These Nights are Numbered

I’m tired of going to bed alone.

I don’t mean that in a sexual sense, just that singleness seems synonymous with loneliness the most at bedtime.  I can fill the rest of my life with fulfilling relationships, but this is one area where that just won’t do.

The other night was one of those nights where I just can’t get myself to go to bed because it’s hard to remove all the distractions I use to keep from remembering I’m alone.  These nights aren’t that frequent, but when they happen, they’re overwhelming.

But Saturday I found hope in this:  These nights are numbered.  Of course, I’d like to think that they’re numbered because I’ll soon have a partner in life, but even if that’s not true (or never will be true), they are still numbered as my days on this earth are thankfully numbered.  One day, God will save me from this world (via His returning or my death) and there will be no more lonely nights, no more tears.

“And He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.” – Revelation 21:4, NASU

If you are a follower of Christ, you have the same hope.  Whatever misery you know or trial you are facing, these days are numbered.  That’s not the only hope…we also know that God will give us the grace to handle whatever situation we find ourselves in.  But sometimes, knowing that this too shall pass is a greater comfort.

If you’re not a believer in Jesus Christ, you are right to be hopeless.  I don’t mean that there isn’t any hope–God has/is offering you the same hope in Jesus Christ–but if you refuse this hope, life really is hopeless.

These nights will continue to be hard, but I’ll take heart in remembering that they are numbered.

Photo by Gord McKenna

This is Not Christmas

christmas_bootiesChristmas is filled with fun times with the friends you care the most about.

This is not Christmas.

Christmas is cozing up with your family by the fire.

This is not Christmas.

Christmas is finally being free of the bonds of schoolwork.

This is not Christmas.

Christmas is a home decorated in tinsel and green.

This is not Christmas.

Christmas is a mailbox full of Christmas cards.

This is not Christmas.

Christmas is the celebration of God humbling himself, taking on the flesh of sinful man, being born a baby.  The greatest gift I could ask for on this or any holiday.  The incarnation that made our salvation possible.

Indeed, this is Christmas.

Photo by funkyshapes

Much to be Thankful For

thanksgiving_food

I thank God He’s given me food on my table in abundance.

hug

I thank God that He’s given me family and friends who love me and show me more grace than I deserve.

plane_wing

I thank God for giving us quick travel that I may visit my family who’s over 1,000 miles away on this day.

my_desk

I thank God for giving me not only a well-paying job in these times, but a job that I like.

Bible

I thank God for allowing me to be part of a church who, though not perfect, is seeking to grow together towards christlikeness.

stone_cross

Most of all, I thank God for giving His Son to save a wretch like me.

So happy Thanksgiving, and remember to thank God for the many blessings he’s given you…no matter how many or how few, they’re more than we deserve.

Photos by CarbonNYC, Julie McLeod,  aka Kath, me, Phillie Casablanca, and DrGBB

Words

Melissa, AKA the Scholastic Scribe, gave me 5 words.  In turn, I’m to write about these words and what they mean to me.  Comprendo?  Let’s go! (There’s a bit of audience involvement at the end…don’t be shy!)

Here are my words.  I must say, she did a great job of picking them out…they are words I’m passionate about!

laptop keyboard - declantm

Blogging

To be honest, I don’t really remember why I started blogging.  I wanted to keep up with my friends, I suppose, but that was rather fleeting.  When I started 3 years ago, I had no idea that I’d grow to love it so much.  From the opportunity I have to practice and share my writing to the great comments I receive, there’s so much to love about blogging.

Faith

cross red

Now this one’s a biggie, isn’t it?  If you’ve read the Ignorant Historian for any length of time, you know my faith is important to me.  It’s more than an intellectual pursuit or an emotional fulfillment.  It’s really all about the object of my faith, the Lord Jesus Christ.  He’s my Creator, Savior, and Sustainer, and because of that, I owe Him everything.

You probably also know that I don’t like to leave my faith at the church steps when I leave Sunday afternoon.  Though I’m by no means perfect, I strive to apply my faith to every aspect of my life, from my interactions with others to how I spend my free time.

Friends

I don’t talk a whole lot about them on the blog, but I have some great friends.  I’m at a time in my life where I don’t have as many friends as I’ve had before, but the ones that I have are deep ones.  I’m thankful they put up with my quirkiness (really, you don’t see half of it on the blog) and that they’re willing to share life with me.  Without my friends, I’d probably be a hermitress, so I definitely owe them for that.

