Ignorant Historian

Last Sunday of the month…boy, it’s gone fast! So far I’ve mentioned how thankful I am for my Savior, family by blood and choice, and my church. Finally, I want to share how I’m thankful for my unemployment.

Say what?

Yep, I truly am thankful for this unemployment. Don’t get me wrong, I’d prefer to be employed right now, but I believe that I’m not for a good reason.

Not that I’m entirely sure of what that reason is.

So far I’ve seen how unemployment has stripped away something that I wrongly took pride and identity in. I’ve seen how it’s one thing to say that I trust God when I have regular paychecks, and it’s another to say I trust him when I don’t know when I’ll get a paycheck again.

My unemployment journey is not over. I don’t know when it will be. But I do see more opportunities to actively trust God, knowing that He is sovereign over all situations, good and bad.

May I be able to say with Paul:

“Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:11-13)

Don’t forget to spend some time today really thanking the Lord for all the unmerited blessings He’s given you.

I started last week’s discussion of thankfulness with the overwhelming and obvious. I think this week’s follow up is also a clear choice.

I’m thankful for family, both by blood and by choice.

I’ve chosen to live far from my family not because I don’t love them (really, I do!) or don’t want to spend time with them (I still choose to see them a few times a year), but because this was where the school I wanted to go was.

But that was 3 years ago. Why am I still here?

I’ll blame that on my “family by choice,” the people in my small group at church. These are the people I see at least weekly and do life with. These are the people I call when I need a place to do laundry, a ride to the airport, or someone to talk to. These are the people that call on me when they need help around their house or with their children or want someone to talk to. These are the people who see my struggles and strengths everyday and help me see them too.

My life would be very different and less colorful without both types of family. I thank God for each one of them.

I have so much for which to be thankful. So for this month that I “have” to blog every day, I’m going to talk about some of those things.

Last Sunday during the service, I started to tear up. Sure, it was the day before my last day at my job, but that had nothing to do with why I was crying.

I was overwhelmed by what God has done for me.

Yes, I’ve been physically blessed with many positions and talents and education enough that I might be tempted to trust in them for my next job. I have family and friends I love (and who love me). But I’m not talking about all this icing, I’m talking about the fact that God sent his Son to die so I don’t have to.

I can’t imagine loving someone that much.

I thank God He’s given me food on my table in abundance.

I thank God that He’s given me family and friends who love me and show me more grace than I deserve.

I thank God for giving us quick travel that I may visit my family who’s over 1,000 miles away on this day.

I thank God for giving me not only a well-paying job in these times, but a job that I like.

I thank God for allowing me to be part of a church who, though not perfect, is seeking to grow together towards christlikeness.

Most of all, I thank God for giving His Son to save a wretch like me.

So happy Thanksgiving, and remember to thank God for the many blessings he’s given you…no matter how many or how few, they’re more than we deserve.

Photos by CarbonNYC, Julie McLeod,  aka Kath, me, Phillie Casablanca, and DrGBB

Happy NaBloPoMo! You can thank National Blog Posting Month for the blogger I am. I’ve had a blog for 2 1/2 years (and a Xanga for a year before that), but I started getting serious about blogging in October last year. Then I found out about NaBloPoMo. I thought it would be a difficult challenge, but I realized that I really enjoyed it! When I look back on that first NaBloPoMo experience I laugh, because I was excited to get a couple comments a day, and now you all bless me with many more comments (and I’m thankful, keep them coming)!

To celebrate this NaBloPoMo, at the end of each post this month I’ll mention something I’m thankful for.

Now, to our regularly scheduled programming. Today’s school day memory will take us back to the not so distant past of my junior year of college. It’s an appropriate memory for this time of year: crunch time. Every student knows the increasing level of stress manifesting itself in various ways (in me it’s eye twitching, hehe, funny story about that, but only funny if you know my college roommate, Dana) as the deadlines for the various papers and projects are near.

My second semester junior year was quite possibly my hardest semester in college (certainly in my undergraduate work…a couple of seminary semesters vie for the overall “hardest semester” title). It was my first semester as an all-out history major, so I had much to make up for, taking 4 history classes rather than the recommended 2. As all professors want weeks to be able to grade term papers, they always seem to make them due the same week.

