Tag Archives: God

Sadness, Loss, and Hope

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I’m emotionally raw. Staying up too late last night watching coverage of the rescue and recovery efforts in Moore hasn’t helped that.

I know I don’t talk about it much these days, but Oklahoma is near and dear to my heart. I spent 4 years of growth there, making lots of memories, getting to know lifelong friends, and (occasionally) studying.

In 1999, I was still living in Kansas, where we experienced our own May 3rd tornado. When I moved to Norman (one suburb over from Moore) in 2001, I remember watching the community grow and rebuild after that tornado with the highest recorded winds in history. Then in 2003, during final’s week, a tornado hits Moore again as we huddled up in our dorm fifteen minutes away.

When I heard yesterday’s storm was headed to Moore again, I couldn’t believe it. How does a community as small as Moore handle yet another storm? To see tragedy strike anywhere isn’t easy, but it’s not hard to think of it as just a news story.

After being away from the area for 8 years, I don’t have too many friends there anymore. Still, I know these people, these neighborhoods, these landmarks. For me, this was not one of the things you think, “Oh, that’s sad” and immediately turn your attention elsewhere.

Hearing about the school struck with a direct hit of this massive tornado made me instantly think of Newtown. It wasn’t long before the news coverage went there as well. To the news  anchors, it was the heroic acts of the teachers in the face of imminent death that was the connecting link. There’s definitely a story there.

But more than that, I pondered the link between the two as consequences for sin. Please read this carefully, because sometimes statements like this can be misunderstood and/or stripped of their context. I know others still have made statements like this and have meant that natural disasters are a direct judgment on specific people for specific sins. That’s not what I’m saying here.

Both cases like Newtown and natural disasters are caused by sin. In the case of the former, it’s the individual(s) perpetrating the crime who are sinning, following our first father and the sin nature that is in each one of us. But natural disasters, too, are caused by sin.

Because of the original sin (and each and every one thereafter), we live in a fallen world where such things as super-tornadoes can and do happen. Not primarily as “acts of God” (though they are within the sovereignty of God) but as indirect “acts of man.”

Were those affected by this storm more guilty than you or me? No. We all bear the guilt.

At the same time, through the death of the perfect Son of God on our behalf, we have the right to draw near to the One who comforts and heals. I pray that during this time of loss and tragedy more people will be drawn towards the only One who can provide eternal relief to our sad plight.

Come quickly, Lord Jesus.

I shameless borrowed that illustration from Facebook. If you made it, let me know and I’d be happy to credit you or take it down. Thank you.

Worst Day of the Year

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Today, Valentine’s Day, is supposed to be the worst day of the year for me as a 30-year-old single woman.

Or at least that’s what everyone tells me.

I refuse to accept that.

I love Valentine’s Day. I remember sitting on my bedroom floor with my sticker-decorated shoebox full of valentines, reading them over and over. Sending and receiving cards is definitely my favorite part of this holiday. That alone would be enough to make me enjoy this holiday. But then you add in chocolate, pink, hearts, and flowers. What’s not to love?

Today I’m enjoying the holiday with a treat exchange at work and a small celebratory thank you for my outbound boss (she’s moving to another department). Saturday, I’m having a few other fabulous single ladies for a holiday dinner, something I hope to make a tradition. I know that not every single woman embraces this holiday, so I want to know that they’re loved. Loved by me, but more importantly, by our God in heaven.

So don’t tell me this holiday isn’t for me. It’s for all of us.

Photo by Lori Greig

A Hundredfold

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This week, my pastor preached the parable of the sower. If you’re not familiar with this story, you can read it in Matthew 13.

It was a great sermon, which I recommend listening to (you can do so here). It’s certainly a familiar story to me, but I noticed something that I never have before. Verse 23:

“And the one on whom seed was sown on the good soil, this is the man who hears the word and understands it; who indeed bears fruit and brings forth, some a hundredfold, some sixty, and some thirty.”

This verse refers to those who hear the good news and act on it. But did you see that? They all may be fruitful, but not the same extent. Some produce thirty or sixtyfold, but then there are those who produce a hundredfold. They’re all fruitful (how could they not be if they have the Holy Spirit?), but not to the same degree.