Words

reference books

So, one of my words is “words.”  Quite circular, no?  I really do like words…when I write a blog post I sometimes spend several minutes agonizing over the just right word.  For me, it’s not about picking out the biggest word, it’s about picking the most accurate word.  I try to leave no room for interpretation so that I’m not misunderstood.  Come to think about it, this might also contribute to my disinterest in poetry…so often the words can be taken multiple ways.  I just wish that I could be as careful about my oral speech!

History

Obviously, I like history or I wouldn’t have called this blog the Ignorant Historian (though that itself is taken from the Jane Austen quote, something else I love!).  I was a history major in my undergrad, and several of my favorite courses were history classes, whether at OU or at seminary.

temple ruins

When I was deciding on whether or not to be a history major during my junior year (my other two options I was considering were linguistics and letters–history, philosophy, and languages), I took a class in colonial South American history.  That’s when I fell in love…the professor was a storyteller.

Really, that’s what history is, stories about people.  I don’t get how many people *cough* my current and former roommates *cough* don’t like history.  Perhaps they’ve never had a good history professor, so they’ve come to think of history as a collection of uninteresting facts.  That’s not it at all!

So there are my 5 words.  Now it’s your turn…would you like 5 words?  Just ask in the comments, and I’ll serve you up 5 personalized words for you to ponder and write about!

Photos by DeclanTM, Resclassic2, Muffet, and phault

The Danger of the Adjective “Christian”

I hinted at this post in the comments section a couple of weeks ago, but now I’m diving in.

I don’t like the adjective “Christian.”

[Take a deep breath.]

No, I’m not one of those who wants to throw out the term “Christian” altogether.  It’s in the Bible, and I think it’s a great term.  Sure it’s been misused, and that’s why I often identify myself as a “follower of Christ,” but I don’t think we should give it up.  After all who wouldn’t want to be called after the name of their Lord and Savior?

I just wish that we wouldn’t use it as an adjective, or at least not use it so indiscriminately.  For those who hate grammar, I’m saying that I’m fine with sentences like “He is a Christian” but don’t like phrases that begin with “Christian”: Christian music, Christian fiction, Christian bookstores, etc.

There’s two major problems I’ve seen with using “Christian” this way.  First of all–and most seriously–we risk labeling something Christian that is not godly, or at least that we haven’t taken the time to determine if it is godly.  Here are a couple quotes that I think bring this point home:

“The danger of labeling things ‘Christian’ is that it can lead to our blindly consuming things we have been told are safe and acceptable.  When we turn off this discernment radar, dangerous things can happen.” – Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell, p. 86

“In short, we are easily deceived by cultural values painted in Christian veneers (or clothed in Isaiah 40:31 T-shirts).” – “The Gospel and the Gosselins” by Julie Vermeer Elliott in Christianity Today

Just because something is labeled “Christian,” does not mean it is in line with the teachings of that term’s namesake.  I’ve read many a Christian book, heard many a Christian song, watched many a Christian video (okay, only a few, because I haven’t seen that many) that has made me cringe because of the poor teaching it was presenting, everything from the misguided to the blasphemous.

As a Christian, I’m called to be discerning in every choice I make, from the type of entertainment I imbibe to the type of thoughts I intake and make my own.  In a way, God’s asking that we never turn off our brains.  Every moment requires active attention.  We should be asking questions like,

What is this author really saying?

How do these lyrics affect my view of myself, others, and God?

What view of the Word of God does this video present?

While many Christians are quick to point out that which clearly is not biblical (e.g. Playboy or Phillip Pullman’s novels), we forget that the most dangerous untruths often present themselves as half-truths.  Things that present themselves in Christian clothing often demand the most scrutiny.

So that’s the first danger, passively taking in as good that which we haven’t determined that is good.  Secondly, we risk labeling something Christian that  is simply of poor quality. 

This is clearly the less substantial danger of the two, but it’s something to consider.  Let’s face it, your average piece of “Christian fiction” is of lower quality than your average piece of fiction.  There’s a big market for things with the word “Christian” on them, and publishers and companies are more than willing to cater to the demand if it’ll gain them an extra buck or two.  Sure, there’s some good stuff out there with the “Christian” label, but it’s not all good.  By allowing this stuff to masquerade around as “Christian” we’re allowing the world to continue to view us stereotypically as uneducated simpletons.

