Before this, the only thing I read by L’Engle is probably the only thing you‘ve read by L’Engle, A Wrinkle in Time. I think I liked it, but don’t really remember…it’s on my to-read-again list.

So what are my thoughts on Certain Women? It’s okay. You can tell L’Engle is a good writer and the story is fairly interesting, but it lacks drive. There is a lot of discussions about what happened and even more comparisons of the story’s patriarch David and King David of the Bible. There are  a ton of similarities, but I won’t detail them all here.

Still, this was actually a great book for us to discuss, as it has a lot to discuss.  The quote that most intrigued came during a discussion of David’s greatness coming after his great sins against Bathsheba and Uriah and his failure as a father.

“Maybe we have to sin, to know ourselves human, faulty, and flawed, before there is any possibility of greatness. I think your father’s right. David did become great only after he’d lost everything.”

“Is it always the hard way?” Emma asked.

“Isn’t it?” (p. 326)

I don’t think that it is necessary to sin before we can become great. I think that idea is mistaken. God does not need our sin to be great or to make us great.

That said, God does need us to make less of ourselves–to humble ourselves–before He’ll do great things in our lives. It’s the paradox found in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NASU).

“And He has said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.’ Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.”

That’s what I need to remember…I need to make less of myself so that I can serve God more. I need to get out of his way, so to speak.

Other Participants:

Brooks
Carrie
Florinda
Hannah
Heather
Jennifer
Julie
Liz
Nicole
Sheila
Sherry
Thomas
Tina

“Many churches speak about homosexuality in terms of sin and judgment but about divorce in terms of forgiveness and grace. When a same sex couple goes down to the courthouse to petition for a marriage certificate, the Christians show up with sandwich boards. Do they also show up when their congregants go to the same courthouse to petition for an “unbiblical divorce?” Likely not. And the hypocrisy on this issue has not escaped the next generation.” -“Why Our Generation Doesn’t Care About Prop 8″ by Jonathan Merritt

“I asked the children [from the suburbs] where the slums were. But they said there were no slums near where they lived, only far away, in the city.” – The Love Wife by Gish Jen, p. 44

“We’re fickle, stupid beings with poor memories and a great gift for self-destruction.” – Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins, p. 379

“Annie, being a virgin in this day and age is something to be proud of…you’re like a unicorn.” – Shirley, Community, “The Politics of Human Sexuality”

“He is the God that understands that I just miss being loved by a lover….I am blessed in the truest sense of the word.  I am also a little lonely.” – Amy Beth Bullard, “The God Who Understands”

“Finally, he can see me for who I really am. Violent. Distrustful. Manipulative. Deadly. And I hate him for it.” – Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins, p. 232

“A proud person tries to reinvent reality. He tries to redraw the borders of human behavior to suit himself, displacing God as the Lord and boundary keeper of life.” – Not the Way It’s Supposed to Be by Cornelius Plantinga, Jr., p. 125

“I noticed, too, it was the cruelest thing you could say about a person–that they were small.” – Special Topics in Calamity Physics by Marisha Pessl

(advice given against early engagements) “…if a man is going through a woods, and sees a good young sapling, he may mark it and come back afterward and get it, if he can.” – Most Famous Man in America

” ‘Oh, no. It costs a lot more than your life. To murder innocent people?’ says Peeta. ‘It costs everything you are.’ ” – Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins, p. 23

In light of tomorrow’s release of

I’ve always been a fan of dystopian novels long before I knew the term “dystopian.”  I remember reading The Giver in middle school and being blown away.  1984 was easily my favorite assigned read in high school.  Recently I can’t get enough of the genre (though there are more coming out than I could reasonably read).

I think what I appreciate about these books is their depiction of the way that we sinners make a mess out of things.  Without God, that’s where we’re left.

Lately, though, I’ve notice that a few of the recent releases stray from the dystopian theme, perhaps.

Can a dystopian novel end optimistically and still be dystopian?

I mean, even Hunger Games ends in a seemingly impossible way (trying to be spoiler free!)…though we still don’t know how the trilogy will end.

Under the Dome (which I don’t mind spoiling because I think Stephen King should have been edited down from 1000 pages to no more than 600) ends simply and optimistically.

Susan Beth Pfeffer’s Last Survivors trilogy is what got me thinking about this subject originally.

But on the other hand, a few years ago I disliked The Road because there WAS no hope in the end.  So either I’m a hypocrite, or my tastes have changed.  Or maybe I allowed my dislike of Cormac McCarthy’s style to color my view of his ending.

I wonder if we want dystopian books to end happily, just like our movies.  Can we not handle the dark truth of a tale like The Picture of Dorian Gray today?

Thoughts?

