Ignorant Historian

For my 1100th post (so not as cool as my last mile marker, huh?), why not look at what searches have lead to this blog?  My roommate told me that this was her favorite part of my blog (though I hope she was joking).  Gotta love that the part that requires nothing from me is the most popular.

Let’s delve into the searches that have brought people to this blog:

what your toilet says about you

I sure hope mine hasn’t been talking…

happy birthday ignorant worm song

I don’t know that song.  I’m curious, though.

1985 day dresses

Let it be noted that this is a Bing search. The supposed better search engine definitely got this one all wrong.

when should you fly the confederate flag

How about never?  On my New Year’s trip to Georgia, Florida, and back, I saw several along the highway.  Just don’t get what people are thinking.

“I want a wedding but” don’t want to get married

The quotes on this one puzzle me.  If I had to choose between the two, I’d rather be married than have a wedding.

my new haircut july 2010

The funny thing about this is that I neither had a haircut in July nor had one since. Soon, though!

babypoony

No words.

sockless blogs

I do blog sockless most of the time (though I have socks on today, under my boots).

good says of the historian

I’d like to think that you could find many good says on my blog.

newly elected letters

Who gets to vote them in?  And can we vote some out of office?  I’d love to get rid of Q quite quickly. Not to mention x.

It’s that time again…time to see what people search to find this blog!  Here goes:

taco bell sauce recipe

Not sure how that ended up here. I don’t even eat at Taco Bell (never been a fan of fast food Mexican).  Certainly have no desire to duplicate it.  I hope my food tastes better than that.

a little bit quady, orange tx

No words.

fairy thoughts

I’ve never met a fairy, so I don’t know what they think.

Why would a christian guy not pursue a girl he likes

I would like to know the answer to this one!

“new haircut” easier

The easiest way to get a new haircut is to pull out a pair of scissors and start chopping away.  Don’t know that that is the best way, though.

leftywater

Water is made up of one oxygen atoms and two hydrogen atoms, no matter your handedness.

happy birthday ignorant worm song

You want to wish an ignorant worm “happy birthday”?  How do you distinguish between learned worm and an ignorant one?

Ronnica Dull

Thanks…I’d like to think that I was at least a *little* bit entertaining, at least in the train-wreck sorta way.

Time for another look at the wacky searches that bring people to the Ignorant Historian!

“what kind of pictures should a historian take”

Like, if you go back in your time machine to an historical event?  I’d love to watch a recording of the Gettysburg address…but if you’re talking still pictures, I’d go for an accurate picture of the Last Supper.

“without entertainment what would be ignorant?”

Say what?

“chocolate and teal bathroom pictures”

Chocolate should be no where near the bathroom.  Keep chocolate in the kitchen (or just eat it).

“persons behind modern technology”

Are we using their brain power or their foot power to drive our technology?

“crayon love”

Is that like puppy love?

“He’s an angry elf picture”

Yet he’s a “he?”

“orange awareness beads”

Great idea!

“self taught working class historians”

Hard-working, uneducated historians writing about previously uncovered events.  Sounds like blogging!

“grinch lyricsa”

What a cruel name for a little girl!

“pictures of christmas trees in flashing”

Why do I picture Christmas trees running around in their birthday suits?

It seems like the longer the blog, the stranger the searches that lead to me.   I suppose it’s my own fault though, I do like to write about some interesting stuff.  So, here’s what’s led to the Ignorant Historian:

“children to call my own” never

Umm, thanks.  Real uplifting.

dear tonge

I imagine Tonge would like his name capitalized.

“depression” die a virgin

Once again, this one really cheers me up.

original name on toothpaste tubes

Not really sure why you’re curious about this one…

quotes that make people go :|

I don’t even know how to make that little guy, nor do I know what it means.  Anyone fluent in smilies and can help me out?  Even so, how do quotes make you make that face?

ignorant pepele at weddings

Amanda and April, I’ll try to keep ignorant “pepele” away from your weddings.

what color jewelry to wear with an orange shirt

How about not wearing an orange shirt and go with crimson instead?

life is easy for an ignorant

I’m going to go all middle school and say, “You would know.”

be a soldier a interest think

EXACTLY.

a name for someone that’s always on the phone

Let’s see…a phone-sitter.

Time again for a search roundup!  Let’s see what googling skills brought people to the Ignorant Historian:

“ladies and gentlemen, skinny and stout”

Yes?

“who delivered like a historian”

Hmmm.  I’m trying to think if I this is a comparison for a pizza or a baby delivery.

“my husband is not virgin”

Good. I certainly hope not.

“what is right girdle to buy to mold body”

No advice here.

“why do I smell when I go for a walk”

Probably because you’re breathing through your nose.  If you breath through your mouth, you’ll smell less.

“turn danger into a adjective”

See post title.

“so long as thou are ignorant”

Shouldn’t it be “art?”