I’m not seeking to throw out the baby with the bath water, but I am urging my fellow Christians to be discerning.  If you’d like a great resource on where to get started, I couldn’t recommend something better than Tim Challies’s The Discipline of Spiritual Discernment.  It’s not a book of rules, but rather a look at what the Bible has to say about discernment.

Why I Believe in God

Recently, a friend asked me why I believe in God.  So much of what I write here has that as a base assumption, but I shouldn’t assume everyone thinks on the subject of God’s existance, because I know many of you don’t.  Here’s my answer, only slightly edited:

You asked me why do I believe in God, and as I said, it’s two-fold.  First, it logically makes sense…though I grew up with many of the same truths that I hold today, by and large, they aren’t unquestioned.  I’ve studied, compared, and pondered and while I by no means have everything figured out, I’ve never found anything that is uncompatability within my worldview and how it relates to the real world (or when I have, I’ve changed it).  I think that my worldview will continue to be refined for the rest of my life, or as long as I commit to seeking truth.

Secondly, and the part that is way more than academic (and because of that seems more “real”), is the emotional/spiritual side, whatever you want to call it.  I’ve had too many situations that may be explained away as coincidences by some, but I can’t logically believe that I’ve had so many fortuitous coincidences…the simpler explanation to me is that there is a God who is working in my life and the lives of those around me.  One example is that in last Friday’s mail I received the exact sum (from 3 different people) needed to make my first Turkey payment due two days later.  Repeat this type of occurance over and over, and you have a good idea why I believe that these things are answers to prayers, not cosmic accidents.

But then there’s the bad stuff.  As you know, I’ve had very little evil in my life and I can only crossthank God that He spared me, because there’s so much out there.  Even in the little hardship I’ve faced (like the fire, or my ongoing, rather unwanted singleness), the good that came from it was quite apparent.  I don’t mean to intimate that this is always the case.  You’ve already faced more evil and hardship than I’m likely to ever see God-forbid.  I don’t think that I have all the answers to this, but rest assured that because the greatest evil ever done was our putting Jesus Christ, our innocent Lord, to death with our sins, God understands and has purposes far larger than we can see.  My biggest question for God is why did He ever create man in the first place knowing that we would be such wretched messes?

I don’t expect you to go, “by jolly, I’ve got it!” when you read this, but I do hope that it was helpful, if only to understand me a bit better.  I know there’s nothing I can say to convince you, nor would I want to.  I’d seriously love to hear your thoughts on this.

And that goes for all of you as well, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this!

Photo by lfar

Gay Worms?

I wrote this post a year and a half ago.  The study I mention is not so new anymore, but that’s not the point of the post.

What I’m about to write could be offensive to someone who holds different views than me. Know that I am writing this not to be hurtful or insensitive, but as an attempt to speak truth to a controversial issue.

Are gay men and women born gay? The culture has leaned more towards answering “yes,” but I’ve always leaned towards “no.” Most homosexuals argue that they have always had those feelings, and I certainly can’t argue with that since I’m not them. A recent study from the University of Utah on worms found that you can trigger an apparently heterosexual female worm to be attracted to other female worms and act just like a male worm. This study is complicated further by the fact that this particular species of worms actually have both eggs and sperm, but that’s not the point at all.

Though this is a very limited study and is a long way from proving that humans can be born gay, let’s for argument’s sake say that sexual orientation is a trait that we are born with. Okay, that doesn’t make homosexuality any less sinful. A sin is a sin.

From the fall, man and the rest of creation have been corrupt. God original design of marriage has been marred by polygamy, divorce, adultery, and homosexuality. We are ALL sinners, but have various temptations. Just because it might seem easy and natural to follow my own sin patterns (and it certainly does) does not make it any less sinful. The sin is in the choice to follow the temptation (whether to relish a thought or to carry it out), not in the temptation itself.

I’m thankful that in Jesus Christ there is hope for all sinners, even one as vile as I.

Though you, my dear readers, have been nothing but the best, I want to remind you to be civil and respectful of all people and all viewpoints in the comments section. That said, I DO want to hear your comments!

