In a depraved world, there’s all kinds of things that could make me sad.  Lately, one that has stood out to me over and over again is the ugliness of divorce.

While I do believe that the Bible allows for divorce in certain cases (a subject for another post), there is something incredibly wrong with our society when divorce is not only common, but often encouraged when either party as warrant to feel wronged or unhappy.

As an unintentionally single woman*, I can’t really speak to how to make a marriage last.  When I get married, I know it won’t be as easy as it seems on this side of the altar (not that I think it’ll be easy).

Lord willing, I’ll have a loving church family to walk beside me and show me how to be a loving, faithful wife.  I know I’ll need it.

But what can someone in my place do now to help keep myself from a failed marriage? Here are some ideas I’ve gathered from more people and books than I could possibly list:

1.  Know that love is a choice. While it’s also a feeling, deciding to marry someone is choosing to love them even if/when the feeling leaves.

2.  Don’t expect him to be perfect.

3.  If you get together while he’s married to someone else, how can you accept his commitment to love you forever?

4.  Know him before he’s pursuing you so that you’ll have a better idea of his true character (not just his wooing-character).

5.  Focus first on seeking repentance and forgiveness for your own sin before pointing out his (Matthew 7:3-5).

6.  Learn to be submissive to the authorities in your life now (parents (if applicable), pastors, bosses, and God).

7.  Develop a servant’s heart, eyes, and hands; desiring, looking for, and acting on opportunities to serve others.

I know this list is far from complete…what do you think I should add?  I’m especially looking from help from those of you who are or have been married!

*Phrase comes from Connally Gilliam’s book Revelations of a Single Woman

Photo by Donna62