A few years ago I read the biography of Adoniram Judson (To the Golden Shore by Courtney Anderson) and was really encouraged by it. Since then, I had wanted to read more about his first wife, Ann.
My Heart in His Hands is the story of Ann Judson, among the first group of missionaries to head out from America. Within two weeks of marrying Adoniram, they boarded a boat to India, with the assumption of never returning. They didn’t know where they were going or who they might work with when they got there.
Ann had a great life in early America. She could have lived a very happy, ordinary life here, but God grabbed her heart. I’ve considered international missions, but when I think about it, it’s with things like email and planes. The costs were much higher 200 years ago.
Ann’s life in Burma, where they ended up, was hard. They had to learn the language the hard way, point and naming objects with their tutors. English-speaking people came and went in their lives; most of the time they were alone among foreigners. Tropical diseases and unhelpful medical treatment made it physically difficult as well.
But eventually, they saw the fruit of their labor, and Burmans were coming to Christ. But things weren’t all getting easier—when war came between Britain and Burma, the Burmese government took Adoniram and the other foreign men hostage, chaining them in the filthiest of conditions.
Ann’s actions during this two-year period were the most encouraging to me. She fought day after day, trying to convince every official she could to get better conditions for her husband if not release. She did so pregnant, too, later carrying her young daughter with her as she continued to fight diligently.
And it was her dedication first to her God and then to her husband that lead to her early death. As I read that her final word of pain was in Burmese, I bawled. I haven’t cried that hard at a book in a long time.
I strongly recommend this biography.

I spend a lot of time pondering. There’s a lot of subjects I ponder (do we all see colors the same, will we sleep in heaven, will we one day have electronic chips in our heads to communicate instead of cell phones), but one that I come back to again and again is the marvel that is modern transportation.