Happy Summer!

Before I go any further, I want to say:

Happy Birthday, Amanda!  I’m so glad that you’re joining our family.  I hope this next year will be filled with happiness and delights!

Summer may just be my favorite season.  As far as weather goes, it’s hard to beat warm weather for its flip-flop-wearing and jacket-neglecting properties.  Sure it can be sweaty too, but I don’t mind it that much, because cool showers in the summer are enjoyable, too.

The good thing about being a student? (Okay, there’s several good things.)  I can decide when summer begins.

Every year, summer beings the moment I walk out of the test or turn in the last paper or project.  Since I have no classes, papers, or projects (or at least none of the educational kind), I decide when summer begins.  Of course, I can’t make the weather cooperate (though it has…it’s been 90s for a few days now!), but I can ACT like it’s summer, right?

So, with that, I’ve decided that summer starts this week.  I’m reseting my habits and recommiting to my goals.  I’ve let good things slip and let bad habits in, so I’m working on reversing that.  I’m working on these things because they’re for my good.  When I let them slip, I become self-indulgent which is a horrible way for a Christian to live.  How can I put Christ and others before myself if I’m constantly serving myself?

And because I know you’ll ask, here’s what I’m working on:

1.  Not eating out unless my schedule absolutely dictates it.  I’ve slipped up in this area a lot recently, and it begets a pattern of laziness and self-indulgence.

2.  Getting back into my nightly reading.  I still have been reading, but it’s just been fun stuff.

3.  Putting in serious time in the Word and prayer.  Hate to say that this has been neglected lately.

4.  Watching TV less.  A friend recently fixed our Internet, and I’ve been overloading on watching TV online.  Of course, this directly leads to #2.

5.  Exercise.  I still haven’t made it back to the pool (if you look closely, my legs resemble a forest right now), but I want to at least get in a walk around our neighborhood in the evenings.

I Keep Thinking of Titles I’ve Already Used

It’s Friday, so let’s keep it light, why don’t we?  I have a test this morning to complete my training. (This very well might be the last one…it’ll be my fifth.  I don’t think I’ve had to take this many tests for any one of my classes!)

But the true test is how you grade me on my answers to these questions…

Rebecca Jo asks, “How old were you when you came to Christ?”

I was 10.  You can read my testimony here.

 Also, “What is your favorite childhood memory?”

Favorite?  Yikes.  I had a wonderful childhood (Amanda, this touches on your question, too…I’ll try to incorporate more stories of childhood in the weeks to come), so it’s hard to say what my favorite is as it’s not like I had one glorious trip to Disney World in the midst of an otherwise dull childhood.  Everything was great.

The memory that I always say is my favorite–though I don’t know that it is–is one time my dad was showing my brother and I a funnel cloud, pointing out where a funnel would start to drop from the sky as we were watching from our garage.  Sure enough it did, right when my mom started yelling for us to go inside.  Ahh, to grow up in Kansas.  It was this memory that prompted me to pursue meteorology, a thought I abandoned after realized I wasn’t that passionate for it after all.

And,  “What does the perfect life look like to you?”

Oh, I think mine’s pretty much there.  Just add in a smidgen more discipline, and probably a man (okay, definitely a man).  I suppose I should work on what I can do about the first…

I still plan on writing what my 1 year, 5 year, and 10 year outlooks on my life look like, and I’ll talk more about where I want to be heading (and yes, ideally it would have a man in the picture).

“…& let’s see… what’s your favorite smell?”

Apple pie.  Yum yum.  That said, I don’t really have a strong sense of smell, and there are few things I can identify without someone saying, “Hey, don’t you smell ________?”  Because of that, I’m somewhat afraid that I smell.  Recently, on two different occasions two different people said that I smelled good after hugging me, so that’s reassured me that perhaps I don’t have some major B.O. issue.

Jewel asked, “What books make you cry? Laugh?”

Several books have made me cry.  Recently, I’ve bawled at Richard Russo’s Empire Falls, Chitra Divakaruni’s Sister of my Heart, and Khaled Hosseini’s A Thousand Splendid Suns (those links are to my reviews).   Books can move me to cry either when the main characters face a loss or come to some heartbreaking personal realization.   If a book makes me bawl (and not just shed a tear or two), I know that it’s really touched me, therefore kudos to the author.