“what is a boomer sooner”

A superly awesome cheer for the best team in college football.  Now if you want to know what a Boomer or a Sooner is, that’ll take you back to Oklahoma history.  And yes, the Sooners were the cheaters *hanging my head in shame*.

No real update on Power Camp.  Still going smoothly.  Wednesday night a kid refused to remove his shoes for half the night so missed out on the first half of tae kwon do.  Sure, I could have pinned him down to do it, but he’s the one missing out and that was the natural consequence of his disobedience.  We are having a lot of fun, and I think the kids are learning.  Two more nights!

It’s that time again to ponder how people are winding up on this here blog.  Here’s just a few of their searches…

chicken commercials 2009

Would this be like one of those cable best-of shows?

where do merichino cherries come from

Storks.

books with word any

I imagine “any” is in any number of books…

children working as historians

When I think of child labor, I don’t quite imagine children poring over large volumes in dim lighting, furiously scribbling down notes.

can I eat fruit cocktail everyday

I don’t know, you might turn into a skinless grape.

humor historian

Would they study the history of humor?  That could be interesting.

why drop an acorn instead of a ball in nc

At least an acorn represents the promise of new beginnings.  What does a ball represent?

eat cherries for pregnant

Not that I have any experience in that field, but I don’t believe that’s how you get pregnant.  Than again, I haven’t even very many cherries in my life and I’ve never gotten pregnant, so maybe they are linked.

persnickity food in oxnard

Now y’all are just cruel.  You made me put those words into a story and now some poor guy got directed to me instead of the real source of persnickety food in oxnard.

prison cigarettes don’t smoke society ring papers write whiskey museum

On second thought, this might have been exactly what you were looking for.

cottage cheese fruit cocktail

There’s a lot of searches like that combining fruit cocktail with various things that shouldn’t be eaten together.  This is probably the worse…they’re both gross by themselves; why would you put them together?

relic misplaced my tambourine

I’d consider suing ‘em.

holding hands

I suppose this search is unusual, just surprising.  The problem?  It’s on BING which advertises to be more accurate and less cluttered, right?  What does my blog have to do with holding hands?

adjective christian words starting with k

At least this time it’s obvious what they’re looking for, it’s just not what I’m offering.

peanut torture

I suppose it’s what I get for writing a post with that title, but what in the world was this person actually looking for?

Oh, I’m SO loving your all’s (I’m sure that’s grammatically correct…) questions from yesterday!  I think that the questions themselves are telling as to what you know about me.  I can’t wait to answer them, but it will be a couple of days as I’m at training for most of this week.  I’ll try to get some of the lighter answers up tomorrow, and the more serious ones next week.  If you haven’t taken the time to ask a question or two, you still have time!

After being an Ignorant Historian for a couple of months, I am finally getting those funny searches that we all love…

“GIVE ME A RANDOM NOUN”

Just because you shout it at me doesn’t mean I’m going to comply.

“snot joke”

I don’t do snot jokes, because I’m not a 10-year-old boy.

“what do historians wear?”

I don’t think there’s a uniform.

“origins of brown noser”

I had NOTHING to do with the origins of any brown nose, real or figurative.

“I,m [sic] loser but I’m a cooler”

WHAT?

“octonutjob”

Again I say, “Huh?”

“Ronneaca likes to”

Haha, is that a new spelling of my name?  People drop the second “n” (or add “Ve-”) all the time, but I’ve definitely never gotten that one!

“nicknames for Ronnica”

How about Ronners, Ronnie, or Ronn? (those are the only ones I’ve had…but once I contemplated going by “Nicki”…get it…ronNICa?)

“scott and ronnica”

Sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S…wait a second, who’s Scott?

“how to waste time fast”

Most people aren’t worried about being efficient in their time wasting, but maybe they should be.

“sneeze nose not coming out”

When I sneeze I don’t WANT my nose to come out!

I hope you all found what you were looking for!

(say in a cheesy announcer voice) It’s time again to play WaCkY SeArChEs!

On today’s episode, we’ll talk about skunks, spelling, and silly putty!

how to do spelling mistake, & wording mistake
Most people don’t need any help with this.

famous lines from schildrens books
See, he can do it.

marble memmory
That’s a lot of Ms…

dollars found after several years
If it’s just one or two it isn’t anything to write home about.

