without medical help before they subjected them to years of artificial hormones.

Perhaps–I’m saying this as a single virgin who wants kids, so maybe my opinion doesn’t count–we should let God determine these details.

I’m not necessarily against birth control methods–there are wise means and good motives to do so–but we have to understand that there are consequences to the decisions we make. If I say, “I don’t want to get pregnant until ________,” I have to recognize that God may not allow me to conceive when I’m good and ready.  After all, it is still God who opens and closes wombs, not a fertility pill or injection.

That’s my two cents on this issue. Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts in the comments.

Photo by hitthatswitch

FQF: Childish Addictions

Posted on by
7

1.  Are there any animals you refuse to touch?

I’ll touch anything, assuming a trainer is holding it, blah, blah, blah.  But will I hold any animals? Not really (the occasional small dog or cat, sure).

2.  Would you like to know the precise date of your future death?

Yes, I would.  But as soon as you told me, I wouldn’t.  The building anticipation in the years, months, and weeks before that date would be awful.

3.  What is made for kids but you love it anyway?

Lip Smacker lip gloss.  Hopelessly addicted to them.  Go through a “party pack” every couple of months.

4.  Ever been addicted to a video/computer game? Which one(s)?

Only once.  Sims 2, senior year of college.  After playing it more and more over a couple of months at the end of my first semester, I realized I had to give it up.  Thankfully, it was a friend’s game on her computer, so I didn’t have easy access to it.  I think I really liked it because I got to control a world.  It was basically the techie version of what I did as a child: make up names, ages, traits, etc of my many imaginary children.

5.  __ is life. The rest is just details. Fill in the blank.

Jesus.

Control Hog

Posted on by
7

Thanks to Jen for basically writing the last couple of paragraphs of this post. It’s humbling (and ironic) to not even know how to finish my thoughts on this subject.

I’m a woman of control.

Or at least that’s what I want.

My problem (okay, one of them) is that I think I know best.  About everything.  Not only do I think I know what’s best for those around me, I think I know what’s best for me, too.  Always have, just ask my mom.

The thing is, I don’t.  I might be blessed with worldly smarts, but I’m still sorely lacking in true wisdom.  As we’ve been walking through Solomon’s life in my kindergarten Sunday school class, we’ve been talking a lot about wisdom.  I think the best way to learn a concept is to have to try to explain it to a 5-year-old…there are so many concepts I can’t quite get across to them (glory, the Trinity).  If you ask them, I hope they can tell you that we’ve talked about how wisdom is knowing what is right and good.

The older I get (and in theory, the wiser I get), the more I realize that I’m like a 3 on a scale of 100 of possible human wisdom.  At most.

Last week I realized that I’m okay with my singleness as long as I in my earthly “wisdom” can decipher out a way out.  And as far as singleness goes, the way I want out is a man, a plan, and a ring by spring…or at least by next spring.

Hmm, that doesn’t sound like contentment to me.

Just shows me that I still demand control of my own life, my own future.  That I prefer my plans to whatever God has in store for me, as foolish as that is.  I know that God knows what’s best for me (He knows me better than myself!), but somehow I can’t get that to truly stick in my daydreaming head.

It’s times like this that I have to remind myself that I have been fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) and that the very hairs on my head are numbered (Matthew 10:30)–gray or not–and that before one day of my life came to pass, God ordained each of them (Psalm 139:16).  How foolish I am to think that I would know more than Him!  How can I know myself better than the one who knit me in my mother’s womb (v. 13)?

Moment by moment, I must make the choice to trust Him in His infinite wisdom.  I give Him the reigns one night, only to rip them back from him minutes, or at most, hours later.  It is only when I trust Him that I can truly find contentment.

God, help me remember that.

Photo by Drunken Monkey

Pride and Power Camp

Posted on by
Reply

I’m polished, organized, and in control. I am smart and funny, and have something to add to any conversation. I can handle any situation that comes up with poise and wit. Everything in my life is structured and follows according to my plan. I always know the right thing to say and do.

Or at least that’s how I want to come across. Lately though, God has been showing me that this is a matter of pride. Through teaching at church both Sunday morning and night and in personal time in God’s Word, the Bible, this has been the overarching theme that God has been making very clear to me. I need Him every moment of everyday, because I truthfully do not know what to say and do in every circumstance. Any “natural” ability I may have was already given by my Creator, and He is constantly providing me with spiritual help where I lack. I need His grace to handle every minute in a way that is honoring to Him.

This week I’m helping out with Power Camp, a sports camp put together by the FCA and my church. I’m responsible for leading the devotions for a group of about 15 children entering the 4th-7th grades, almost exclusively from the community. Because of work, I am only with the kids for the second half of camp, so I was quite frazzled yesterday as I tried to figure out how to handle it. This is certainly a situation where I need to rely on God for wisdom and patience, strength and boldness.

Please pray for these children that God would be working in their hearts. They have a great opportunity to hear the Gospel, study the Word, and interact personally with believers. There’s a good chance that some of these children have never been able to do any of those things before. I would also appreciate prayers for me that God would give me the words to say and the patience to show Christ’s love for them.

Pride and Worry

Posted on by
Reply

To all my friends: I haven’t forgotten you. This semester has been rough, and I’ve been thrown off my schedule. Forgive me for not keeping in contact like I should. I really do love you all and want to continue keeping contact with you. I long for heaven when our fellowship with the Lord and with one another will be sweet and uninterrupted!

I pride myself on having everything together. I love it when people compliment me on my organization and discipline. Notice the sin in this: pride, thinking I am self-caused and self-sufficient. God has been humbling me and making me realize that I need Him more and more. I cannot do this alone. I need to rely on God for strength, courage, and rest.

I know most of you are struggling at this time of year as well. Remember that God will never give you more than you can handle, at least not more than you can handle with His help. Seek Him in everything you do.

The Lord Jesus said: “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” – Matthew 6:33-34 NASU

I Lost Control

Posted on by
2

Thursday night I lost the remote control. I’ve never done this before, and it really bothered me. I looked long and hard in the living room and my room (which are not messy). It got me thinking about the irony that I lost control, something I NEVER like to do. I like to be in charge of things, which can be a problem. The worst of it is when I try to control God. Of course I fail, but that’s not the point. We’re to be submissive to God’s will always! This is something that I’ve been working on lately.

In other news, I have laryngitis. I think I get it more than anyone else I know. Maybe I talk too much? (no, you don’t have to answer that!) It certainly causes a problem when I answer the phone when people call in to work. Fortunately, everyone so far has been able to understand me.

Oh, and in case you wanted to know, my roommate’s boyfriend found the remote control in the couch cushions last night. Yes, I did look there.