Photo by mattsabo17

“No one around may see the black, indelible spots I am covered with, but I know that I–a criminal–have no right to be among these frank wide-open faces.” – We by Yevgeny Zamyatin, p. 140

“I never want to run away from anything because it is considered cool or fun by the secular world.  I also never want [to] run toward anything because it is considered glam-worthy.” – Green Like God by Jonathan Merritt, p. 16

“I was born a seesaw, auntie, and nothing can ever prevent me from teetering.” – Philippa in Anne of the Island by Lucy Maud Montgomery

“It’s a shame,” he said, “you don’t learn more about the countries you f*** with.” – An Aussie to an American in His Illegal Self by Peter Carey

“Though God wants us to protect our land, we keep treating it like dirt.” – Green Like God by Jonathan Merritt, p. 106

“In 1995 the world spent less than US$250 million trying to extinguish the HIV epidemic. These days, Americans spend over eight times that amount, two billion dollars a year, just on Botox injections to extinguish their wrinkles.” – The Wisdom of Whores by Elizabeth Pisani, p. 20

“Exactly, just like children, we must always ask, ‘And what next?’ ” – We by Yevgeny Zamyatin, p. 175

“…it isn’t fair to fault Jesus for failing to offer answers to questions the culture wasn’t asking.” – Green Like God by Jonathan Merritt, p. 85

“How very odd, to believe God gave you life, and yet not think that life asks more of you than watching TV.” – An Abundance of Katherines by John Green, p. 33

“Psalm 19:10 says that Scripture is sweeter than honey, but you’d never know that judging by some believers. You see, there are three basic kinds of Bible students. There are the ‘castor oil’ types. To them the Word is bitter–Yech!–but it’s good for what ails them. Then there is the ‘shredded wheat’ kind. To them Scripture is nourishing but dry. It’s like eating a bail of hay. But the third kind is what I call the ‘strawberries-and-cream’ folks. They just can’t get enough of the stuff. How did they acquire that taste? By feasting on the Word.” – Living By the Book by Howard and William Hendricks, p. 19

“If everyone on Earth actually consumed resources the way Americans do, experts estimate that it would take several Planet Earths just to sustain life.” – Green Like God by Jonathan Merritt, p. 126

Though I can talk the talk of a good Christian, my feet too often stray.

I don’t like how I just said that: it’s not that my feet stray off the good path, I do.

But that’s hard to admit, isn’t it?

See?  I just turned it around to you, pulling you into my guilt.

But I am the hypocrite.

Need to take care of the log in my eye before the speck in yours.

I love the Lord…why do my actions not reflect that more?

It doesn’t help when I hear the praises of those around me for my goodness.

They don’t see the selfish desires that fill my thoughts.

They don’t see me when I’m alone.

Because I don’t let them.

So, what’s the Cross got to do with it, Ronnica?

Everything.

Stop living for your own pleasures. As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. – Ephesians 4:1

Stop walking in your own strength. For the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength. – 1 Corinthians 1:25

Stop acting like you’re #1 in your life. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. – Philippians 2:3

While I do believe that the Bible allows for divorce in certain cases (a subject for another post), there is something incredibly wrong with our society when divorce is not only common, but often encouraged when either party as warrant to feel wronged or unhappy.

As an unintentionally single woman*, I can’t really speak to how to make a marriage last.  When I get married, I know it won’t be as easy as it seems on this side of the altar (not that I think it’ll be easy).

Lord willing, I’ll have a loving church family to walk beside me and show me how to be a loving, faithful wife.  I know I’ll need it.

But what can someone in my place do now to help keep myself from a failed marriage? Here are some ideas I’ve gathered from more people and books than I could possibly list:

1.  Know that love is a choice. While it’s also a feeling, deciding to marry someone is choosing to love them even if/when the feeling leaves.

2.  Don’t expect him to be perfect.

3.  If you get together while he’s married to someone else, how can you accept his commitment to love you forever?

4.  Know him before he’s pursuing you so that you’ll have a better idea of his true character (not just his wooing-character).

5.  Focus first on seeking repentance and forgiveness for your own sin before pointing out his (Matthew 7:3-5).

6.  Learn to be submissive to the authorities in your life now (parents (if applicable), pastors, bosses, and God).

7.  Develop a servant’s heart, eyes, and hands; desiring, looking for, and acting on opportunities to serve others.

I know this list is far from complete…what do you think I should add?  I’m especially looking from help from those of you who are or have been married!

*Phrase comes from Connally Gilliam’s book Revelations of a Single Woman

Photo by Donna62

“The time today’s singles have available for spiritual service is the same time the leisure and etnertainment industry demands from them.” – Get Married by Candice Watters, p. 34

“You and I do not have to be lost in the middle of our own stories.” – How People Change by Timothy Lane and Paul Tripp

“Why aren’t you married?”
….”But because I often lack a good, pithy answer to one of life’s mysteries, it feels like a tabloid reporter’s inquiry to unocver waht’s really wrong with me.” – Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? by Carolyn McCulley, p. 19

“A recent survey said more people under age 30 believe in flying saucers than believe they will receive a dime of Social Insecurity.” – Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey, p. 156

“…we naturally conclude that human beings are inexpressibly complex creatures in whom great good and great evil often cohabit, sometimes in separate and well-insulated rooms and sometimes in an intimacy so deep and twisted and twined that we never get to see the one moral quality without the other.” – Not the Way It’s Supposed to Be: a Breviary of Sin by Cornelius Plantinga, Jr., p. 81

