Ignorant Historian

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Well, after two and a half months off, my unemployment ends Monday. So what I have I learned during this season?

1. God is definitely sovereign. He kindly overrode my own plans for my life, giving me something better.

2. Planning is good and necessary, but don’t be married to your own ideas for your future.

3. I can live on less income than I thought. Going to take advantage of this in the next couple of years to save up for long-term plans.

4. I thrive on a schedule and am rather helpless in forcing myself on a schedule without concrete items on my calendar.

5. Just because you have more time to read doesn’t mean that you will. I can almost guarantee I’ll read more in my first month at work than in the last month of unemployment (four books read).

6. My time is not my own, so I shouldn’t selfishly spend it on myself. Same is true of money.

7. Blessings freely given by God are more precious than anything you can try to grasp for.

I’m incredibly thankful that this season is over, but I wouldn’t want it to be different if I had a do-over. I can honestly say I’m closer to God and to others than  I was two and a half months ago.

My I-know-I'm-being-laid-off-so-I'm-at-least-going-to-look-good outfit

Today I’m being featured over on SITS!  I was featured 3 years ago, back when I was still blogging at Tale of a Kansas Girl.

Not that I’m not still a Kansas girl at heart. But I have lived in North Carolina for the past 6 years and am losing my girliness, as I’m turning 29 in two weeks (for the first and only time).

This year has held a lot of surprises and changes for me. I moved into an apartment of my own this summer and then Halloween was the last day on the job that I’ve had since I’ve lived here.

The next coming months are bound to bring more changes as I find a new job and gain a niece for the first time (due December 26th!). Also due December 26th is my self-published novel. If you enjoy young adult or futuristic books, I hope you’ll like The Journal. I’ll be revealing the cover on Monday and more details over the next few weeks.

That not enough about me? Here are a few posts that give more:

30 Before 30 – My list of 30 things to do before I turn 30 next year (3 down, 27 to go)!

With Prince Charming or Not – I’m unintentionally single, though it does have some perks

Children, Pneumonia, and Tornadoes, oh My! - The story of the longest week and a half of my life

I Choose to Hope – I’m battling to have the right attitude about my unemployment, and how I’m actually thankful that it’s made me recognize that I may have been too comfortable

Last Sunday of the month…boy, it’s gone fast! So far I’ve mentioned how thankful I am for my Savior, family by blood and choice, and my church. Finally, I want to share how I’m thankful for my unemployment.

Say what?

Yep, I truly am thankful for this unemployment. Don’t get me wrong, I’d prefer to be employed right now, but I believe that I’m not for a good reason.

Not that I’m entirely sure of what that reason is.

So far I’ve seen how unemployment has stripped away something that I wrongly took pride and identity in. I’ve seen how it’s one thing to say that I trust God when I have regular paychecks, and it’s another to say I trust him when I don’t know when I’ll get a paycheck again.

My unemployment journey is not over. I don’t know when it will be. But I do see more opportunities to actively trust God, knowing that He is sovereign over all situations, good and bad.

May I be able to say with Paul:

“Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:11-13)

For the last couple of years, I’ve been incredibly content where I am. I haven’t looked to do anything else but what I was already doing.

But this fall, God has shown me that perhaps my “contentment” wasn’t contentment as much as complacency. Instead of actively seeking God to know what His will is for me in this moment, I just continued the status quo and assumed that I’m where I’m supposed to be. I don’t think God requires us to be constantly changing our circumstances, but I do think that He wants us to always be willing to change our circumstances. Somewhere along the way, I dropped the willingness and settled in, comfortable. After all, I love being comfortable.

Losing my job (and the month or two of uncertainty beforehand) shook me from my complacency. I’m not able to continue my complacency as I’m no longer able to go with my status quo.

And for that, I’m incredibly thankful for this time of unemployment.

Photo by rosefirerising

• I didn’t apply for as many jobs this week, since I took a couple of days off of the search. I’m back at it though. My application count is now at 36.

• Working the election went well. It was much busier than the last time I worked, which is encouraging. I also saw about half a dozen people I knew, which I didn’t when I was working in my neighborhood.

• I took the day after the election completely “off” and just read all day. It was awesome. Unemployment definitely has it’s benefits.

• I got to spend some good time with people both in person and on the phone this week. Though it’s easy to get stuck in my self-made schedule, I want to make sure I’m always reaching out to others. I need that.

• I still haven’t turned on my heater. Neither the heat or air has been on since early September. It has become a bit of a game for me. I might have to turn it on this coming week as I’m having a few people over. I don’t mind freezing myself out (as if 57 degrees, the lowest my thermostat has gotten, is “freezing”), but I’m not going to do that to my guests!

