Ignorant Historian

I love January.  Everything’s so fresh and new.  Christmas decorations, though beautiful, are rather cluttery.  I always make an effort to clean through my things in January, too, after being abundantly blessed at Christmas and my birthday.   Though I haven’t completely tackled my desk and its stack of papers (which I saved for last), I feel much more comfortable in my apartment now that almost everything is in it’s place.

January also comes with a fresh start.  Sure, it’s rather arbitrary what time of year we decide is the start of a new year, but I like having it in the dead of winter, the season I naturally have the least motivation.   I think if we celebrated New Year’s some other time, I’d likely fall into a funk after Christmas.  I look forward to having longer days (actually seeing more than the 20 minutes of sunlight I drive in to work) and more natural energy that comes with it.

I suppose I should talk about my lofty goals for this year, if this was a proper New Year’s post.  But of course it’s not, being 4 days late, and I don’t have major goals for this year.  While I have a hunger to learn and grow, I don’t necessarily have resolutions tied to those ambitions.   Really, the only thing I have laid out as plans for this year is my book goals, of which I have a few.  The only other two resolutions/goals I could come up with is to exercise three times a week (which was my goal anyway) and to wear a skirt/dress once a week (since I’ve gotten rather lazy, and really do love to wear a skirt).

More than anything, I want this to be a year where I grow closer to God and more obedient to His word.  For me, one of the hardest things about living for Christ is the living for others.  As my book goals can attest, I’m a bit of a loner. Like every other fallen human being, I tend to live for myself, seeking my own desires and pleasures.  May God show me the needs of the people around me…and may I open my eyes to them and make it a priority to meet those needs.

Photo by Ryan McD

I’ve always been a summer girl. There’s just something about late-evening sun, flip flops, and a hot breeze that brings a smile to my face. It reminds me of home and childhood in a way that none of the other seasons can.

Though fall has never been a favorite season, I can enjoy various aspects of this time of year: school starting, the leaves turning, and football. It’s really a rather pleasant season when I think about it.

But this year I’ve resisted. I’ve refused to acknowledge that it was fall. In my head I’d just tell myself it’s still summer. No need for sweaters, jackets, or socks. I’ll wear flip flops all winter long, because it’s going to stay warm. I don’t need to worry about papers, finals, or Christmas presents, because those days aren’t going to arrive. It’s going to be summer forever and ever.

I believe the reason why I’ve been wanting summer to last forever is because I realize that with the changing of the seasons comes the changing of a season of life. Once winter is here, I’ll no longer be a student, losing the last vestige of being a kid. Once the winter comes, I’ll no longer be able to wrap myself up in homework and get lost in a paper. This is it: the end of the road. After this there is no more school, no more childhood.

Though I’ve tried to cling to summer, I can’t help but notice that it is slipping through my hands. There seems to be a chill in the wind that wasn’t there before. The air conditioner in my car and in my home aren’t working as hard. The sun goes down much to soon. I’ve kept these thoughts in the back of my head until one day, when I had to spend much of the day outside in the cold, wind, and rain. I wasn’t dumb, so I brought a sweater and a jacket, but even those things weren’t enough to keep my barely-polished toes warm in my worn flip flops.

I realized it was silly to try to fight the changing of the seasons. I can no more stop myself from growing up then I can stop the summer from turning to fall then turning to winter.

I went home to my grown-up apartment, turned on the heater, and put on a warm pair of socks. It’s fall, and it’s about time to enjoy it.