Ignorant Historian

I can’t believe it’s May. April was such a crazy month for me. It both seemed to fly by and to last forever.

But it’s over, praise God.

So this goal update is more about starting anew this month then considering what I did last month.

As you can see, April looks quite bare. You can actually see when I started to feel bad (starting the 8th).

But now I’m starting to get back on track. This weekend my energy level was almost normal as I prepared for having people over tonight.

For May, I’m going to allow myself to earn double points for writing/editing. I need to get back on track with this.

I’m definitely not beating myself up for having a “bad” month. Other priorities–like my health–necessarily took precedence. That said, I’m glad to get back to “normal.”

I live a busy life. I like it that way. You know those montages in chick flicks where the main character is working hard at a goal? Think Legally Blonde when Elle finally gets serious about law school, Center Stage when Jody is striving to be the best dancer she can be, or even She’s the Man when Viola is working on her soccer game, albeit dressed as a boy. I love those scenes, put to a good song, and wish that was my life.

Another thing that I’ve always wanted is my life to be like those day-in-the-life interviews they do with driven famous people where they get up at 5 AM, workout, practice whatever they are famous for, have lunch with another famous person, workout again, get back to what they’re famous for, etc. I’ve always thought that that would be the life. Except for the working out part, of course.

It seems that our American culture convinces us that all these things: work (working less than 60 hours a week is for sissies), play (several hobbies), sports (watching and playing), and family are not only good, but required. Of course, I do think that family should be a priority, and work and enjoyment are all well and good. But none of these things are THE priority. None of these things will ultimately satisfy.

It would be one thing if that was simply the culture we live in, but that we Christians were different. But how often do we in the church buy into the same ideal? Of course, we add church to the list, but that only makes the list longer, not different. I’ve certainly not been immune to all this. I’m a full-time student, an almost-full-time worker, a babysitter, a Sunday School teacher, an Awana teacher, an active church member, a blogger, a friend, a roommate.

Why am I obsessed with being busy? Why have I bought the lie that I can “have it all?” I’m not super(wo)man, I’m just a human. A sinful, lazy, prideful one at that. All those things on my to-do list? They might be well and good, but that doesn’t mean that that’s what God has for my life. Chances are, I’ll never get to do one of those day-in-the-life, look-at-me-I’m-so-busy-and-dedicated, famous people interviews. That shouldn’t be my goal, anyway.

Sometimes, rather than go, go, go and do, do, do, God wants me to sit and rest at His feet. Reminds you of anyone? When Martha had the same problem, He lifted up the example of her sister, Mary, who was sitting at His feet and said, “only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:42 NASU) I know that this passage is overused, but it’s a helpful reminder that what our culture thinks is a good thing (doing it all) isn’t necessarily what is on God’s agenda for us!

Most of the activities that I want to fill my day with aren’t inherently bad. I do need to consider my motivation for doing them, but more importantly I need to consider what might be God’s plan for my day. It’s much harder to self-indulge in what I want to do when I’m constantly thinking of my selfless Savior!

This is something that will take some lifelong work. I’ll always struggle with filling my days with stuff rather than considering the Lord first in my planning. I think I’ll commit anew today to work on this. Would you join me?

What I’ve written below is just as much for my sake as it is for anyone who might stumble upon it. Though most of my friends who are still in school started their semester a few weeks, I just started this week. Though I had the usual pre-first day excitement, I also had this idea that I needed to take a big breath before I was plunged below the water for 4 months. Instead of worrying about all these tasks, I am reminding myself that God can use this to mold me into the woman He would have me to be and to draw me closer to Himself.

Recently in my small group, we read the chapter in Lies Women Believe about priorities. One of the lies that Nancy Leigh DeMoss debunks is along the lines of “I don’t have enough time to do the tasks God has set before me.” This was something that April and I pondered awhile back, but it’s a lesson I need to relearn. It’s easy to think that I don’t have enough time, and I probably don’t. That is, I probably don’t have enough time to do the tasks that I think need to be done. That’s where grace comes in. God doesn’t make me do everything that I try to put on my plate. Instead, He simply asks that I do everything that He would have me to do. On top of that, I can rest assured that God didn’t save me because of what I had done or what He thinks that I would do for His Kingdom. That doesn’t lessen my responsibility to act, but it does lessen the pressure. Now, I need to prayerfully seek God as to how He would have me spend this moment, this hour, this day, and this year.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.” – Ephesains 2:8-10