I wasn’t unemployed a week before I realized the similarities between unemployment and singleness. Hear me out:

• You’re in the minority. “Everyone” around you is in a relationship and employed.

• People look on you with pity/sympathy.

• You get a lot of one-time gigs/dates. Okay, I don’t really get dates, but some do. I have been blessed with a few random jobs here and there though.

• Both give you a great degree of freedom. Combined, I could easily turn my schedule upside down, and I’m not sure any one would care. I don’t have any plans on becoming (more of) a night owl. In fact, I’ve slowly been shifting my schedule about an hour or two earlier.

• They are just seasons of life…neither is likely to be terminal.

See what I mean? I’ll enjoy both unemployment and singleness for as long as I have them!

It’s now been a week since I’ve been laid off. Though the last month or so has been particularly emotional time for me, I can’t say that I’ve found unemployment itself much to be emotional about. At least not at this point.

But I think I’ve also been helped through this time of uncertainty by knowing where I can find certainty. Immersing myself in Scripture has been incredibly helpful in reminding myself of the truths about what really is important.

Like most (if not all) Americans, I struggle with trusting in money for security. But what a foolish, flimsy thing to trust in! You’d think the stock market would have taught us that.

For me, I also tend to trust in my own abilities. I have been blessed with my natural abilities and with the education and opportunities I’ve been given, but ultimately these don’t amount to much. If and when I get a job, it may be humanly because of these things, but ultimately, it’ll be in God’s providence.

While I’ll continue to struggle with placing my trust in the wrong place, I choose to hope in the Lord. Not because I want Him to give me what I want (though, obviously, that is something I have and will continue to struggle with), but because I want to want Him alone. I believe all else is rubbish compared to Him, though I don’t always act like I believe that.

I choose to hope in God.

Saturdays aren’t special when you’re unemployed

Now that I’m going back to a 7-day-a-week blog posting schedule, I’m going to make Friday’s post a list of fragments too small to make up individual blog posts.

• Tuesday when I went to the library at opening time to start my job search, I was shocked. I guess within 10 minutes of opening is the only time the library is not packed. Within the hour, though it was back to it’s busy self. And I’m almost positive that every single person in there was doing exactly what I was doing: looking for jobs. Even the two middle schoolers, I’m just sure of it.

• And before you start to wonder why there were middle schoolers hanging out on library computers on a school day, I should mention that several middle schools here (and even more elementary schools) are on a year-round schedule. It pretty much guarantees that a kid isn’t going to get caught playing hooky. “What, oh yeah…I’m tracked out.”

• I had no trick-or-treaters on Monday night. I didn’t expect any, either. Our apartment community is mostly made up of 1-bedroom apartments, and I’ve only seen one kid who lives here.

• I’m busier now than I was when I was employed. I’ve taken the opportunity to serve others every day this week. I must say, I really enjoy unemployment…but I don’t want it to last forever.

• I applied for 18 jobs this week, which I’m happy about. I could have applied for more, but I was hesitant to start applying for jobs that I didn’t think I’d love. I’ll probably have to settle, but I want to give the jobs that interest me to have a chance, first.

Perhaps I don’t have a realistic view of the average unemployed person, but it seems like as a whole they watch a ton of daytime television and complain about the economy a lot (wait, that last one is pretty much everybody).

Whether that is true or not of most unemployed people, I don’t know, but I definitely don’t want it to be true of me.

I have big plans as to how I’m going to avoid treating my unemployment—however long it may last—as a vacation or excuse to do nothing. I want to set high standards for myself, because I know that I will only meet whatever goal I set, not ones that I never thought to make.

So what are my goals? First of all, I plan on leaving the house every “work” day. No excuses. Since I don’t have internet at home (though I do on my phone…so I won’t miss an email from a potential employer), I will be going to the library everyday to use their Wi-Fi. This will allow me to look for jobs, email résumés, and of course, post to this lovely blog.

On most days, I’d also like to go somewhere else each day, though this isn’t a must. I have a good friend who will soon to have a baby, so I can help her and hangout with her. I can volunteer more now, and I hope to pick up some odd jobs here and there, which will also help to stretch my savings. I hope to add some interviews into my schedule regularly, but we’ll have to wait to see about that.

Besides not being home all the time, I’m also setting high goals for what I want to do everyday, even on top of my regular goals. I need to take this opportunity to take care of things that I’ve been putting off. I also know a novel that is just waiting to be finished up…

Basically, I don’t plan on treating this time as a vacation. I’ve had plenty of vacation days this fall (in part because I knew that I had to use them up!). I still have work to do, even if no one is necessarily going to pay me for it (but you’re welcome to!).

I believe that God has a plan for my unemployment, and it’s not just that I find a new job.