Ignorant Historian

Recently I found a new kindred spirit in the Bible. In the past I’ve really identified with the likes of Peter, Hannah, and Hagar, but as I was reading my Bible this weekend, a new character really stood out to me.

Elihu.

What, you don’t remember who Elihu is? Actually, I didn’t either, before this weekend. But reading Job this time around opened my eyes.

We don’t really know much about Elihu. He admits that he’s younger than Job and his other friends, yet in the end, joins in in accusing Job. I get the idea that he sat their observing their discussion, barely keeping his own mouth shut. Finally, he’s had enough:

“So I say, ‘Listen to me,
I too will tell what I think.’ …
I too will answer my share,
I also will tell my opinion.
For I am full of words;
the spirit within me constrains me.
Behold, my belly is like unvented wine,
Like new wineskins it is about to burst.
Let me speak that I may get relief
Let me open my lips and answer.”

- Job 32:10, 17-20

Hmm, that’s a great way to start out, huh? The narrative tells us that Elihu is very angry, and his words admit that he’s speaking more out of a desire to “just get it out” than a desire to edify Job.

Oh, I’ve been there. I’ve played the part of the immature, self-righteous know-it-all more often than I’d like to admit. I’m probably not done playing the part. I mean, in part I blog because I am “full of words.”

But the more I learn, experience, and study, the more I realize just how much I don’t know. I’m more careful about making assumptions and assigning motives, particularly to those who disagree with me. And I spend more time examining my own motives, my own underlying assumptions, and my own beliefs.

And I want to learn to be more of a listener than a talker. I’ve got a long way to go!

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what it takes to become the woman that God wants me to be — whom I want to be.

I’m only 27.  By most accounts, I can expect to live another 50 years, God willing.  50 years is a long time, and I’d hate to not have grown during that time.  I don’t want to be the same person in 2060 that I am in 2010.

I have examples all around me of women who have walked this earth longer than me.  Some are good examples, aging gracefully (I’m not talking about outward appearance), while some aren’t, with every word they speak dripping with bitterness and self-focus.

I want to be like the first group of ladies.  I’ve done a lot of observing (for this non-observant person), trying to determine how to be on the right path.  While I don’t know all their secrets yet, here are a few things I’ve figured out:

1.  Inward focus will cause you to atrophy.  My life is not about me.

2.  If I want to really know my Bible when I’m older, I need to spend time studying, reading, and memorizing it now.

3.  Submission is always hard, especially in marriage.  But I can practice now by being submissive to the leaders God has placed in my life, and most of all, to God.

4.  To have a mouth that speaks encouraging, gentle, and thought-provoking words, I need to have the thoughts that match.

5.  Being a servant to others can be a joy.  Put others’ needs first…God will care for my own.

6.  I need help.  I need women in my life that will help guide me in truth.

Knowing these things is easy…implementing them is hard.  I want to be a good example for the next generation of women.

I have a long way to go, but God is faithful.

Photo by Gabriela Camerotti

Back by popular request…a letter! Okay, only Michelle requested it. How do you like that…she only has been reading my for a week and I’m already caving in to her request?

Dear Tongue,

I just don’t know what to do with you. I tried holding you, thinking that you’d follow my advice to keep quiet when what you were saying was unwise or unkind, but you just go ahead and say it anyway. What am I talking about? You know what I’m talking about. Specifically, I’m talking about:

Grumbling. Why do you complain so much? You have a pretty good life, if I do say so myself. I feed you all your favorite treats, and you really enjoy all the work you do. Why not be still in the less pleasant times and choose to pray rather than speak of our circumstances negatively?

Bragging. Come on, enough with yourself already! No one wants to hear it, and it’s just plain annoying to be around when you do. Drawing attention to yourself isn’t cool, and besides, even the good things you do are only because of God.

Gossiping. You might think you have this licked, but I hear some slip out from time to time. I need to have a talk with your friends Left Ear and Right Ear as well, as they shouldn’t be putting up with it from other tongues.

And while we’re on the subject of your work, I should let you know that there are other things that you simply don’t say enough. It wouldn’t hurt to be more ready to speak of our Savior or give an encouraging word to someone.

To show that you’re ready to grow, I would like you to print out these lyrics, because I think that they can speak better than I can. Can’t read? Maybe have your other buddies Left Eye and Right Eye help you out with that one.

Lovingly,

Ronnica

“Bite My Tongue”
by Relient K

I was gonna spell it out
In detail but
I dropped the call
Before I spilled my guts
The floor stayed clean
Like my conscience will be
‘Cause if you heard anything
You didn’t hear it from me

I’m sweeping up the seconds
That tick off the clock
Savin’ them all for later
When I’m too ticked to talk
And I need some time
To search my mind
To locate the words
That seem so hard to find

And sometimes I say things that
I wish that I could take back
The most crucial thing I lack is the thing called “tact”
And if you’re always so intently listening
Then the smartest thing to say
Is to tell myself not to say a thing

Yeah I gotta keep quiet quiet
Don’t let it all come undone
‘Cause if I dare open my mouth
It’ll just be to bite my tongue
To bite my tongue

I said I’m always close-minded
With an open mouth
And the worst of me
Seems to come right out
I’ve never broken bones
With a stone or a stick
But I’ve conjured up a phrase
That can cut to the quick

And sometimes I say things that
I wish that I could take back
And the smartest thing to say
Is to tell myself to keep

Quiet quiet
Don’t let it all come undone
‘Cause if I dare open my mouth
It’ll just be to bite my tongue
Yeah I gotta keep quiet quiet
Listen to Your voice
Because the power of Your words
Can repair all that I destroyed

And when I finally do
Let it come from You
The peace of understanding grips my soul
You’re the reason I
Have meaning in this life
Is so I swallow all my pride
And give You control
I give it all to You