As for laugh?  Oh, several books make me laugh.  Probably the all-time funniest book I’ve read is Henry Fielding’s Tom Jones.  It’s a classic that I hadn’t heard of before I picked it up at a used bookstore, but it’s hilarious.  I don’t really recommend it unless you already are used to longer, more difficult books like classics, as it certainly isn’t an easy read (I believe I have a pretty good vocabulary, but there were many words in there I had to look up!), but his sense of humor is right up my alley.  Dickens and Austen have also been known to make me laugh.

The book I’m reading right now, Special Topics in Calamity Physics is also definitely a humorous read.  I’ll give a full review when I’m done!

Joy asks, “What is your decorating style?”

Uhh, whatever looks good to me.  I like flowers and pastels, but not really into the shabby chic thing.  I also don’t like knick knacks.  Here’s pictures of my bedroom decorated in colors that never grow old for me, which’ll give you a sense of what I like.  I’ve never posted pictures of our living room as we’re still improving it (yes, we’ve lived here a year), but it’s done simply in a dark blue and brown.  My roommate likes darker, gloomier things (yes, that’s my opinion), so it’s hard to come up with a happy middle.

And, “What is your favorite food?”

I’d say Diet Dr. Pepper, but I don’t know that that’s technically a food. I love chocolate and ice cream, especially Coldstone’s cake batter with chocolate chips (or Edy’s chocolate chunk with chocolate syrup if I’m more economical). I also love Mexican (cheese enchiladas are my favorite) and Chinese (sweet and sour chicken and crab rangoon in particular). When I’m cooking for myself, I like to make fried rice (again with the Chinese), quesadillas (again with the Mexican), or casseroles.

Also, “When you were little were you a tomboy or a girlie girl?”

A girlie girl, but not overly so. I always have enjoyed wearing dresses and skirts, and loved wearing a hat and gloves as a girl. In fact, my first memory in fact was playing with my gloves at my uncle’s wedding when I was a flower girl (I would have been 2 1/2). I wasn’t really one to go outside and get dirty, and often my mom would have to make me go outside, where I would play school on our play set, ride my bike, or read while swinging (some things never change).

And again, “Do you listen to talk radio?”

What gave me away? I hope I don’t exude “talk radio junkie/nutjob.” Yes, I do, though not a ton. I really enjoy listening to a local show, Brad and Britt. They definitely take different positions on a lot of issues than I do, but they think through the issues more than pretty much anyone I’ve listened to on the radio, no matter what side they stand on politically. I can appreciate that more than listening to someone I basically agree with using inflammatory language and asserting their case rather than presenting it. I also enjoy catching a few minutes of Boortz or Savage if I happen to be in car when they’re on, but not when they’re in their ranting moods. As for the giants Rush and Hannity, I’d rather pass.

Julie also mentioned podcasts. I’ve never listened to one, but they’re really not my thing. I’m a visual learner, so I prefer to read (thus the blogging instead). I only listen to talk radio because I can’t read while driving, and I have no practical way of listening to podcasts while I drive. Believe it or not, I’ve survived without an iPod (though I do have an old mp3 player that I use occasionally on trips).

She also asks, Did you go to public school or private school?

Public. I went to a good public school, but I know that many weren’t as fortunate as I was. I had many teachers that truly cared about me and pushed me, and more importantly, I had one at home that laid all the groundwork and pushed me all the more.

And finally, “Do you recycle? (sorry,it’s earth day so I thought I would throw that in)”

I SO wish I could pass on this one, but this is all about being open and honest, right? Uh, I’m embarrassed to admit that I don’t recycle, even though I grew up with it. I’ve never had the facilities to do so, which is really a shame that they don’t have that for apartment dwellers here like they do for house dwellers (they get it picked up with their trash). You know it’s a big deal when someone as anti-big-government as I am thinks that the government should do something (though I am talking about the city or county, not federal)…

Earlier today I was just thinking that maybe I’ll take in the fifty bazillion plastic bags we have falling out from under our sink to the grocery store (I try to remember to bring my reusable bags to the store so I’ll stop accumulating them) so I’ll have room to store all the aluminum cans I generate (I go through two a day). I think there’s somewhere nearby that’ll take them. I’ll blog it when I do, so feel free to pester me until you see it, k?