Ignorant Historian

We’ve all heard, reheard, and heard again that famous JFK quote, “Ask not what your country can do for you–ask what you can do for your country,” right?  Well, it seems like we’re all for quoting it, but not for putting it in action.

Given my job, I hear a lot of whining about taxes.  The most common complaints is that the government just isn’t giving them enough money: whether they should have gotten more in the stimulus payment last year (one suggested $6,000 instead of $600), more back in their tax refund, tax breaks for veterinary bills (you’d be surprised how many times I’m asked about this one), or just another stimulus check.

I’m all for getting people the credits on their taxes that they deserve and the laws allow, but it seems like all people are interested in how they can benefit from the government.  Isn’t that what all the congressional pork is about, getting the constituent what they want, not caring about if it is in the interest of the country as a whole?

I can’t say that I’m entirely innocent on this issue, but it does disgust me.  I think the seagulls in Finding Nemo said it best when they said, “Mine!  Mine!  Mine!”

Did you catch the story a few weeks ago that happened on a beach in Italy? A couple of Roma (Gypsy) girls drowned, and while their bodies were still on the beach covered with beach towels, sunbathers continued enjoying the sun nearby as if nothing happened.

This story struck me for two reasons. First off, the fact that these were Roma girls means something. I heard a national talk show host talking about this story, and he glossed right over this fact, clearly not understanding the history behind it. Gypsies have been a despised people in Europe for hundreds of years, and have been subject to enslavement and ethnic cleansing. Because of the discrimination they face, they often are seen begging and often travel from place to place. Though I don’t know that the sunbathers knew that the girls who drowned were Roma, it certainly seems likely considering the reports say that they had been begging prior to getting into the water.

Secondly, the response of the Italian sunbathers to the death of those around them was a sharp reminder to me that I all too often take this attitude towards the spiritual death of those around me. Like those sunbathers, I have fun and pursue my own interests, not letting the thought that those around me are actually dying dampen my day of fun in the sun.

American Christianity is really good at this. We spend our money on Christian trinkets and read the latest self-help books with a Christian veneer trying to learn how to be happy. How easy it is to forget that my own happiness is not my reason for being here!

This story has spurred me on to try to be more purposeful in everything I do. May God open my eyes to the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of those He has placed in my path, and may He give me what I need to address them.

I’m a disciplined person. I don’t say that in a self-promoting way, as will be obvious as you continue on in this post.

I’m always the person that gets their reading done. I turn in my papers on time, if not early. If I promised to do something, I do it. I remember to follow up with someone if there was something that needs following up. I dedicate two hours of my day for reading and read across several disciplines. I’m organized and can find what I need at any given moment.

At least most of the time. While these things are mostly true, these all happen with a little bit of outside pressure, usually from school. I can be a self-motivator, but most of time without that outside pressure, I’m lazy and lose motivation. It just becomes easier to put the hard stuff aside for the pursuit of my own pleasures. Who wouldn’t rather watch a movie than read an academic book? Who wouldn’t rather sit down with a bowl of ice cream rather than finishing up the last necessary tasks for school?

That’s exactly how it’s been the last week. I’m on my break between my summer class and my fall classes (they start Thursday), and I’ve done next to nothing. The dishwasher is only half-emptied. There’s a bag of groceries still on my table. Until yesterday, a pile of shoes was growing on my floor where I slip them off when I come home. The curriculum I’m to be writing for church is barely started, and my work at work is piling up. The books I want to read sit untouched next to my reading chair. My desire to go to the pool and swim laps has increased since watching the Olympic swimmers, but that hasn’t actually motivated me enough to put in the time and effort.

Sure, it’s okay to take a break. They’re necessary. But is my I-can-do-it-later attitude during my break going to characterize my life when I no longer have the pressure of school? Does school act like a girdle, holding the body in proper shape? When I’m not a student any longer, will my life be scattered, unorganized, and unsightly? Or does school act like a jello mold, allowing life to set in an appetizing and usuable way?

This is just something I’ve noticed about me, and it’s not too pretty. While my life shouldn’t be ruled by my self-imposed regulations and goals, that doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be there to guide me.

As I pulled up to the donut shop (I know, I know; but don’t let that distract you from the point of the post), I saw that someone had parked their luxury SUV in the fire lane 5 feet from the door. Already I was on edge. I really don’t care for rule breakers.

As I walked in, I saw that there were two ladies at the counter. One was a motherly-type in her 50s looking slightly worn down, buying herself a cup of coffee before what I can assume will be a long day. The other was a very put-together woman, dressed in a pink satin shirt and black pumps, buying a mountain of donuts for what seemed to be a work-sponsored sugarfest. She was also ordering a complicated coffee drink, and the boy behind the counter was looking a bit confused and intimidated as he was trying to fill it as promptly and correctly as he could.

Since he was going to take longer than she had apparently anticipated, she stated that she was going to take the mountain of donuts out to her car. I immediately knew what car she was going to: the SUV in the fire lane. I was between her and the door, but I quickly scooted back. She never said excuse me or thank you, but just proceeded out as I headed to the counter to order my donuts. I was expected her to expect me to move, so I got out of her way.

As I drove to work, I thought about this lady. The air of privilege about her (“I deserve to park my SUV here because the parking lot is just too far,” “I want my cup of coffee my way“) really irked me. But then I realized something more ugly. My very own sinful heart.

How did I respond to this situation? With self-righteousness and hate. While the lady was probably in the wrong, I was too. I responded in sin. There’s no excuses. She didn’t deserve my anger because of her own actions. I’m like the slave who was forgiven 10,000 talents yet was unwilling to forgive the 100 denarii owed to be my a fellow slave (Matthew 18).

How much has God forgiven me? More than I’ll ever know. I certainly haven’t gone one day without sinning and I doubt I’ve gone even one waking hour without sinning in thought, tongue, or deed. Yet, at the sight of the sin of another I become self-righteous. “How dare she take park HER SUV there. How dare she expect ME to move without a word. I’d NEVER act like that!”

But I have. On more than one occasion I have played the selfish brat. But it’s not an act. It’s an acting out of my sinful selfishness. But most of the time I keep it in. Or I act on my selfishness in socially-acceptable ways.

Lord, forgive my selfishness. May I rest in You and seek Your ways rather than demanding my own. Thank you for providing me the greatest gift in the forgiveness of sins through Your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen.

God is breaking me of my selfishness! Last night on my way back from the church picnic with April, God revealed to me the ugliness of my heart. I have had a horrible attitude about studying these last days of the semester. Then I was reminded that “whatever you do, do all to the glory of God!” (1 Corinthians 10:31b) I clearly have not been glorifying God in my pathetic studying and complaining of studying. April and I went before God, and I confessed my own sinfulness and asked God to give me the grace to do this, and all things, to His glory.

Remember to pray for our friends at O-Week! Pray that God will be their comfort and joy, and that He will show them areas they need to give over to Him. Pray against anyone just trying to make it through the week. Ask God to use this time to bond the teams together in unity!