I want to be the soil that yields a hundredfold. God’s work in and through me is only hindered by my own limitations. Each time I choose to serve myself, I miss an opportunity to be useful for God’s kingdom. If that’s really want, why do I so often choose to serve myself and my own pleasures?

To be honest, I don’t see much point in doing the Christian life partway. If I’ve bet on Jesus, I’m going all in. No excuses for holding back.

I know that my salvation has already been earned by Jesus’ work on the cross. In fact, that’s my motivation to give my life wholly to Him. It’s the least that I can do.

Photo by Jonny Boy

Made to Move

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As I got back into the pool last week (between hiking, the temporary closing of my favorite pool, and busyness, I’ve let myself get away from this for a couple of months), I once again pondered why I liked swimming so much.

I think the big draw for me is the sensory deprivation. All I see (through fogged-up goggles) is the bottom of the pool, the ceiling, then the bottom of the pool again. All I hear is my own rhythmic splashing and the occasional muffled shout or whistle from someone on the other side of the pool. All I can feel is the soothing, warm water. The task before me requires no thought: I’ve done it hundreds of times before. My mind wonders where it will, allowing me to process my day without any distraction.

But that’s not the only draw. I think exercise has it’s own appeal in and of itself. Professionals might tell you about the endorphin or other physical byproducts of exercise that creates a good sensation when you workout, but I don’t know much about all that. What I do know is that we were created by a loving God to move.

The good God who gives us pleasant sensations when we do the most menial tasks of life (eating, drinking, and going to the bathroom), also gives us pleasant feelings when we do the harder tasks. This was an accident.

We were never designed to sit on our duffs for the majority of our days. Throughout all cultures, sitting for long stretches was reserved for the sick, disabled, and elderly, not for people with able bodies. Sitting was a luxury, anyway, as most people (in history, and even today in the greater world) have to physical exert themselves to meet their own needs and the needs of their families.

I want to making movement more of a part of my life. I always drive to the grocery store, but really, it’s less than a mile away. Most weeks, I don’t buy enough food to be overly encumbered on a mile walk back home. I opt for the drive thru instead of walking in (or better yet, making the food myself). I mindlessly followed the culture around me in these habits, but I want to work on making movement a habit.

Photo by Adam Tinworth

End of the World

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If you’re reading this, let’s assume that the world didn’t end (and not that you were someone how in on it and decided to check my blog before you decided to populate the earth with your little alien babies).

While much has been made of today, some serious, most not, I know that some people hold a real fear of end-of-the-world possibilities. I don’t want to make light of those fears. Fear can be a healthy emotion. When in check, it helps us make reasonable decisions.

For example, fear from the recent tragedy in Connecticut may lead us to keep our children home with us at all times (unreasonable, irrational, and unhealthy), but it also may lead us to take reasonable precautions to guard our children.

Fear can grow out of hand when we’re not grounded in the truth of Scripture. In uneasy times, we have to remember that God never changes. He is not taken by surprise and ultimately His purposes will come about.

And that’s where our peace should come from.

This Time of Year

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It’s my favorite time of year.

Growing up, I never knew how to answer the typical icebreaker question, “What’s your favorite season?” I was always torn: I love the hot weather of summer (but never liked being out of school), but my favorite events all happen in the winter, when I dislike the weather. Looking at it now, I realize what a grace this is not to have all the good parts of the year all at once.

As Lucy says to the thought of it always being winter without the hope of Christmas, “How awful!”

It’s hard to put my finger on what exactly I love about this time of year. I love giving and receiving gifts, of course, but that’s not all of it. I also selfishly love the attention I get on my birthday. But what I think I love the most about this time of year is the warmth. The warmth I feel when I look at my Christmas tree or sing along with my favorite Christmas songs. The warmth I feel when I’m nestled between my parents on their couch. The warmth I share when I write words from my heart to those I love.

Above all, the warmth of God’s love when I consider the fact that He willingly humbled Himself, being born a helpless baby in a poor family.

And I don’t want to lose the wonder of that Christmas miracle.

Photo by VancityAllie

A Year Since My World Changed

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A year ago this week, I found out for sure I was losing my job and then had my last day. I found out on a Wednesday that we would be closing down, and then my last day was the following Monday. Very fast.