This semester was no exception. If I recall correctly, I had 3 12-15 page papers due in a week’s time. Not being a procrastinator, I had a system set up to where I only had to write 2 pages a day per paper for two weeks and I’d get by (or something ridiculous like that). Organization fails when you have too much on your plate.

One of those days I holed myself up in my dorm room plugging away on the history of rainbows or some such meaningful topic (true, I wrote a paper on the history of the study of rainbows…) when there was a knock on my door. Two of my friends, K-Lai and Brooke, had stopped by and told me that they were kidnapping me.

I don’t like surprises. Really, I don’t. But I knew them well enough to trust them, so I did. They gave me a stuffed animal (a panda, I think…I gave it back to Brooke when she came down with mono the next semester) and took me to Rusty’s, our favorite place for frozen custard for a study break.

Hyped up on a crimson and cream frozen custard (strawberries and bananas, in this wonderful college town), I went home and finished up my 3 papers in minutes. Okay, I might be making that up, but I do know that breaks are necessary to this student, and I appreciate the friends that realized that that was so.

Other School Day Memories:

Kindergarten and 1st Grade: Kisses and Skunks
2nd and 3rd grade: Spitwads
3rd grade: Laundry Chutes and Floppy Disks
4th grade: Watching Whales
5th grade: Bad Grammar
7th Grade: Teacher Review
8th Grade: 100 Marble Pick Up
9th Grade: Science Nerd
10th Grade: Playing in the Rain
12th Grade: Sleepovers on a School Night
College Senior Year: Why Procrastination Might Not Be My Thing

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Firstly, I’m thankful for my God that saw fit to save me when I made my life an utter mess through my sin, sending His beloved Son to die in my place that I may live forever with Him.

I really love my life. This is the overwhelming thought as I sit here watching football on television in my pajamas (during the day!) after just coming back from picking up new books I’ve received from my apartment’s office. This is a rare post written on Saturday (I almost always schedule my Saturday posts) even though you are just seeing it on Monday.

Sure, I spend more time than I ought longing for more: a disposable income, a date, a boyfriend, a husband, a child, a brood of children calling me “mommy.”

But really, I love my life. I love the free-time, the solitude, the friends, the books, the work, the school, the family, the food, the football, the movies, the blogs. I love the responsibilities of being a student, a teacher, an employee, a churchman, and a friend. I love the relationship I have with my Lord and the opportunities I have to share that love with others.

So I’m choosing to be thankful. I have been overwhelmingly blessed, and I’m going to dwell on these things rather than those things I may wish I have.

This prayer has helped me as I’m seeking to commit it to memory. (source: The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions, edited by Arthur Bennett; emphasis added)

Thou eternal God,
Thine is surpassing greatness, unspeakable goodness, super-abundant grace;
I can as soon count the sands of ocean’s ‘lip’ as number thy favours towards me;
I know but a part, but that part exceeds all praise.

I thank thee for personal mercies,
measures of health, preservation of body,
comforts of house and home, sufficiency of food and clothing,
continuance of mental powers,
my family, their mutual help and support,
the delights of domestic harmony and peace,
the seats now filled that might have been vacant,
my country, church, Bible, faith.

But, O, how I mourn my sin, ingratitude, vileness,
the days that add to my guilt,
the scenes that witness my offending tongue;
All things in heaven, earth, around, within, without, condemn me–
the sun which sees my misdeeds,
the darkness which is light to thee,
the cruel accuser who justly charges me,
the good angels who have been provoked to leave me,
thy countenace which scans my secret sins,
thy righteous law, thy holy Word,
my sin-soiled conscience, my prayer and public life,
my neighbours, myself-
all write dark things against me.

I deny them not, frame no excuse, but confess, ‘Father, I have sinned’.
Yet still I live, and fly repenting to thy outstretched arms;
thou wilt not cast me off, for Jesus brings me near,
thou wilt not condemn me, for he died in my stead,
thou wilt not mark my mountains of sin, for he levelled all,
and his beauty covers my deformities.

O my God, I bid farewell to sin by clinging to his cross,
hiding in his wounds, and sheltering in his side.