Ignorant Historian

This morning has already been rather frusterating, as much so towards myself as to anyone else. It bugs me that I’m not able to separate my emotions from my work and from the times I have to deal with credit card companies, video rental stores and people not giving me the information I need. I suppose that’s not a bad thing, but I really can’t stand my emotions sometimes because I feel like I should be just a rational being, logically making my cases.

One example of how I let my emotions sinfully get in the way:

I received a call from the video store this morning saying that I have 3 movies still due.  I know I returned them on Monday, when they were due.  I know the store doesn’t open until 10, but I thought if there was an employee there to pick up the phone, it might be easier to do before it opens.  I call at 9:15, and a man politely answers.  I tell him the deal, and then…

Polite Video Store Dude: We don’t open until 10.

Me (rudely, if I do say so myself): I thought if you could answer the phone you could help me.

Polite Video Store Dude: It’d be rude not to pick up the phone.

Me: Not as rude as not helping me when you answer the phone. [Yikes...did I really say that???]  Never mind, I’ll call back.

It’s not bad enough that I was rude to someone on the phone, I know this dude.  The store is within walking distance of my house, and I’m always going there.  I have rappor with the guys that work there.  When I call back in a few minutes, he’s going to know it’s the same person, and I’m going to have to give him my name, so now he’ll know who was being rude to him.

He wasn’t even the problem.  Though I don’t know why he would answer the phone if he couldn’t help someone, he wasn’t the one who didn’t check in my movies (okay maybe it was, but I don’t know that).  He wasn’t the one who didn’t send me the right information to complete this grant application.  He wasn’t the one who is not answering the phone when I call them (quite the opposite, actually).  Yet I took out my frusteration on him.

Though my emotions were out of hand, that wasn’t the full problem.  I allowed my emotions to rule me.  They ain’t king, so why do I let them be?  That doesn’t mean that my emotions should be ignored or suppressed, but they should be placed under self-control and in proper relationship to God.

Today’s verse: “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” – Psalm 46:1, NASU

Definitely helps me put things into perspective.