I had known for some months before that it was possible and was in fact starting to consider what I wanted to do next, regardless. But if you had asked me, I would not have chosen to be let go and go through almost 3 months of unemployment. My planning, in-control self would have much preferred to have gone from job to another on my own timing, not on timing forced upon me.

But God had bigger, better plans for me.

I learned a lot from those months of unemployment, and probably will never learn the full extent of how God used that time this side of heaven. While a job change is life-altering in itself, going through the uncertainty of that time shook me in ways that will only reveal itself in time.

As thankful as I am for that time of unemployment, I’m very glad to be on the other side of it. Since I can’t realistically expect I’ll never be forced into unemployed again, I hope that I’m better equipped for the next time. If nothing else, I can look back to last year and gain new hope in God and His care.

Book Review: Beauty Will Save the World by Brian Zahnd

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I read a lot of books about the Christian faith, and sometimes they start to blend together. Beauty Will Save the World: Rediscovering the Allure and Ministry of Christianity by Brian Zahnd definitely stands out in the crowd.

Zahnd has some harsh but needful things to say to the Western evangelical church. His premise is that, “Christianity as the ongoing expression of the Jesus story lived out in the lives of individuals and in the heart of society is a beauty that can redeem the world” (p. 2).

That, in itself, perhaps doesn’t sound radically different than the gospel preached from most pulpits and most Christian speakers and thinkers. I think that most would agree with the premise, as far as it goes. But that’s the problem…that’s as far as most of us go. We talk a good game, but we don’t really think about what it means. We know that the Gospel story is awesome, beautiful and wonderful…or at least we say it is.

I find it incredibly easy to come at my faith in a individualistic, pragmatic, no-nonsense way. I’m a good American like that. But there is mystery and beauty in the truths of God that cannot and shouldn’t be explained away.

I am so glad I read this book, and I hope you will, too. There are still implications that I’m trying to ponder through. What does seeing the Christian story as fundamentally beautiful mean for how I view worship? How I speak about God? How I seek Him and share His truths with others?

This is definitely a book that is going to stick with me.

Chosen

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Photo by 2 little banshees

I haven’t written about singleness in a while. (The last time I did, I started with this same sentence, so it’d also be accurate to say I haven’t written about singleness frequently, either.) While I don’t think my relationship status defines me, it is a part of who I am.

I’m still at peace with being single with no prospect of change in sight. As I near my 30th birthday, I know that this will continue to be something that I’ll think about often. Perhaps I’ll struggle with contentment again. I just don’t know.

While I can honestly say that I am happy with my life, if there was one thing about marriage that I particularly desire, it’s the idea of being chosen. The idea that there’s one person who picked me over all others. It’d probably indicate he’s crazy, but so am I.

But if I think about it, I have something much better. God chose me while I was still a sinner. It’s not based on anything I have/will/can do for him.

And that’s better than being chosen by a mere man.

Where Does Our Hope Lie? (re-post)

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In spite of the gloomy weather, the impending crowning of Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, and the prospect of tomorrow’s New Testament test, I’m feeling upbeat. You know why? Because none of this caught God off guard. He’s not thinking, “Uh oh! What do I do now?” What allows me to be filled with joy in this world of shifting sand is the constancy of the Creator who is ever faithful and ever true to His words that He’s so generously recorded for us in the Bible. Instead of looking at the waves and the wind, I need to focus on the steady arm of our Heavenly Father and the marvelous work done by His Son, Jesus Christ, on the cross.

What pessimism those who don’t have an all powerful, all good God must have! Where lies their hope? In themselves? I know I frequently let myself down. In humanity? One look at the many genocides and wars of the 20th century would cloud your outlook at any hope of an utopian society. In money? One tumultuous day on the stock market or one thief could take that all away. In a loved one? They may be here today, and gone tomorrow.

No, these things provide little realistic hope that tomorrow will be better than today, or that today will even be better than yesterday. Instead, let me join with Habakkuk and say,

“Though the earthly things I counted on do not come to pass,
Though my money and resources are taken away,
Though the people around me fail me,
And though the political future looks dim,
“Yet I will exult in the LORD,
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.
The Lord GOD is my strength,
And He has made my feet like hinds’ feet,
And make me walk on my high places.”
-Habakkuk 3:18-19 NASU

Thank you for allowing me to candidly speak from my heart.

Originally posted 11/8/2006