“Well, if not gold, there must be something else that interest you.”
“Learning.”
“Learning what? You already know so much.”
“I have everything to learn!” – Daughter of Fortune by Isabel Allende, p. 232

“The wealthy person who is ruled by his stuff is no more free than the debt-ridden consumer we have picked on thorughout the book.” – Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey, p. 220

“I suppose some women really do prefer career to family. But I wasn’t one of them.” – Get Married by Candice Watters, p. 14

“There should not be the sacrifice of oneself for another, because we were all created equally.” – Green by D. Malone, p. ix

“The dangers of premarital sex had been burned into my soul. And indeed, before the contraceptive pill, it was a risky enterprise for girls. But all that had clearly changed.” – The Spiral Staircase by Karen Armstrong, p. 10

“Guilt, I was told, usually sprang from misplaced pride, it might simply be chagrin that you were not as wonderful as you hoped.” – The Spiral Staircase by Karen Armstrong, p. 51

“I ask myself at night, ‘Did you do everything today that you could to be the best?’ It’s very hard to answer ‘yes.’ ” – Apolo Ohno

“Give me a used Bible and I will, I think, be able to tell you about a man by the places that are edged with the dirt of seeking fingers.” – East of Eden by John Steinbeck, p. 350

“Anyone who thinks he’s too small to make a difference has never been bit by a mosquito.” – Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls, p. 246

” ‘I should have thought that a pack of British boys… would have been able to put up a better show than that.’ ” – Lord of the Flies by William Golding

“On the other hand, women who didn’t marry became old maids, spinsters who slept in the attic, sat in a corner peeling potatoes all day, and were a burden on their families, like our neighbor Old Man Pucket’s sister, Louella.” – Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls, p. 39

“When people kill themselves, they think they’re ending the pain but all they’re doing is passing it on to those they leave behind.” – Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls, p. 113

“I’d donate a kidney to Jamie without a moment’s hesitation, but I was intensely annoyed if he asked me to make a special stop at the drugstore to pick up shaving cream.” – The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, p. 41

“Some people exude their futures, good or bad.” – East of Eden by John Steinbeck, p. 277

“Money brings its own problems, of course – but money also brings options.  Money can buy childare, a separate bathroom, a vacation, the freedom from arguments over bills – all sorts of things that help stabilize a marriage.” – Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert, p. 148-149

“I had no problem with whatever she used to draw her closer to God…” – Wounded by Claudia Mair Burney, p. 158

“The number of households in America without children reached an all-time high in 2008.” – Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert, p. 149

“A man’s mind can’t stay in time the way his body does.” – East of Eden by John Steinbeck

I wrote this post last week, and it’s not really where I’m at right now.  I had a wonderful time with my ABF class at church on Saturday which was exactly what I needed.  Still, I wanted to share what I’ve been through because I know there are others who are still there or will be there.

In the past week or so, I’ve felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness.  Not only is there the usual ache of walking alone on a path built for two, but there has been added emphasis on how alone I truly am through several unrelated incidents.

Perhaps it’s silly, but hearing from others about their loneliness makes me lonely.  Perhaps it’s what happens when you’re truly sharing one another’s burdens, you feel what they feel.  I’m glad to do it for friends, old or new.

Another thing that can (and has) made me lonely is to know that a crush won’t work out.  Not that I necessarily assume it will, but hopes disappointed always hurt, don’t they?

Then there’s the disappointments that can come from friendships.  Being sinful creatures, we’re bound to let each other down, aren’t we?

So, I just wanted to share that I’ve been lonely.  I know that I’m not the only one, so perhaps hearing my story will help someone else feel less lonely.  There is comfort in the loneliness, and for that I’m incredibly grateful.  I have friends and family who love me through this time.  But most of all, though, the comfort comes in the fact that this world won’t last forever.

And I can’t wait until the next.

Photo by JuriaYoshikawa

Back when I played the clarinet, I’d also occassionally play classical music.  The clarinet is fairly young as instruments go, but there was one classical composer that was fond of the instrument: Mozart.  One of my favorite pieces to play was written by him.  The fact that he was a genius and seemed to write effortless has always enthralled me.

So, when I saw an article on Mozart’s death, I had to read it.  It’s not believed that his death at the age of 35 might have been from complications from strep throat.  This then led me to contemplate…can one’s death be untimely?

Yes and no.

Yes, because I believe that all our deaths are untimely in the sense that we didn’t have to die.  Without sin, we wouldn’t have died.  Yet our choices have led to death, something that we’ve come to expect to happen later in life.

No, because I believe that we don’t deserve the moments we are living now.  That’s not to say that I wish everyone dead, but to say that every moment God sustains our life is a gift.  When that gift is up, it’s not “untimely” because it should have been up days, weeks, or years prior.  Yet God graciously lets us live on.

And I thank God that He has allowed me to live another day.

Photo by hoyasmeg