2/3 of all men are married to 3/5
Do the men marry fractions or dates?

getting ou ink stains
Is that like getting an OU tattoo? I’m not that daring…

how to make silly putty without starch or barack
You were going somewhere there until you decided to mention the junior Senator from Illinois.

spelling of eek
That’s how I spell it.

which place is more beautiful north carolina or kansas
I don’t know that I’ve ever mentioned this, but I do think Kansas is more beautiful.

what could a girl were for nerd day
For starters, something that is correctly spelled.

ramesh parachute spider
Should I be worried?

flip the chicken game
I’ve never played it. Is it like hot potato?

information about skunks for kindergarteners
Tell them that they shouldn’t be scared of them!

kindergarten picture of a skunk
Skunks go to kindergarten?

hairless cats kansas
I blame Julie.

seminar raleigh push my buttons
Hehe, I don’t need to go to seminar to learn how to push people’s buttons.

russia school toilet squat girls
Mm-kay.

girdle goodness
Uh…

how to remove ink from tongue
Ooh, been there, done that. I was on a roadtrip, too. I never sucked on a pen to get it writing again, though.

nerd school accomplishments
What are you trying to say, Mr. Google?

next…if the stalls are empty…where would u stand
LOL. Who knew a bathroom stall discussion would lead to this search.

spelling of well when used of goodness
“Well” is only always spelled one way, no matter how it’s used. But don’t confuse it with “we’ll.”

Well, that’s all folks!

—————————————————————————–

I’m thankful for my church family. Every Sunday I grow to love them more and more.

What? It’s Friday? Cool! Gotta love 4-day work weeks…

Since I haven’t been serious here for a couple of days, I thought we’d continue to have some fun today. Sound good? Now Timmy, that doesn’t mean that you can stomp on my foot. Lucy, stop chewing on the table! You all sure get wild around here without some structure!

Moving on. Let’s play…Fun…Searches…on…TaleOfAKansasGirl!

“what the hell is woo me” – Yes, someone actual typed that into Google. I don’t think that it responds better if you cuss at it.

“encouraging things to say to a girl” – Aww, this is sweet. It makes me want to squeeze the guy. Unless he’s a 50yo man. Then I’m creeped out.

“carry capri sun planes” – I hadn’t realized that Capri Sun had gotten into the aerospace industry.

“flipping chickens” – Apparently this never gets old.

“am i an encouraging person?” – Sadly, Google might have been able to answer this for you based on what you do online. I, however, cannot.

“conclusion of why do people need friend?” – What? Was someone making an argument on whether you need friend (singular)?

“revelations of a single women” – Women, we are one collective unit. Fortunately, we’re allowed more than one revelation.

“virtual girl cathy” – This is just sad.

“gril pics” – Umm, yeah.

“grammar mistakes in real life” – Okay, so I deserve this. I’m certainly not immune from grammar mistakes.

“magic english jenny pow” – No commentary needed.

“kansas city crazy blog love monte cristo” – Again, no commentary needed.

“ate them with its butt” – Yuck.

“kansas sue my roommate for not paying rent” – I’m paying my rent, k?

“side sleepers, drool” – Haha. I guess I shouldn’t be embarrassed by it. Otherwise, why would I have posted it for all to see?

“looks like an oyster” – If it also walks like an oyster, I think it IS an oyster.

“silly girls” – Google, you know me too well. But there is only one girl behind this blog.

“laryngitis talks too much” – Is that why I lose my voice? Oops.

“chop-my-hair” – I don’t get the dashes.

“every superwomen needs a superman lyrics” – Seriously? I’m not sure how well a song like would do, especially with the grammatical error.

“how to scratch a mans back the right way” – Isn’t this personal preference?

“what should i take in my carry-on flight bag to fly from texas to kansas??” – Again, personal preference has a lot to do with it. I like to half several books, a snack, and my pj’s, at least.

“trees and tire swing advertising” – Sometimes I really wonder what Google was thinking. (and don’t even try to tell me that it’s just a bunch of machines that doesn’t think at all!)

“dr. heath hendrickson wisdom teeth” – Again, I have no idea.

“nigerian twists” – Is this a dance or maybe a drink?

“highlighter stains from party removal” – Pardon my ignorance on the matter, but would someone physically mark you if you had to be removed from a party?

Dear Google Searchers,

I’m glad that Google directed you to my site. Unfortunately, I think many of you might have been disappointed in that you didn’t find what you were looking for.

Here are a few of the things you were searching for:

The greatest number of you searched for “woo me.” When I add in the significant number of searches for “clandestine love affair,” I realize that you get what you blog about.

For the person that searched for “I’m still learning…” I hope you realized that I still am too.

For the person who was searching about how to blow a bubble in silly putty, I would check out your local community college. They seem to have a class in everything.

I don’t know what to say to the person who got here via a search for “family tree connecting pillars of the earth and world w.” I’m just not sure I know what you were wanting. I’m pretty sure that means that you didn’t find it here.

Google sure thinks that I’m an interesting character. At least that’s what you found out, searcher for “unusual things about Kansas.” I try not to take it to personally.

But then Google also directed you, searcher for “Kansas hick,” to my site. Ouch. I never really thought of myself as a hick, but I have to accept it since Google gave me that label.

But Google redeemed itself by also sending a searcher for “Kansas treasures” to my site. That’s more like what I want to hear!

Laughing,

Ronnica