Posted in Solo Historian on 11/03/2009 12:08 am by Ronnica
My journal entry, dated October 30, 2009
Last night in the midst of one of my typical adventure dreams (in this one I was a part of a group being held hostage) there was a tender moment (can a fake moment be tender?) that sticks with me.
In the midst of the hostage situation, I had my head on a man’s shoulder as we played with each other’s hands. It was something so small, but that’s the desire of my heart…to simply be with someone, even if it’s in the midst of a crazy situation (though preferably not that crazy situation).
I long for that day when there’ll be someone there, all the while knowing that day may never come. Yet I hope in God, trusting His judgment on the matter to be better than my own, asking Him to remove selfish ambitions from my heart. Not that it’s not right and good for me to desire a husband–it is–but it’s not right for me to desire it more than I desire God Himself, more than I desire to follow Him.
So as I continue in this adventurous time in my life, I lean on Him, trusting Him to be enough.
“For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
The LORD gives grace and glory;
No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.
O LORD of hosts,
How blessed is the man who trusts in You.”
- Psalm 84:11-12
Photo by photosan0
Posted in Once I Was a Kansas Girl on 12/19/2008 07:33 am by Ronnica
This is my journal entry from last night:
I’ve had a downright awful attitude today. I’ve been incredibly testy and out-of-sorts. It’s possible that there’s some PMS involved, but I’ve never been this bad before.
The real problem? I’ve strayed from God. I’ve allowed good things: school work, graduation, blogging, friends, fun, and celebration to get in the way of spending regular time with God. It’s not that this time is a secret happy button, but it is a firm foundation to rest the entirety of my day upon. It tells me what’s up and down, orienting me to God and His Kingdom purposes.
Lord, help me to reset my priorities, desires, and thoughts to the defaults that you have set up for optimum performance. guide my steps, moment by moment, that I may be ever walking closer to you. Wrap me in Your love that I may not seek the empty pleasures found elsewhere. Be my light and my hope, my ever-present help in times of temptation.
Help me to live a life according to Your truth by the guidance of Your Holy Spirit. May your light shine through me, and cleanse me from any sin that dampers it.
“But I have trusted in your lovingkindness,
My heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD,
Because He has dealt bountifully with me.”
- Psalm 13:5-6
Yes, Lord, You have dealt bountifully with me. Here I am complaining about the smallest things, when You have provided me for not only my needs, but also for so many of my wants and desires. When I look around at all you’ve blessed me with materially, I am reminded of all the other ways You bless me too: with Your very presence in my life, with friends and family, with a church to minister and grow alongside. How can I take all this for granted?
